Girl Behind the Curtain
by whenthewallscomecrashingdown
Summary: If her meddlesome family had any say, Rose would be outgoing and ambitious like the whole lot of them. But since they don't, Rose contents herself with her solitudinous writing. That is, until Scorpius Malfoy starts to pay a little more attention to her...
1. Chapter 1

**Girl behind the curtain**—

Scorpius Malfoy has charisma. That's really only the accurate way to put it. He has a good sense of humor, good looks, and he's a people person, literally, people love him. He can make anyone, even Professor McGonagall, laugh- which is really saying something as McGonagall rarely ever smiles.

I'm probably the exact opposite. It's easy, coming from such a big family, to blend in. You just don't have to do anything worth yelling at, praising, or laughing at. In fact, I probably have perfected the art of blending in.

It's not that I intended to originally. My family is just so _loud_. It's easier for me just not take part in anything. No one is yelling at me, no one is constantly fighting with me, no one ever pranks me; life is just simple. I just am. And they just are. And there is nothing wrong with that, we're all fine with me just being there and them just letting me be. But that doesn't stop my cousins from pulling me into their ridiculous arguments.

"Rose agrees with me!" They'll scream and then act like I actually do agree with them, but in reality I'm just another number tally on the scoreboard- just another person who can be counted in on their side of the argument. They never really ask me anyway. They don't really want to know what I think.

But anyway, I was describing Scorpius Malfoy. I've never seen him without a girl hanging off his arm, or discussing something in a lively manner with my cousins. Sometimes I'm even pulled into their discussions, usually having to 'agree' with one of them.

He seems to have the entire world eating out of the palm of his hand. He could say jump and at least half the school would say, "How high?"

It amazes me; really, the kind of hold he has is almost a type of brainwashing. Not that I'm completely immune, but this is just what I've observed.

I try to observe a lot. I think you learn a lot more about a person when they don't realize you're watching. Not that I stalk people. No, I'm doing _research_. It's a lot easier to write when you have inspiration and sometimes you have to draw inspiration from the people around you.

Which is where most of the population of Hogwarts comes in. Most specifically, Scorpius Malfoy.

I'm honestly not being a creeper. It's just that observing him is one of the most interesting things, ever. He never reacts the way I would expect him to. It's quite entertaining. And he's so funny when he's annoyed!

He gets annoyed by the tiniest things. He hates it when someone chews in his ear. He hates it when people walk too slowly in front of him in the halls. He hates it when Julie McCauley taps her fingers against the desk in History of Magic. And he especially hates it when someone points out that he is wrong.

He thinks that he's always right.

Which is, of course, statistically impossible. No one can ever _always_ be correct. It's just not possible.

Though, he usually is correct, I'll give him that.

He just can't seem to help himself sometimes. He _has_ to let everybody know his opinion about everything. This is usually when he butts heads with one of my cousins. They're all so hot-headed about everything. They all have an opinion that has to be verified a million and one times and everyone must absolutely agree with them.

That's why he usually fights the most with Lily. When Scorpius and Lily start going at it, the whole world stops. They usually pick a very public venue for the arguments and the arguments involve a lot of back and forth with words between the two. One time, Lily got so furious, she hexed him.

Occasionally Scorpius and Albus get into it too, but that's usually not as often. Albus is a pretty chill person in general, a lot more like me than he is the rest of the family, which is probably why we're pretty close. But when you get Albus angry, watch out, because he has a short fuse and he's likely to blow up in your face.

But Albus can't hold a grudge to save his life, so about a half an hour later he forgets anything ever happened.

Me, I'm silent when I'm angry. It may sound juvenile, but the cold shoulder is my form of punishment. It's a lot less messy than the heated arguments in which you spew insults that you wish you could take back the moment you say them. But it takes me a lot to get me angry or really any version of pissed off.

"Hey, Rose."

I quickly swivel my head and see, speak of the devil, Lily flouncing towards me.

"Lily," I acknowledge her.

"So there's a big party in the common room if you want to join in." She smiles at me.

I know about the party. But really, once you've been to one party, you've been to them all. Maybe the girls have different people to gossip about or the boys have different Quidditch teams to root for or the couples on the dance floor are different or the couples off to the side fighting are different each time, but it's basically the same thing.

"I know, Lil." I say to her.

She frowns and her eyes sweep over me, studying. One thing I should mention about Lily is that she's beautiful. She has long, straight red hair down to her waist, and beautiful hazel eyes that really make you wonder if eyes really _are _the window to the soul.

"Rose, why don't you ever _do _anything?" she questions.

I have to admit, I'm a little surprised. Mostly my cousins just let me do whatever I want to do and they leave me alone. So if I want to be in the library on a Saturday night, writing, what's it to them?

"I do things!" I counter.

"Sure, you study. Everyone knows that you have the best grades in your year, even better than Scorpius,"

She says that as if that's a compliment.

"But you would never know because you never say anything about it! You're not on the Quidditch team even though I've seen you play at the family games and I _know_ you've got talent. Why don't you push yourself?"

I'd never really thought about it that way. But before I can even open my mouth to say anything, she's off again, explaining more of her opinions.

"And you're gorgeous, Rose! Like you-could-be-a-supermodel gorgeous! You're tall and curvy and you have beautiful auburn hair and navy blue eyes and you don't even look like you _try_ to put yourself together in the morning! And you've been on what, like, two dates?"

This is why I avoid my family regularly. Not only are the opinionated, but they're _nosy_ and even if you agree with them, you'll get a long-winded explanation as to why you should agree with them.

"Oh, leave the poor girl alone, Lily," That charismatic voce chides.

You know the one I'm talking about, the one that just makes you want to smile when you hear it?

Scorpius sidles up to our conversation and forces his opinion on me too.

"If she wants to be here in the library, let her be here in the library." _It's not like anyone is going to miss her at the party anyway_.

So he doesn't actually say the last part, but in my imagination, he doesn't like me much. Maybe because I'm not as opinionated as he is.

Well, I am opinionated I just don't feel the need to shout my opinions from the Astronomy Tower.

"Oh shush, Scorpius. You are not helping me!" Lily rolls her eyes and smacks him with her hand casually.

I couldn't even imagine touching him that casually. I think I even shook his hand formally when I first met him.

"Now, Rose. I will lend you something to wear and I'll do your make up and then you'll look mega sexy hot and we'll go to the party and have oodles of fun!"

Like I would ever wear anything Lily owns. It's not that Lily has bad taste in clothing. She really does look cute a great majority of the time. She manages to look beautiful and not slutty at the same time which is a huge feat for any teenage girl at Hogwarts. It's just that everything that Lily wears is very…formfitting. I definitely could not pull it off. No way. No siree. That's not even an option.

"Lils…maybe Rose just doesn't want to go watch people get drunk and make huge arses of themselves. Ever think of that?"

He throws a sly wink in my direction and I can feel my face begin to heat up.

Why is he defending me? Does he think he's being gentlemanly? Does neither of them realize that I have my own opinion about this?

"Scorpius, shut up. Don't make this into another fight. I should think I know what's best for my cousin."

He raises his eyebrows at her. "Do you, really?" He says in that condescending I-know-so-much-more-about-the-world-than-you-do voice.

"Yes, now go away so I can convince Rose that she has to attend this party."

Do either of them realize that I have yet to say anything about this? That I haven't said a word to Lily since I said hello, and I didn't even really say hello. They seem to just want to make this about themselves.

Another thing about Scorpius and Lily is that people are obsessed with their strange relationship. Most people would think what Scorpius and Lily were doing right now ('fake' fighting and 'flirting' with each other) is a sign that they are meant to be together forever and ever. I've heard so many girls around the school gushing about how if they couldn't have him; there isn't anyone else in this whole school who would be more worthy of him than Lily.

But, from what I have observed, they are just too _dynamic_. It's like a constant fight, fight, fight kind of relationship. And really, who could deal with that constantly? In my opinion, they both need someone who won't fight with them, who will calm them down.

"I don't think I can do that," Scorpius winks at me again, "you see, I am very interested in the turn out of this conversation. I want to know if Rose will come to the party."

I think this is the longest conversation we have ever had. And it's not like he's actually talking with me, it's more like he's directing this conversation at me.

Lily is looking at me expectantly, as if this is a life and death matter. I can already imagine what's going through her mind it'd be something like _Am I going to win this argument or is Scorpius?_

"I'm not going to the party, Lils," I say as I turn back to the "essay" I'm writing and dip my quill back into the ink bottle.

Lily sighs and shakes her head at me, but surprisingly doesn't argue. I hear her leave the table and glance up to watch her.

Then I realize that Scorpius Malfoy is still sitting next to me. I glance over at him.

"Shame," he says piercing me with his brilliant grey eyes before leaving too.

What the hell does that mean? "Shame."? Does he mean that it's a shame that I'm not going to the party? Alas, I cannot trouble myself with such insignificant matters such as what's going on in Malfoy's head. It might possibly drive me crazy.

I stay in the library for a few more hours, writing until my eyes burn and I feel the practically urgent need to back up to my dormitory to get some rest.

As I make my way down to the common room I decide to stop quickly in one of my favorite rooms in the whole castle. It's a small room, and there's only a bookshelf filled with books on the art of practicing charms and a chair in the room, but it has the greatest view of the lake from the window.

Sometimes I enjoy sitting there, looking out the window.

Suddenly the door opens and two more people enter. They don't look around to see if anyone else is here, they just continue snogging. They're snogging as if their lives depend on it which actually looks a lot more sickening than it sounds (and it sounds pretty sickening).

I dashed behind the curtain the second they entered at first thinking it might have been a professor. However, now it's obviously not a professor and I'm not in danger of getting caught while being out past curfew, but I can't find a plausible excuse as to why I would suddenly just appear from behind the curtain. So I decide to wait until they leave so that I can finally leave. It may not be the most logical thing to do, I probably should have announced my presence initially but I just didn't want to bring up the awkward situation. Now I just have to sit here and pray that they leave quickly.

Just then, I recognize the tall, blond male that has attached himself to this short, curvy dark haired female. It's Scorpius Malfoy.

See there's one little fact that I have forgotten to mention about Scorpius Malfoy: I think I might be in love with him. But unfortunately for me, he'll always be the boy shagging the girls in secret while I'll always be the girl hiding behind the curtain, praying that sometime soon I'll find some way to escape before things get really awkward.

* * *

**A/N: So this just came to me and I absolutely had to type it up! I think since My Best Mate is Extremely Attractive is ending soon, this story will being my new Rose/ Scor short multi chapter fic. It's a different Rose than what I have been writing previously so I'm really excited about it! :)**

**Let me know if you think I should even continue the story or if you think it's complete and utter crapola and I should just stop writing stories forever. Eh, I probably won't listen to you anyway, but it's worth a shot ;)**

**Let me know what you think!**

**~wwccd**


	2. Chapter 2

Luckily I managed to get out of the small room before the real mating commenced.

After a few awkward minutes of hiding behind the curtain, I finally decided to just disillusion myself and then walk out of the room. The whole plan went surprisingly well when Scorpius and his tart just decided that they hadn't closed the door properly and then figured a draft had blown it open.

But their stupidity didn't make the thought of them being together any more enjoyable, I think bitterly to myself. I continue contemplating my unwarranted jealousy as I make my way down the hallway, heading in the direction of my common room.

This is ridiculous, of course, because I certainly don't have the right to talk about Scorpius like he's mine. I don't have any claim to him whatsoever. I can't even claim that we sometimes argue in the hallways, like my cousins, or that he occasionally talks to me during class, like the other girls. The only thing I can claim is that he is somewhat friends with most of my cousins so sometimes we get thrown into the same path.

Which makes it so much harder to pretend like the whole him shagging the whole school thing doesn't hurt me. I know that it shouldn't hurt me, a fact which I have to keep repeating to myself constantly. Scorpius Malfoy should mean absolutely nothing to me.

It was the most curious thing, frankly, when he stood up for me in the library, and _winked_ at me (twice!). This was the first kind of contact we had had in about two weeks, even if it was only because of Lily. Not that I am counting or anything.

I vaguely wonder what other people are doing at the party. Lily is probably dancing, if you could call it that, Albus is probably getting off with someone, Hugo is probably trying to impress some tart with his vast knowledge of Quidditch, and I already know where Scorpius is. I don't really know, or care, what anybody else is doing. The people whom I care about are pretty much summed up in a couple sentences.

The thing about being invisible is that you don't really make connections with many people. I could probably name every single person in this school (first, middle, and last names) and they could probably identify me (but only because my parents were famous war heroes and therefore they _have_ to know me), but I've never had more than polite conversation with most of them.

My cousins are the only people I talk to on a regular basis (if you call them pestering me with information and unwanted questions talking) besides my professors. I'm actually beginning to worry that I might lose my ability to talk.

How long can one go without talking before their vocal chords stop working?

I used to sing.

I'm not quite sure why I just remembered this now, but now that I think about it, I used to sing all the time. Especially when I was younger; my mum and I would sing anything from nursery rhymes to TV commercial jingles.

Singing with mum was loads of fun because I could always sing the songs for fun, without any kind of reserves about not hitting the right note. Mum never hit the right note. In fact, her voice was perfectly awful, always out of tune, but when we sang together we had the best of times.

Mum used to tell me that I had a voice like an angel and that singing was one of my gifts. Of course, as I grew older and more practical, I realized that singing couldn't really give you a career, and was kind of impractical.

I was about twelve when I stopped singing. For now, singing is only reserved for extremely happy occurrences (like when I sing to myself on my birthday) or when I used to sing Hugo to sleep at night. Hugo doesn't need to be sung to sleep anymore, but some nights when he was younger he would crawl into my bed when mum and dad were fighting and I would sing him to sleep to block out the noise.

I think that around the time I stopped singing was also right about when I realized how much my parents argued. They love each other, undoubtedly, but they argue all the time. I think they argue at least three times a day.

It's one of the things I absolutely cannot stand about my home life. It was worse when I was younger and more vibrant with life and my mum and daddy and Hugo and I would all be fighting at the same time, our screams echoing through the house.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped arguing. Hugo seems to have jumped on my bandwagon, but sometimes when his temper gets the better of him and he argues right along with mum and dad, I usually sing myself to sleep on those nights, just for old times' sake.

I've reached the Ravenclaw common room by now and I knock once and hear the musical voice say, "What is something that is feared by everyone yet you cannot touch, see, smell, or hear it?"

Easy enough.

"Fear," I reply and the door opens in front of me.

Do conversations with a door count as talking? If so, then I suppose I can include this door in the list of people with whom I regularly converse. It might be just a little pathetic that the only people I talk to are my family, my teachers and a door.

The common room seems to be deserted as the vast majority of the school population has probably found its way to the Gryffindor common room for the party. I quickly dash up the staircase to my left that leads up to the girls' dormitories.

I enter my dorm, sighing quietly, and head over to my bed.

The drapes on the bed to my left open just a crack and I see my dorm mate Matilda Levine peek her head out.

"Hello, Rose," she calls to me quietly.

Matilda is a very quiet person too. We rarely ever discuss anything of extreme importance but make a point to keep a polite conversation going whenever we see each other, one quiet person to another. I suppose Matilda might occasionally make the list as well.

"Good evening, Matilda." I reply stiffly, mentally cringing at my awkward greeting.

I've never really been good with people, but Matilda doesn't seem to care too much.

"Not attending the party tonight?" She asks; her voice is so soft it's like a whisper, even when she is speaking regularly.

"No," I reply, short and to the point.

"Me neither," she sighs quietly, stating the obvious.

If she were at the party, she wouldn't be here, now would she?

I smile at her politely and grab my pajamas before I head into the bathroom to take a quick shower before bed.

"Rose?" she asks tentatively.

I glance back at her.

"What are you writing all the time?" she questions.

I freeze. This is turning out to be a strange day for me. First, Lily trying to convince me to go to the party and wear her clothes, then Scorpius Malfoy trying to defend me against my own cousin, and now, Matilda showing the first signs of courage I've seen in the whole seven years I've known her by asking me about my writing. Not that I'll tell her.

"Just essays for school," I say nonchalantly, hoping that my lie will go undetected.

It seems that it doesn't as Matilda frowns slightly at me, but doesn't say anything more. I head over to the bathroom and attempt to take a quick shower, but the hot water just begs me to stay in there a lot longer than I had planned.

When I finally return to the dormitory, Matilda's drapes are closed again and I can only assume that she is asleep.

I sit down on my bed and take out my red notebook, crammed with loose pieces of parchment that is filled with my writing. Most of the time, the writings are short stories that I never finish. Sometimes the writings are my rants that I keep bottled up inside, too scared to ever say out loud. Other times, the writing is to do lists—do this homework, remember prefect patrol, avoid Lily because she's annoying today. Sometimes my writings take up much longer than a few pages and I actually finish a story. And occasionally I write poetry.

Rarely ever are my writings the similar to the last one I wrote. I try to do something different each time I write; trying to encompass a different aspect of life with each writing.

I don't know how good I am yet, but practice always makes perfect. I flip back through my notebook, glancing at some of my favorite poetry and stories, reminiscing about where I was in my life when I wrote them.

_You promised me._

_But promises are meant to be broken, and so you broke yours._

_You swore you would never lie._

_But I should have remembered you can never speak the truth for long._

_You kissed me._

_I wish I could've tasted the lies on your lips instead of chocolate._

_You held me in your arms._

_But your arms grew weak, and I grew too heavy and your arms fell from my body, exhausted._

_You loved me._

_I guess that love has faded._

_Was it ever really there?_

I remember writing that for my cousin Roxanne (more commonly known as Roxy) after she broke up with her boyfriend. Roxy and Cameron had been going out for a long time and she thought she had changed him. He used to be a player but he seemed really happy with Rox, always showering her with attention. When she caught him with another girl, she spent forever with me, crying about it. She is about three years older than me and my fourteen year old self officially decided that maybe all the pressure of having a boyfriend at this age was ridiculous.

Rox doesn't about this poem and I probably won't ever tell her that she inspired it, but obviously this could not have been from my own experience, seeing as I have never been that close to my own family, let alone a boy.

For some reason, all this thinking has made me hungry.

Maybe I should go down to the kitchens and grab a banana or something.

I quietly, so as not to wake Matilda, throw on my trainers, grab my red notebook and head back down the dormitory stairs.

I enter the kitchens and the house elves greet me excitedly, wanting to know exactly what I want to eat. I ask for a banana politely and notice that they seem disappointed as the banana requires no real work.

My mum would probably kill me if she knew that I frequented the kitchens and put the house elves to work. But they seem to genuinely enjoy it and sometimes the Great Hall can just be too much for one person to bear.

I wait patiently, watching the house elves work excitedly as they begin to prepare our breakfast for the next morning.

"Hello," a voice says behind me.

I'm so startled that when I turn around I squeak and drop my notebook as I see Scorpius Malfoy standing there, his hair wet (probably from a shower) dressed in long flannel pants and a t-shirt that says "Chudley Cannons" on it.

I'm surprised frankly; I never thought that my father and Scorpius Malfoy would share a Quidditch team.

"Sorry if I startled you," he says quietly, dropping down before I can to pick up my red notebook.

No! He absolutely cannot read that!

Obviously, he doesn't understand my telepathy as he glances down at the piece of parchment that had fallen from the notebook, the poem I had written about Cameron.

I make an attempt to grab the notebook from him, still squeaking (apparently I cannot make any legitimate words come out of my mouth) but he holds it just out of my reach and skims over the poem quickly.

"Did you write this?" he almost whispers. It's strange; he seems to become quieter and more subdued around me. Maybe that's just the affect I have on people, or maybe he can smell my fear emanating from my pores and has decided to take pity on me, toning down his personality so that I can feel at least adequate standing next to him.

It seems the only reaction I can muster is a meek nod and my whole face flushes as he continues to stare at me, as if seeing me through new eyes.

His eyes are a lovely shade of grey-blue; sometimes they are greyer than blue or vice versa depending on the day or what color shirt he wears, but right now his eyes seem to be a perfect mixture of the two colors, which is extremely breathtaking, even as he begins to read my entire heart and soul. He glances back down at the notebook and almost lifts the front cover up.

I must get that notebook back before he can read the rest! I make a grab for the notebook and this time he hands it to me, slowly, as if almost reluctantly.

I'm dying to ask him what he thought of the poem, or to get inside his head in any way really. I might even ask him why he stood up for me earlier today when I was with Lily. Or why he's being so nice to me now, when my cousins aren't around to force him to be nice.

But then a house elf brings me back my banana and I take it, muttering a quick thank you, and run right out of the kitchens.

I can't believe Scorpius Malfoy read one of my poems. What did he think of it? And more importantly why do I care so much about his opinion when I saw him practically shagging that other girl earlier this evening? Why must I fall in love with Scorpius Malfoy? And why is he being so nice to me?

* * *

**A/N: So what do you think? Should I continue writing this story or is it just a load of rubbish? **

**I actually wrote that poem awhile back and I'm glad that I finally found some kind of use for it...anyway, I would love to hear your opinions about this chapter!**

**~wwccd**


	3. Chapter 3

Scorpius Malfoy won't leave me alone.

Ever since he read that poem of mine after the party, he's been following me around relentlessly. I'm not quite sure what he wants, but he doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. When we're in class, he's in the desk next to me. When we have to do pair work, we're partners, even though I usually work alone. He's always next to me, constantly shaking his leg and licking his lips, like a constant shadow that happens to have slightly annoying habits. He even joins me in the library almost every night, sitting next to me while I do homework or write.

At the beginning he used to try to make conversation but since I never answered him, now we usually sit in silence.

I've slowly grown used to his presence, not even caring if he sometimes strains his neck to try and take a peek into my red notebook. I don't write anything that would be embarrassing for me if he were to read it anymore.

We've established a strange sort of camaraderie, somewhere between real friendship (which you probably have to actually converse to have anyway) and an acquaintanceship. I've even become so used to him being around me that sometimes I even forget to blush.

Lily thinks he's crazy. Well, she hasn't exactly told me that, per se, but I have caught them quite a few times, whispering in the hallway. She's always making these strange hand motions in my direction, granted, she always uses hand motions when she's talking, but there is a ludicrous amount of hand motions when she talks to him now. I wonder what she's always saying to him.

So now here we are, sitting in the library, weeks after the party. I'm writing and Scorpius is reading something (he usually either reads or stares at me—the staring used to make me feel totally self conscious but I'm used to it now), when suddenly he lifts his head and says,

"If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?"

I'm a bit surprised. I kind of figured that he'd given up talking to me since I never answer him back. I look at him, shocked, but decide not to answer (again). He just keeps staring at me, gaze unwavering as I just gape at him.

Now that I think about it, it's actually quite an interesting question. What would I change about myself? My lineage? No, I couldn't do that. I might complain a lot about my family and their obnoxiousness but I really do love them. Maybe I would change so that I wouldn't be so quiet anymore… no, if there is one more loud person in my family, the world might spontaneously combust. There's just no way the world could take another opinionated, fiery Weasley, the balance of the universe would be out of whack.

Scorpius is still looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

I shrug and turn back to my red notebook, expecting that to be the end of the conversation.

He closes his book and sets it down on the desk and leans back in his chair, moving himself so that he's in a comfortable position. He places his hands behind his head, giving the impression to everyone in the room that he is completely at ease even as he sits with the world's least talkative person trying to make, what I presume to be, polite conversation.

"Oh come on!" He says in a disbelieving tone. "Everybody has something about themselves that they really want to change." He nods his head in the direction of Madame Leroy, the librarian. "I bet Madame Leroy doesn't want to be so incredibly smart that she feels the need to often correct people in a manner that makes them feel stupid but there's nothing she can do about it."

So why bother thinking about what you can't change? I want to ask but I keep quiet.

"I know what I want to change about myself." He says confidently, licking his lips.

I glance at him and raise my eyebrows, letting him know that I'm listening and if he continues I'll still be listening.

"I'm too stubborn." He says matter-of-factly, like it's the easiest thing in the world to point out your flaws. "Sometimes I just wish I could let things go."

I can't believe it. So he doesn't _want_ to be stubborn? Isn't that why he gets along so well with my cousins? Well, except for the whole arguing to the point of hexing dilemma.

I feel like I should mention something now. I complain a lot about my cousins, but I love them all dearly. I know (way, way, way deep down inside) that they just want the best for me (sometimes) and that they can't help but be nosy and loud (it's probably genetic anyway) and I honestly can't imagine them being any other way.

Also, though I will completely deny this if my cousins ever catch wind of it, I find that the kind of confidence they have is…admirable. I mean, don't get me wrong, sometimes too much confidence is a lot to handle, but a little confidence goes a long way. Sometimes I wish that I believed in something so strongly I could stand up for something like they do.

Certainly if the whole world was like me, no arithmancy would ever get done and no one would ever talk to each other.

They always know their opinions and stand up for them, even when everyone else tells them it's stupid (whether they stand up for their opinions because of their pride or because they actually believe in them, I'll never know). But I find that very respectable.

"What?" He asks me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

I wasn't aware that I was looking at him in any certain way. Well, maybe a bit of surprise. I always thought that Scorpius Malfoy was completely confident in himself.

I shake my head and return to writing but now I can't seem to concentrate. I feel his eyes burning holes into the side of my head.

"Rose, you have to talk to me sometime!" He groans.

I raise my eyebrows defiantly at him. He smirks in response, almost like he's challenging me to say something, to prove him right.

I turn back to my writing again.

_Chasing shadows of the past_

Suddenly, the notebook is jerked out of my grasp. Scorpius is smirking at me again, holding the red notebook behind his back.

"Now that I have your attention…"

"Shh!" Madame Leroy gives us a death glare.

If he gets me kicked out of the library, I actually just might have to talk to him.

"Sorry, Madame Leroy!" He says, winking at her.

She blushes. Wow. I never thought I'd see the day when Madame Leroy would show any kind of human emotion. She's always very calm and reserved, even a little austere. Of course Scorpius would be the one to elicit an emotion from her.

"Rose and I were just leaving anyway. Say hello to Tabitha for me!" He winks at her once more and gets up from the table, dragging me along with him.

Who is Tabitha? I look at Scorpius questioningly and he smiles at me.

"Madame Leroy's cat."

How did he know what I was asking?

"You're face is easy to read."

How did he know I was thinking that?

He throws an arm around my shoulders like I've seen him do countless times with countless other girls. My face flushes a bright red and I wriggle out from underneath him, trying to put some distance in between us.

"I don't get you, Rose Weasley." He states.

I look over at him. His blond hair is practically falling into his grey-blue eyes (more grey today than blue) and he looks completely and utterly confused, like I'm some kind of puzzle that he's trying to figure out.

Maybe I shouldn't give myself too much credit. He's probably only interested in me until the next be girl enigma comes along, grabbing his attention. That's probably it. He has way too much charisma for a girl like me to handle.

He comes closer to me again, just close enough that I could reach out and take his hand. I won't of course, but it's a nice thought that I could do that if I so desired- if he would let me hold his hand.

"Why do you never speak?"

I shrug at him, looking away from his piercing eyes and concentrating on the portraits hung on the wall. There's a lovely painting of a young girl in a violet dress dancing spastically through the frame. I smile lightly at the girl and get a giggle and wave in return.

"Do you have an ugly voice?" He queries.

Is it possible to have an ugly voice? I snort a little at his question.

He grins brilliantly at me. "So you can laugh!"

I roll my eyes. Of course I can laugh. I laugh at my cousin's shticks (or dramatic scenes) all the time!

He walks beside me and we slowly wind our way through the hallways, not really saying much.

"So you like to write?"

I nod my head yes and continue to look anywhere but at his face.

"I see you writing all the time."

I just continue walking, not even responding to that comment. He sees me writing all the time because he's always right beside me.

He wets his lips again before continuing, "Lily told me that you rarely speak, even at home."

I shrug my shoulders again. What use is this information to him anyway? Why does he care? So I'm painfully, ridiculously, shy, so what?

"Do you ever get lonely?" He seems to have an endless supply of questions. It's like he's a little kid with his mum, forever seeming to have questions about everything, and never quieting down.

I stare into his eyes, neither nodding nor shaking my head to answer, but not shrugging my shoulder either. What do you think? Of course I get lonely sometimes; I just happen to think that it's better to be lonely occasionally than to be surrounded by people all the time.

"So, yes, you do get lonely." He says, answering his own question.

I don't even bother trying to correct him. In part because it's true and also because I'm enjoying hearing what he wants to know about me.

His eyes brighten and his smile widens as he begins his next question, "Do you like Quidditch?"

Oh, he had to pick my downfall. My dad and I debate Quidditch often at home. I'm a Holyhead Harpies fan myself, but my dad is an avid Chudley Cannons supporter. Sometimes it gets a little intense around my house because Aunt Ginny played on the Harpies and we team up on him. That's almost the only time I even talk at home, when I'm relaxing with my dad, talking about Quidditch.

I mirror his smile, attempting to convey just how much I like Quidditch using only facial expressions. I could never play Quidditch at school because I'd be far too worried about my studies (which my mum loves and my dad deplores).

This starts Scorpius off on a whole tangent all about the Quidditch World Cup, but I'm barely listening to him. I've said before that Scorpius has charisma. He really does. When he's talking about something he's interested in it's almost like the whole world disappears and his eyes light up, like a little kid. He has the enthusiasm of a five year old. The thing about him is that he also knows when to be subdued, like when he's at the library reading while I'm writing, and carries off all kinds of situations with ease. I've never really noticed this before, despite my previous observations, but maybe that's because I've never been around him when he's been talking about something he's passionate about.

It's like he has an effortless kind of grace.

"Do you support the Chudley Cannons?" One of his myriad of questions seeps into my thoughts.

I wrinkle my nose at him in an instinctual reaction. After so many years of living with my dad, mocking the Cannons is practically second nature to me.

"Rosee!" He whines, "And I thought you were cool!"

He thinks I'm cool? I haven't said a word to him, or anybody really, all day!

He stops walking abruptly, turning and looking at me sorrowfully. "Oh, Rose, I'm sorry, I forgot that I have Quidditch practice now! I must be along! I'll see you later!"

He flashes a quick smile at me one more time and then turns on his heel and jogs out of sight.

Something irks me. Since when did he start calling me Rose? And why is he trying to get to know me better?

I think I might be enjoying his attention just a little too much. I shouldn't expect anything from him; somehow, sometime, if I get my expectations too high, I'll be let down.

I don't think that I'll see Scorpius Malfoy tomorrow.

Merlin, I'm a terrible liar; even to myself.

* * *

**A/N: Ooooh! The plot is progressing! **

**And by the way- shtick is an actual word. How amazing is that?**

**Thank you all so much for all your reviews! They really have increased my motivation! I hope you enjoy this chapter...please let me know what you think, I always enjoy hearing your opinions!**

**~wwccd**


	4. Chapter 4

It's the yes and no questions that are easy to answer. Do you like strawberries? Will you cheer for me during my Quidditch match? Those I can just nod or shake my head, depending on the answer. But now, he's starting to branch out.

It's nothing too serious: What's your favorite class? Do you enjoy having such a big family? Who is your favorite teacher?

I usually find some way to answer him without saying anything, pointing to a book or shrugging; letting him interpret based upon my actions what my answer is. But the strange thing is I _want_ to talk to him. I _want_ him to know about my favorite class, how I hate having such a big family, how my favorite professor is Professor Anderson because he always compliments me on my writing style for my essays.

I want to speak to him.

It's strange because before I've never really wanted to speak to anyone. Speaking is something that happens when you have to communicate with someone because you can't do it any other way. Speaking is so unpredictable. Sometimes words and sentences and thoughts slip out when you don't want them to.

Writing is so much easier. Usually you can erase what you write, or destroy the evidence. Words have special significance. You can't erase them. Even with effective memory charms put on the other person, you still know the words you said. You can't relieve yourself from the guilt.

That's why I've decidedly avoided speaking. I've found that when I speak, things come out, unplanned. It's probably something I've inherited from my dad. He just can't seem to keep his mouth shut sometimes.

But I want to talk to Scorpius.

I want to explain myself to him.

He's going to be my downfall; I just know it.

"The Chudley Cannons are going to destroy the Holyhead Harpies this weekend!" Scorpius exclaims, throwing his bag down on the chair beside me.

I motion for him to be silent even though Madame Leroy loves him. He never gets yelled at in the library. Well, neither do I, but I'm sure if he was any other boy and not Scorpius Malfoy, he would have been ejected from the library a long time ago.

But, no, he has to go charm every witch he meets.

It's infuriating watching him work the people around him and yet fascinating at the same time. The way he can make just about anybody feel comfortable. The way he adjusts himself around certain people, allowing himself to take on a new character with each person he converses with.

He plays their interests, talking Quidditch with the Quidditch players, difficult quizzes with the Ravenclaws, pranks with the Gryffindors and Slytherins, current events with the Hufflepuffs, exuding charm and charisma as he talks with each one of them. It's like he's everybody's best friend.

I've been known to stand awkwardly beside him as he speaks with them, his hand on my arm preventing me from fleeing the uncomfortable scene.

He's been doing it more recently, making me stay with him. It's like he wants me to watch him, to copy him, to make interact with people, even if it's just standing there while he talks to them.

What I find interesting about our relationship is that he doesn't talk just about one particular topic like he does with everyone else. Our topics include, but aren't limited to, Quidditch, classes, pranks, random questions, and whatever seems to be on his mind that day.

"It's true!" He says excitedly, bringing me back into reality. "They've gotten so much during the last couple games! The new strategies are definitely working for them! Have you heard the way Butler flies through the opposing chasers, confuses the keeper and scores every two seconds?" His eyes shine brightly, like a child's.

I roll my eyes and shrug at him, shaking my head. Honestly, when is he going to give up on the Chudley Cannons? They lose every season; it's been ages since they've even come close to winning the Quidditch World Cup. It's like some sick obsession with rooting for the underdog.

"Do you ever think about cutting your hair?"

His question is so incredibly random, I jump a little. My hair is long and auburn, a little bit wavy, rippling down my back and almost to my waist. Had I ever thought about cutting it? Only every other day. I think that maybe a bob would suit me. Not especially short, but definitely shorter than it is now, shoulder length, maybe, or even shorter. Would I ever actually go through with cutting it? Probably not.

All the women in my family had really long hair. It suited them all and they all looked incredibly beautiful in their own ways. Plus, I was trying to be inconspicuous, invisible; my hair helped me do that.

I shrug my shoulders at Scorpius.

"Oh. It's just that you always wear it up and I figure it probably gets really annoying."

Is this what he does in his free time? Thinks about how I wear my hair and whether long hair is annoying? It just seems a bit strange.

I nod, agreeing with him that sometimes my long hair really does get annoying.

"Huh. Well why don't you cut it?"

Why does he even care?

I grab the ends of my hair, folding it up to the length that I desired sometimes.

His eyes go wide, and he lets out a slow breath. "Wow," he whispers.

I roll my eyes at him again and let my hair down. He's being ridiculous. I would never cut my hair; nothing is going to change just because he's decided to start talking to me. Except for the tiny little voice in my head that's telling me to just go for it.

Whatever, it's not like it's going to happen right away anyway. The nearest salon is in Hogsmead and the next Hogsmead weekend isn't for a couple of weeks. Also, the salon is a little…sketchy. Probably not a place where I'd like to attempt to make a big change.

"Come on."

He grabs my hand and attempts to pull me up. I look up at him questioningly, wondering what on earth is going through his mind.

"Just trust me. You trust me, right?" He whispers, leaning close to me.

Do I trust him? Yes. Inexplicably, I trust him.

I sigh quietly and pack up my things, then allow him to grab my hand and drag me out of the library, pulling me through twisting corridors, up staircases and down long hallways, wondering where on earth we were going.

It surprised me when we ended up outside the joint common room. The join common room was instituted into Hogwarts' walls shortly after the Battle of Hogwarts. Some intelligent person realized that part of what encouraged the events that lead up to the Battle was the disharmony between the Houses. So, in order to encourage house unity, the joint common room was instituted.

It's worked quite well, actually. Many friends hang out in here together, often complaining, laughing, and talking, all of them from different houses.

It's a fun place to be when you are friends with many people from different houses.

I watch curiously as Scorpius heads in the direction of Julie McCauley, a girl in our year who is famous for her beauty spells. She also tends to tap her fingers against her desk almost constantly during History of Magic, which I know drives Scorpius crazy.

"Julie?" He asks her gently, apologetically, "Could we borrow you for a moment?"

Her hazel eyes widen in surprise, looking back and forth between me and Scorpius, probably wondering what the hell is going on. Well, so am I.

"Sure!" She smiles widely at us.

He motions her over, away from the prying eyes and perked up ears of her friends.

"How good are you at hair cut spells?"

I grip his arm tightly, trying to stop him in his tracks. There is no way that this is a good idea.

Julie smiles brightly, "Oh they're my favorite! See my friends over there? I've cut their hair all semester!"

I glance over at her friends; they do all look very pretty. One girl, Gina, even had a short pixie-like cut which suited her.

Scorp squeezes my hand and looks raises his eyebrows at me, silently questioning me.

Do I do it? I look at the beautiful boy in front of me, who is constantly offering me a piece of his life every day. Offering me the opportunity to change myself, the opportunity to…

"Would you cut Rose's hair?" He asks.

Apparently he's not consulting me.

Julie's eyes run over me. "Of course!" She smiles, flashing her teeth at me. "What kind of length change were you thinking about? Or maybe just a trim? Would you like a colour change as well? I've been getting quite good at those too!"

"No color change." Scorpius says quickly.

I glance at him curiously, wondering what the hell his quick answer could possibly mean. I was right there with him though. A haircut, I could handle but changing my colour might be too dramatic. And it would break my family's heart. The colour of our hair is a special trait that belongs especially to my family and I would never hurt them in that way.

"Show her the length you were thinking, Rose." He says, nudging me.

I fold my hair up, showing her a length about halfway between my shoulders and my face.

"Oh my Merlin!" She squeals. "That would look so amazing on you Rose! It really flatters the shape of your face and everything! Wow!"

I blush quietly, looking down at the ground. Scorpius's hold on me relaxes and I look up at him and he smiles at me.

"Do you want to do it tonight?" Julie gushes at me.

I look to Scorpius for moral support.

"Yeah, if you're not too busy." He answers for me.

"Of course not! Oh this is so exciting!" She smiles again, her eyes crinkling with joy as she motions us out of the room.

"I've been absolutely _dying_ to try it out on someone other than my friends…" Julie drones on.

Scorpius continues to talk to her, going into Scorpius-is-everybody's-best-friend mode while I walk beside them quietly, wondering if I'm going to miss my hair. I decide that I might a little.

"Oh no, you don't!" Julie giggles, looking at Scorpius.

I look at her questioningly as she takes my hand pulls me with her towards the girls' loo.

"He doesn't get to see until the end!"

I flash a panicked look but at Scorpius but he just smiles in his assuring way and waves me off. That bastard. Leaving me alone with Julie McCauley who is going to cut off my hair—a mess that he started!

Julie sits me down in front of a mirror and whips out her wand. She begins prattling on about beauty spells but to be honest, I tune her out. She spins me around so I'm facing away from the mirror, slightly freaking me out as she brandishes her wand and begins to circle me, like a hunter stalking her prey.

She mutters a few spells and I feel my head seem to get lighter. She brings my hair around my face, adding a few layers in the front.

It probably takes her all of fifteen minutes to finish and when I look in the mirror, I'm shocked. My hair frames my face nicely, and it's all about the same length, not like some girls with ridiculous amounts of layers that have to be difficult to work with. My hair now comes about mid-distance between my shoulder and my chin, and hangs straightly. Apparently the shorter my hair gets, the straighter it is.

I smile and see the strange girl in the mirror smile with me, recognising her as my reflection. It's strange, but in a good way and I turn and smile and Julie.

"Oh I'm so glad you like it!" She exclaims and practically pushes me out the door.

Scorpius is leaning against the wall, but he's not alone. Lily and Albus are there talking to him. I almost consider turning around and running in the other direction, but Lily catches sight of me first.

"Rose?"She exclaims. "What have you done to your hair?"

I wince immediately, ready for her onslaught of opinions, comments, (insults?) that my new hairdo is about uncover.

She runs over to me, lifting my hair and seeing its new length. "You look gorgeous!" She grins at me.

I look at her in shock and she giggles.

"Seriously, you look fantastic! That hair cut is so flattering on you!"

I smile shyly at her and glance over at Al and Scorpius.

Al smiles at me too, "Nice look Rosie."

I smile at him too; maybe this whole hair cut thing was actually a good idea. I'm certainly beginning to feel beautiful.

But nothing prepares me for Scorpius's reaction. I look at him, raising my eyebrows in expectation. After all, this was all his idea. He barges in on my life, reading my poem, making me stand next to him while he socializes, constantly talking to me (and probably he'll eventually expect me to answer), changing my life forever. If he doesn't like it I might actually have to talk to him.

"Wow Rose," he whispers, winking at me.

My face flushes immediately and he chuckles at me, throwing me another wink.

"Oh Rose!" Lily butts in. "This is just going to be so much fun! During Hogsmead in a few weeks, we're going shopping and we'll get you a whole new wardrobe!"

I shake my head at her, eyes wide in fear.

"Oh don't worry," she shakes her head at me, "you'll look incredibly fab. It will be totally you!"

I roll my eyes at her as she wraps her arm around my waist, pulling me along to the join common room so she can drone on about her potential love interests.

I can't help one glance back at Scorpius. He winks at me.

* * *

**A/N:...So? What do you think? Do you guys like how Rose is slowly, but surely, beginning to come out of her shell?**

**I'm so grateful to all of you guys who reviewed! Your reviews definitely help me with my motivation for updating so quickly and they make me smile and laugh. I'm so glad you guys like how I am portraying Rose. To some extent I think it's actually a quite plausible personality for her to have (those Weasleys can be quite overbearing at times, yeah?). Anyway, thanks again! Keep it up! :)**

**I'm dying to know what all of you guys think about this chapter!**

**Let me know what you think-**

**~wwccd**


	5. Chapter 5

I can't seem to sleep anymore.

Though, I suppose this may have something to do with the fact that James snapped of picture of my new haircut when we met him in Hogsmeade and has now informed me that he sent it to the rest of the family. I'm, to put it mildly, freaking out. I haven't heard anything from them yet, but I'm sure I will soon and I'm quite anxious to hear about their reactions.

Surprisingly, my haircut has made quite the impression across the school. I've been stopped in the hallways many times this week by people whom I've barely ever even spoken to compliment me. I smile at them gratefully, a little uncomfortably, and they soon move on with life, to hopefully more important things than my hair.

So, my current insomnia has been caused by anxiety (stupid, I know) and after only a few hours of sleep, I have come outside for a few hours of quiet solace. It's the gray time of day, where there is light but the sun has not yet come up. The air is cool and crisp, birds are chirping, and flowers are blooming, alerting everyone who has been too busy to notice that springtime is almost here.

I walk around the courtyard a few times, enjoying the feel of the slight breeze on my face, rustling through my hair. I inhale the cool, clear air and feel the peacefulness surround me. As I'm walking I begin to ponder all of the changes that have occurred during the past month or so.

First, there was the whole Scorpius thing. He began to talk to me, for one, and now he's at my side almost every day. Then, Julie cut my hair, calling the attention of the whole school (and soon, my family) to me. And just yesterday Lily dragged me to Hogsmeade where we bought a lot of new clothes.

I was definitely wary at first, and the day in general was pretty much torture for me. I had to try on outfit after outfit and nothing ever seemed right until the end. However, I find that I'm actually very pleased with the outcome of the shopping trip.

All the clothes that we bought are something that I might actually wear. Lots of blues and blacks and other fun colors that apparently looks good with my coloring. And nothing that looks too tight or promiscuous, thank Merlin.

And all of this is due to none other than Scorpius Malfoy.

Scorpius has been such a change in my life that I wish I could do something for him, but anything helpful that I could possibly do for him seems to elude me at the moment.

The sun raises high in the sky and I realize that I should probably head back inside if I want to make it to breakfast on time.

I hurry into the Great Hall and sit down beside my noisy family members at the Gryffindor table. Usually, about once a month on Sunday, we eat breakfast together. This, unfortunately, is one of those days. There aren't hardly has many of us as there used to be (Roxanne, Fred, James, Dominique, Louis, Victoire, Teddy, and basically the whole lot have all graduated) but there is still enough of us to fill a corner of the table. Molly, Lucy, Albus, Hugo and I are sitting there while Lysander and Lorcan seem to be sitting over at the Ravenclaw table. They're all arguing about something or other, so I just ignore them and begin to dig into my breakfast.

Suddenly, Lily comes stomping over to the table, her beautiful face distorted into some sort of painful grimace. I looks back in the direction she had just come from just in time to see Scorpius (who had previously been avidly reading a letter) jump up from the table, scowling viciously, and storm out of the great hall.

What had that been about?

"Don't don't talk to Scorpius today," Lily says in a snarky tone, "apparently he doesn't want to talk to anyone with the last name of Weasley or Potter until an indefinite amount of time has passed." She rolls her eyes.

"Why?" Hugo asks, his mouth filled with food. Didn't mum teach him better manners than that?

"Don't ask me," Lily says, still irritated.

Huh. I wonder what's going on with Scorpius.

I spend a few hours with the family, listening to them talk to each other. Apparently their lives are all insanely busy due to Quidditch and love and schoolwork. But the day wears on and I realize that I haven't seen much of Scorpius at all, which is weird because we've been spending more and more time together recently. We spend at least an hour together every day, even if sometimes we just sit together in silence.

When I enter the library, after an emotionally draining day with the family-from-hell, I see him sitting at a table in the back, away from everyone else who is studying. He's not sitting at our usual table.

I flounder around for a few seconds, hesitant to approach him due to his current angry state. I finally give in, my curiosity to know what's wrong overpowering my inane uncertainty.

I walk up to him and sit down in the chair next to him silently. He looks up at my sudden appearance and I see that his eyes carry a kind of tortured despair that shouldn't belong on such a young face.

"I don't want to talk to anyone," he says, slowly in a cool voice. His voice is devoid of any of his usual vibrant emotions and it worries me.

I shrug my shoulders and continue to sit beside him. He has nothing to worry about; sometimes we don't do much talking anyways.

"Or should I say that I don't want to talk _at_ anyone, Weasley?" He asks viciously, his eyes flashing with anger.

Ouch. I'm a little hurt, but I try not to take it too personally. I know that I'm not the best conversationalist, but he never has complained before. I shrug my shoulders again, standing my ground silently and continue to sit beside him.

"Rose," he groans, "just go away!"

I stare defiantly at him. I can be stubborn when I want to be; call it a family trait if you must. He sighs and leans over the table, placing in his head in his hands.

That's it. I can't stand his moping around anymore. He's been doing it all day and I just can't stand to see him upset even if I don't know why he's acting like this. I miss his enthusiasm and liveliness already.

I stand up and his head shoots up immediately, his eyes filled with remorse as he opens his mouth, "Rose, I didn't really—"

As soon as he frees his head form his hands, I grab one of his hands and attempt to pull him up.

"Rose, I really don't want to see anyone right now."

I roll my eyes at him. Really? I figured that he had holed himself up in the library because he wanted to converse with as many people as possible today! His resolve quickly dissipates and he stands up, facing me.

"Fine." He sighs reluctantly, letting me pull him out of the library into the deserted hallway. We wind through a few more corridors as I take him to a more deserted part of the castle, knowing that he wants to be alone.

I spin around and face him as we meet a sufficiently remote corridor and I drop his hand, cross my arms over my chest and begin tapping my foot impatiently, waiting for an explanation as to why he has been so particularly glum today.

"You want me to tell you." He sighs again, running a hand through his hair in exasperation.

I nod slowly, glad that he is finally catching on.

He walks over to the wall and leans against, slowly sliding down the wall until he's sitting with his back pushed up against the wall. I sit down beside him quietly, waiting for him to begin. Instead, he digs around in his pocket and pulls out a worn piece of parchment and throws it into my lap.

I unfold the letter cautiously, with shaky hands, glancing warily at the fancy script that covers a short part of the page, knowing that this probably won't end well based on his current emotional state.

_Dear Mr. Malfoy,_

_I regret to inform you that at this time, The Auror Academy does not have a place for you. There were many outstanding students, such as you, and the decision was particularly hard to make. However, due to the previous decisions made by other people with your name, we have decided that maybe the best place for you might be somewhere other than The Academy. Good luck on your future prospects!_

_Sincerely,_

_Mafalda Winston_

I stare, gaping at the page in complete shock. This can't be right! Is that even legal? To turn him down from the Auror Academy because of his surname? I can't believe that my uncle and father would allow this sort of thing to happen in their own department!

I stare at Scorpius sympathetically and he looks away from me determinedly.

"I try so fucking hard," he says quietly to me. "I never get detentions, I never talk back to teachers, I try to be friendly with everyone and what do I get? Absolutely fucking nothing. All because my nutter of a grandfather did some stupid, horrible, vicious things and brainwashed my father! That doesn't have anything to do with me! And yet, here I am trying to do something that I want to do and not being able to even get a _chance_ because some stupid arse mother fucker decided I would immediately go bad because of my surname!"

I reach out and take his hand, squeezing it lightly to show my support. It's so incredibly awful I can't even come up with words to explain. I've seen Scorpius daily, and I'd like to believe that I know how he thinks and I truly believe he's a good person. After all, a person who deals with me daily should get some kind of credit.

"And I wanted this so _much!_" his voice almost cracks and I can hear the sadness in his voice. "Ever since my father explained to me what Aurors do, that's all I've wanted to do."

"It is unfair." I say.

He doesn't even seem to register that these are the first words I've ever even said to him. Maybe he just knew that eventually I would talk to him, to open to him because he's just the kind of person that is easy to open up to.

I just want to console him. To help him understand that this is perfectly awful and that I feel so terrible that this has happened to him.

But an idea comes to me, like a flickering light above my head. I could do something to help him! Hadn't it been just the earlier today that I wished I could do something for him? I was the niece of the Head of the Auror Department for Heaven's sake! My father was also high up in the department before he decided to help my Uncle George with the joke shop! If anyone can get Scorpius a second chance, it could be me. I won't tell him, just in case I get his hopes up, but I will certainly be writing to the people that I know (ahem, my family) to see if there is any way that this can be resolved.

"I know it's bloody fucking unfair!" Scorpius complains. "I've never even had a detention and they act like I'm going to attempt to take over the world or something!"

I giggle a little bit and I see even Scorpius begin to crack a smile.

"I think you could rule the world, if you wanted to." I tell him.

He glances at me, surprise flashing through his grey-blue eyes. They seem bluer now than they were before.

"Why?" He questions me curiously.

I shake my head, choosing my words carefully.

"I suppose it has something to do with the affect you have on people, myself included. There is just something about the way that you treat everyone that makes them want to be close to you." I try to explain, even though I'm certain that my words don't fully show just how amazing he is.

He considers this briefly for a few moments before shaking his head.

"Rose, sometimes I think you're the realest person in the world."

He leans against the wall, bumping his shoulder with mine.

This time I look confusedly at him, trying to figure out if that was a compliment, an insult, or something in between.

He catches my glance and smiles at me. "It was a compliment." He says as if reading my mind. "Everyone else around here seems so fake. They talk to other people because they feel they have to. I like that you're silent. And the fact that you're talking to me makes me feel pretty fantastic, like I'm worthy of your words or something."

I blush a pretty pink at his words. I suppose I never thought of it that way. I kind of like the idea that I save my words for the people who matter most.

We sit there quietly for a long time. I'm not quite sure how long we're there for…probably hours just sitting against the wall, contemplating life.

"I'm glad that you finally decided to talk to me." He whispers. "I was beginning to think that you never would."

I smile softly at him. "I think you knew I would. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to warm up to someone."

He laughs at me, "If you call a month 'awhile'!" He chuckles again, shaking his head at me. "You're a good listener, I'll give you that, but I like when you talk a lot better."

I roll my eyes at him. "As long as I don't have to sing."

"You sing?" He gasps, the light in his eyes coming back, making him look more like a five year old than ever.

I roll my eyes heavenward at his tone. So now he's got me talking to him, this boy really is my downfall. If I'm not careful I just might get hurt.

* * *

**A/N: So...here's the next chapter!**

**What did you think? Yay? Nay? Is that how you expected Rose to first talk to him? What do you think about the idea of Scorp applying to the Auror Academy and not getting in?**

**I'm absolutley _dying_ to hear what you think so leave a review and let me know! You can also try to tell me telepathically...but I'm not quite sure how that will work out!**

**Anyways, let me know what you think!**

**~wwccd**


	6. Chapter 6

_Dear Uncle Harry,_

_Enclosed is a letter from the Auror Academy Admissions Office sent to my friend. I completely believe that this is an unjust prejudice against a boy who has never done anything wrong. I know that you don't exactly have a direct say as to who may be admitted into the Academy, but I'm sure you have some influence over the matter, correct? As you can see from the letter, the only reason given for his rejection was his surname. He is very hardworking and, from what I have observed around the castle, does not display the same attitude towards muggleborns as his father or grandfather. I know it's a long shot, but is there anything you can do about this? At least give him a chance, I know that he deserves it! I'm not asking you to guarantee his admission into the Academy or anything but isn't there something you can do? _

_Say hello to Aunt Ginny for me! And when you see my parents will you let them know I say hello? Everyone around here is fine!_

_Love,_

_Rose_

I had sent the letter to Uncle Harry right away. I just couldn't stand the thought of having Scorpius mope around the castle for days on end.

Now all I have to do is sit around and wait for a response. It's already been two days so I hope the letter is coming soon. Honestly, this whole issue just won't leave my head. I know from experience that last names hold quite the influence over people. It's amazing how differently people treat you when they know your last name.

"Watcha thinking about?" Scorpius plops down next to me at the Ravenclaw table.

"Things," I reply quietly.

He smiles slightly as I speak. Sometimes I think that I still surprise him whenever I talk to him. It's like he's expecting me to revert back to my mute ways and never talk to him again. However, generally whenever I start talking to someone, I usually continue to talk to them, for consistency's sake.

"Good things? Bad things? School things? Thing things?" He questions rapidly.

"Thing things." I whisper quietly before digging into my eggs.

"Rose! Scorpius!"

We both swivel our heads in the direction of the interruption. It's Lily.

"Morning Lily," Scorpius greets her smiling.

Does a day ever go by in which that boy doesn't smile? He seems to be constantly smiling at something or other. It amazes me how happy he can be.

"Morning you two," says Lily, smiling. She sits down across from us and leans in close to whisper, "A group of us are going to the shack tonight. You two in?"

The shack was formerly known as the Shrieking shack. Actually the majority of the school population still calls it the Shrieking shack. I guess old rumors never fade. We have all heard tales from our parents about the things that went on in the shrieking shack: Remus Lupin transforming into a werewolf, Voldemort hiding out in the shack during the Battle of Hogwarts. When Teddy Lupin came to Hogwarts he maneuvered his way into the shack and ever since our family has been hanging out there.

But it's strange that Lily is lumping the two of us together like we're a package deal. We have been hanging out together a lot recently but we still do some things separately.

I glance over at Scorpius and find him looking at me questioningly. I shrug halfheartedly knowing that even if we refuse Lily will convince (force) us to go. Scorpius smirks at me and nods to Lily.

"We're in."

Apparently he has started speaking in plurals.

"Great so that means it's you two, me, Hugo, Albus, Creevy, Archibald, Hensley…oh and Bea and Liz of course…and I think a few more." Lily lists off.

Faces flash before my eyes, each one reminding me of the loud, obnoxious personality their body contains. I brighten up a bit when I hear that Lily's friends Bea and Liz are coming as well, they're quite friendly and not as outgoing as some of the other people who will be in attendance.

"Lily did you really have to invite Hensley?" Scorpius complains.

Lily rolls her eyes. "Don't give me cheek, Puff! Albus was the one who invited him." She's practically yelling. It doesn't take much to start a fight with Lily.

"Puff?" I ask, looking over at Scorpius curiously. He flushes a bright red.

Lily smiles evilly.

"No Lily!" Scorpius shouts, reaching across the table and throwing a hand over her mouth.

Lily giggles and backs away, out of Scorpius reach. He sits down beside me in a defeated manner and throws his head in his hands.

"I call Scorp Puff sometimes because his personality just reminds me of a Hufflepuff!" Lily squeals excitedly. She looks at me expectantly.

Well now that I think about it, Scorpius really does have the characteristics of a Hufflepuff. He's loyal, he smiles all the time, he's friends with everyone…I look over at him and find him looking at me ashamedly.

"I don't!" He protests, half-laughing.

"He definitely does." Lily nods.

I can almost sense a fight breaking out so I do whatever I can to douse the flames.

"Maybe just a little," I say quietly, returning to my breakfast.

Lily squeals and Scorpius groans.

"Not you too!" He complains.

Suddenly, a distraction in the form of the post came. My owl Calista lands gracefully in front of me and another unfamiliar owl lands in front of Scorpius.

I tear open the letter Calista gives me, giving her a bit of egg as her reward.

_Rose,_

_Quite an interesting situation, I must admit. I have decided to give your friend Scorpius an interview. Based upon my impression of him at the interview I might be able to influence Mafalda. Maybe I will see you and the others in Hogsmeade this Saturday?_

_Love, Uncle Harry_

I smile softly to myself. It looks like I might have actually done something helpful for Scorpius after all.

"Rose!" Scorpius says excitedly in my ear. "Read this!"

I take the letter from him and see m Uncle's familiar scrawl.

_Scorpius Malfoy,_

_The reason for your rejection to the Auror Academy has been brought to my attention. I feel that the immediate rejection because of your surname was an unjust punishment. If you are still interested in joining the Academy, I would like to have the chance to meet you. Say Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade Village this Saturday at 12 noon? _

_Sincerely, Harry Potter_

_Head of Auror Department _

_Ministry of Magic, Floor 2—Department of Magical Law Enforcement: Auror Office_

I look back at Scorpius excitedly. So my uncle really did keep his promise.

"Lily, Rose and I have to finish up our potions project if we're going to the shack tonight. See you later!" Scorpius says and pulls me out of the Great Hall.

"Did you see the letter? I might be able to get in after all!" Scorpius says excitedly. His blue-grey eyes are bright with optimism and I can feel the energy coming off him in waves.

"Congratulations." I smile.

He throws his arm over my shoulder and whispers in my ear conspiratorially. "So, how'd you do it?"

How did he know that I did it? I hadn't told anyone and I definitely didn't plan on telling him anytime soon.

"Do what?" I question innocently.

"C'mon Rose! You're the only one I told about the whole issue and I doubt that your uncle, who is head of the auror office , keeps track of every rejection letter that the Academy hands out." He says, rolling his eyes. "Also I saw you duplicating the letter when you thought I wasn't looking."

Darn. I thought I had been sneaky.

"I didn't think it was fair, so I did something about it." I say matter-of-factly, as if I did things like that every day.

"Thanks." Scorpius says, smiling at me brilliantly.

I just know that he will ace that interview. Hopefully with Uncle Harry on his side nothing will stand in the way of Scorpius becoming an Auror. I smile back at Scorpius and return to walking towards the library, his arm still around my shoulder.

"No, seriously, Rose. Thank you." He says, pulling his arm off my shoulder and spinning me around to face him. "I really owe you one."

"No you don't." I shake my head at him. "Friends don't keep tabs on that sort of thing."

If his smile could have gotten any bigger I swear it would have.

"So, about that potions essay…" He trails off mischievously.

"You're on your own." I chuckle and head in the direction of the Ravenclaw tower.

"Wait!"

I turn back and look at him.

"We'll head over to the Shack together! After dinner by the portrait?"

I nod the affirmative and head back to my dorm room.

I begin thinking about how last names seem to carry a lot of significance. At least, they certainly do in the wizarding world.

I remember once, when I was ten or so, and Hugo and I were at a restaurant with my parents. We had just entered and we saw that there were many people waiting to sit down. The hostess took our information without looking up, and told us that there would be about an hour or so wait.

Immediately my father was up for going someplace else, but my mum insisted on staying there because it was her favorite restaurant. So we waited about five minutes. We sat down next to another family and began to make polite conversation between ourselves when suddenly, the hostess recognized my parents.

Because of my age I didn't think anything of it. My parents had told me some of their stories from the school days, but little did I know that the Quidditch games and Halloween feasts weren't exactly the highlight of their school life. They had to fight evil and all.

We were seated immediately in the best table with the best view, despite my mum's protests that other people were waiting longer than we were. Waiters came by every few minutes to make sure that everything was to our satisfaction and I noticed everybody in the restaurant staring unabashedly at us.

My mum was none too happy about this, but my father seemed to enjoy the fact that we could walk into restaurants and avoid the wait. For awhile I thought it was pretty cool too.

It wasn't until I got to Hogwarts and started reading the newspapers that I noticed just how much my family was in the spotlight. By then my parents had told me the basics of their past but it seemed almost too surreal. My mum dad fought an evil wizard? The same people who used to tuck me into bed at night and read me nighttime stories? The media seems to have some kind of obsession with my family. Not just my immediate family either, but my _entire_ Weasley side of the family.

There are some articles in the papers that make me wonder how on earth these writers come up with some of these stories. _Ginny Weasley: pregnant with Harry's Friend's baby! Ron and Hermione Weasley: Headed for Divorce! George Weasley Spiraling Downwards into Depression!_

The articles made me so angry. Who were they to talk about my family? I realized that most of my family doesn't even read the newspaper anymore. In order to get any news they listen to Lee Jordan's radio show. I think that is probably why I've decided that I'm never going to write for a newspaper. I honestly don't know how my Aunt Ginny does it, writing for the same newspaper that spews lies about her private life.

But if all of this is happening to my family and we're the "good guys" I can't even imagine how awful it would be to be considered one of the "bad guys". To have to completely rebuild trust and relationships and your good name.

Scorpius hadn't done anything wrong and yet he was being punished for the last generation's crimes. I hadn't exactly done anything right and I was being exalted for the last generation's good deeds.

I wonder if somehow we can bring around a happy medium.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all so much for all of your reviews! I am constantly shocked by the amount of reviews this story receives! Actually, I almost didn't post this story because of how different my characterization of Rose is. I almost didn't continue because the first chapter wasn't exceptionally well received. But I am so pleased that you are enjoying my perception of Rose :)**

**So anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**On a side note: I am going out of town for about 5 days. The only reason you should really know or care is because where I'm going I will most likely not have access to the internet like I do while I'm at home. :( So, if I'm not updating for awhile...that's why. I might be able to though, so I guess we'll see...**

**As always, let me know what you think!**

**~wwccd**


	7. Chapter 7

"Rose!"

I turn around and see Scorpius walking towards me quickly. He's late, but only by a few minutes.

"Sorry, the boys and I were talking and I lost track of time!" He explains his absence.

I shrug. "It's fine. You're not that late anyway."

We begin to walk toward the Shack, venturing outside. The weather is a little nippy and I can't help but shiver a little bit. Scorpius begins talking about whatever he and the boys were doing, but I just let myself watch him talk. The way he smiles and his hand gestures allows me to realize just how much he is enjoying what he's talking about. His smile…well his smile seems so happy. I can't help but smile a bit when he smiles like me. His happiness seems to be a bit contagious.

"And I disagreed with him but I had to, right?" He continues with his story.

"Mhmm." I hum my agreement.

I don't really know what he's talking about but I agree with him anyway. Better than telling him that I haven't been listening to a word he is saying.

We reach the immobilized Whomping Willow and crawl through the space underground. We reach the main room and see the multitude of people that are present. Okay, so there aren't that many people here. It's just Lily, her two friends Liz and Bea, Albus, his friend Darren Hensley, Hugo and his friend Calvin Creevy, and Scorpius and me.

Somebody went to Hogsmeade and got Butterbeer and everyone is just mingling and talking to each other comfortably.

"Hey guys!" Lily wanders up to us smiling, Liz and Bea in two.

"Lily," Scorpius smiles at her.

"You guys know Liz and Bea of course," Lily says, motioning to her two friends.

Elizabeth Cassella and Beatrice Fitzgerald are really sweet. Liz is probably as outgoing as Lily when it comes down to it, but in a less natural way. It seems to me like she tries a bit too hard to be like Lily. But she's really sweet, regardless. Bea is more like me which is why get along. She's slightly more reserved, but she talks more than I do.

I smile at them both and Scorpius nods. They return our silent hellos with smiles.

"Rose! I don't know if I ever got the chance to tell you, but your new haircut looks amazing!" Bea gushes to me, blinking rapidly.

Bea always blinks frequently when she talks, which I find quite strange. Every time she speaks, she blinks quickly. I don't think she's aware of it; it's just one of her quirks.

"Thank you," I murmur quietly.

"And I don't know how you survived the OWLs! They are complete torture!" Bea continues as Lily and Liz move off to another corner of the room to flirt with Al's best mate, Hensley.

I nod in agreement. "Wait until you have to study for the NEWTs." I confide.

Scorpius agrees with me. "I don't know how Rose does it, studying all the time. Hopefully spending time with her will help some of her smartness rub off on me!" He jokes casually, slipping his arm over my shoulders again.

Bea's eyes widen and I know immediately that her brain is whirring a million kilometres a minute. To a fifth year, this simple gesture might mean that we are dating. It doesn't mean that at all, though.

It's just one of those things that Scorpius does to make you feel more comfortable. I've come to realize that all those girls I've seen hanging off his harm haven't exactly been lovers. Scorpius finds some way to touch the person he's talking to in each conversation. Whether it's a simple, light forearm touch, or placing an arm around their shoulder, he finds some way to touch them. It doesn't mean anything.

"I would imagine so," Bea says, blinking five times in a row. "Anyway, I'm going to go say hello to Albus! I'll see you two later! Good luck studying for those NEWTs!" She blinks a few more times, smiles at us, and goes in the direction of Albus.

I think she might have a small crush on Albus, to be honest.

"She's nice enough." Scorpius whispers in my ear.

"Have you noticed how many times she blinks in a conversation?" I whisper back to him.

He looks at me, eyebrows scrunched together, with a confused expression on his face. "What?"

"She blinks a lot." I say to him smiling. "Sometimes I wonder if you ever observe anything about anybody." I say teasingly, knowing it will bother him if I call him unobservant.

"I do!" he defends himself. "I just listen to what she was actually saying. You know, she was asking for your help on studying for the OWLs?"

I frown at him. I did not pick up on that at all. In fact, I don't think she was even asking for my help. "What?'

"That's why she brought up how well you did on the OWLs."

"Well did you know that she thought we were dating?" I counter, not to be outdone.

His blue eyes widen and his arm drops from my shoulders. "What?"

"You mentioned hanging out with m frequently with your arm around my shoulder." I explain to him slowly, knowing that he probably wouldn't pick up the significance.

He rolls his eyes, throwing his arm over my shoulder again. "That's stupid."

I chuckle quietly. "She's a fifteen year old girl."

"I'll put my arm around you if I want to." He declares.

"Of course you will," I say patting his arm.

"Hello, Rose" Darren Hensley approaches us smiling.

Hensley is quite the character. He's a muggleborn, outgoing, and has the prettiest brown eyes you'll ever see. He goes by Hensley because he hates his first name. He's Albus's best mate so I see him around regularly during breaks, and I have had a few interesting discussions with him. He has a great personality, outgoing but not overbearing and he didn't make me feel like I had to talk to him, which was a nice change from my family.

I smile in response as my hello.

"Hey, have you decided what you want to do after school yet?" Hensley asks.

He's also obsessed with _what happens next_. He always talks about the future like it's some kind of amazing unknown (which I suppose it is). He has his whole life planned out and was completely surprised when he found out that I had no idea what I was doing with my future.

I shake my head.

I have no idea what I want to do. I'm not one of those people who have known from a young age, like Scorpius or Hensley. Scorpius has wanted to be an Auror since forever and Hensley hasn't even considered another job since he got hurt in Quidditch and watched the Healer heal his broken bone.

I'm not like that. I know that I like to write, but I don't think it's that easy to make a career out of it. I don't seem to have any other talents. I can't talk to anyone, though I'm getting better at that; I'm not brave enough to be an Auror. I'm smart, that much I can gather from my grades, but I don't know what I can do with that. I don't have enough passions.

"Ah, you'll find out eventually." Hensley says in an assuring, comforting tone, touching my forearm lightly.

I smile back at him. "Thank you, Hensley."

He practically beams at me.

"Um, Rose," he blushes a little, "I was wondering something." He brings his hand up to his neck, rubbing uncomfortably.

"Sure," I whisper.

"Uh, Malfoy, could you um…" He nods in a different direction.

"Sure, mate." Scorpius says easily.

Scorpius's hold on me had gotten tighter since Hensley had joined our conversation but he reluctantly drops his arm from my shoulder. I squeeze his hand as he walks away and he looks back and winks at me, heading over to Albus and Lily.

"I um, I think I might like someone." Hensley whispers to me, glancing around to make sure no one heard him.

"Who?" I question.

I think I might have an idea already.

"Lily." He mumbles, looking away from me.

I chuckle.

"What?" he sounds worried.

"I already knew that." I admit to him.

"Am I that obvious?" he asks frantically. "Do you think Albus knows?"

"No, and no again. Your secret is safe with me. But I think you should ask her out."

"But I'm going to leave soon and she's studying for OWLs…" he trails off, looking at Lily.

She's laughing at whatever Scorpius has just said and she swats him lightly. Her hazel eyes are bright and her smile is big, showing all of her teeth. Her bright hair sways in the dim light, giving the impression that it is fire itself impersonated.

I shrug and Hensley. "Go for it, or don't go for it- as long as when you're an old man looking back on the past, you don't regret anything."

Hensley stares back at me, a shocked expression on his face. "Thanks, Rose."

"No problem. Now let's go talk to them."

I walk in the direction of my cousins and Scorpius and feel Hensley following along behind me.

"Rose, I'm almost ready to leave. Big day tomorrow." Scorpius says to me, winking.

Tomorrow is Hogsmeade day. The day that Scorpius will meet my Uncle Harry and try to convince him that he belongs at the Auror Academy. I know that Scorpius will do fine but I can imagine his fear and nervousness.

"It is." I acknowledge.

"Want to walk back to the castle with me?" He questions.

I nod and hug Lily, Albus, and a tentative Hensley goodbye.

We crawl out of the tunnel and begin walking slowly and stealthily back to the castle, trying not to get caught.

"Rose?" Scorpius whispers.

I glance at him to let him know I'm listening. Normally I would answer, but I feel like I've talked almost too much tonight, like my quota of words seems to be used up already.

"Will you go with me to the interview tomorrow?" He's staring stoically ahead, as if he's afraid I won't.

"Sure," I whisper, grabbing his hand reassuringly.

"Thanks." He whispers.

It occurs to me that even though Scorpius is so loved by everyone he meets, he's still insecure. He has a million friends and acquaintances that would immediately come to his defense, or help him out in a moment of crisis, I get the impression that he wouldn't ask for their help. I feel…proud…almost special that he's asked for my help during his hard times.

As I get ready for bed, I can't help but wonder how tomorrow will go. My Uncle Harry will have to help Scorpius—right?

* * *

**A/N: Ah...so Rose is finally beginning to talk to more people! :) I apologize for the lateness of this chapter, as I mentioned before I was out of town and then I had an awful case of writer's block...**

**Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**I have also written another Rose/Scorpius one-shot called Reassurances so feel to check that out if want to!**

**Let me know what you think!**

**~wwccd**


	8. Chapter 8

Here we are. Hogsmeade, Three Broomsticks, and I can just now hear the clock chiming noon.

Scorpius and I are sitting at a table in the back of the restaurant, drinking Butterbeer. Scorpius keeps licking his lips and shaking his legs, showing his nerves. The door to the pub opens again, and a blast of cold wind whips through the roomy place for the millionth time today. Scorpius whips his head around, like he has every time the door has opened since we entered. He clenches his jaw determinedly and his hand twitches.

I follow his line of sight and see my uncle enter: hair windswept and cloak damp from the cold, rainy atmosphere outside. He spots me and waves, coming over to our table.

"Hello Rosie," my uncle says, using my childhood nickname.

There are just some people that I will never be able to convince to call me Rose. Read: my family. To be fair, I suppose I'd been "Rosie" to them long before I'd learned to walk, talk and think on my own and some habits die hard.

"Hello Uncle Harry," I say politely, quietly and stand up to hug him.

He smells like he always does: earthy. I don't quite know how else to explain, other than the familiar scent of my loving uncle.

He pulls away and looks down at me, shaking his head at me as if he can't seem to figure something out and then turns his attention to Scorpius.

"You must be Scorpius Malfoy." He says, holding out his hand.

Scorpius nods, "Hello, sir." He says, shaking his hand roughly.

They continue to shake hands, probably doing some macho, manly thing where they judge each other based on the grip of the handshake.

"I'll go refill the butterbeers," I say, trying to be discreet.

I catch Scorpius's eye. He looks a little intimidated yet determined at the same time. I give him an encouraging smile as I pick up our empty glasses; giving my uncle and Scorpius time to get acquainted.

I go up to the bar and see Rosmerta, she's been bartending for Three Broomsticks for ages, making her quite old, but she doesn't look it in the least. Well, okay, she looks a little frayed around the edges, but still beautiful in a bartender-ish way. She and my family are close friends, making her a friend of the family.

"Can I get two refills?" I ask so quietly.

"Sure thing," she says, smiling at me widely as she grabs the glasses from me. "But isn't the boy supposed to be the one getting the refills when you're on a date?" She winks.

I blink at her in surprise. It's true that Scorpius had been the one to get our refills earlier and there were only two of us at the table, but we certainly did not look like we were on a date. I wasn't all dolled up, his hands weren't sweaty and we didn't keep giggling like mad people across the table.

"We're not on a date."

"Of course," she winks again, "I won't tell your uncle!"

She slams the two butterbeers on the counter in front of me and before I can protest she's off to the next customer. I glance over at Scorpius and Uncle Harry and see them looking right at me. Scorpius is talking and my uncle is just sitting there nodding, all the while they're staring at me. I give them a questioning look but smile and wave.

They both nod in unison and my uncle turns back to Scorpius, giving him his full attention.

I feel that my presence isn't exactly needed at my table at the moment so I look around the restaurant. Hensley and Al are sitting in the other corner, looking at my uncle suspiciously. I guess Hensley didn't get up the nerve to ask Lily out yet…I wander over in their direction with my two cups.

"Hello Al," I whisper.

"What's my dad doing here talking to Malfoy?" He asks incredulously.

I hesitate just for a second. "I don't know…I'm not over there. Uncle Harry just told me that he needed to talk to Scorp and so I left. Maybe it's Auror stuff." I shrug.

I don't think that Scorpius would appreciate my broadcasting his failure to get into the Auror Academy around the restaurant. Somewhere along the way the Hogwarts Rumor Vine would pick it up and there'd be no end to the whispering and taunting.

"Oh." Al says his curiosity satiated. Suddenly his eyes flicker to my right, his face morphing into one of curiosity again as I feel another presence beside me.

I glance and see that Matilda has just joined the conversation, but has yet to actually contribute anything. Al and Hensley are looking at her strangely.

"Hello, Matilda." I say questioningly, wondering why she's here.

She's standing right next to me, wearing a black cloak with her dark hair hanging in her face. She's hunched over and looking down so I can barely see her blue eyes. Honestly, if I didn't know who she was or share a dorm with her, I would have no idea who is standing next to me, it's a little frightening.

"Rose." She nods, and then just stands there.

Matilda is almost too quiet. I'm quiet, I don't talk to many people, but Matilda seems to have a fear of talking to people. I like to think that I just choose to ignore people, and that I choose my friends, and my words with caution. But Matilda takes shy to a whole new level.

Al and Hensley just look at her awkwardly, having no idea what to say with to someone so quiet who they don't know.

"Al, Hensley, this is my dorm mate Matilda." I introduce her and Matilda flushes.

She leans in close to me and whispers, "If you could please follow me?"

Al and Hensley have already started another conversation about Quidditch but they're eyeing Matilda cautiously, like they just can't understand her.

I nod and she turns around abruptly, walking away quickly. I mumble a "see you later" to the boys and follow after her, levitating the cups so they follow behind me. I glance over to my table and see Uncle Harry and Scorpius still talking, so I continue to trail Matilda.

She's heading towards the lavatories and when she reaches the little fork in the path she waits for me to catch up to her. I'm breathing fast, but she's standing there, impassive. She clutches my arm and tilts her head to the right, turning to walk in that direction. I follow here again, this time connected by the arms, and she stands right outside the boy's lavatory, listening to the booming voices inside.

I look at her curiously as she points her wand to herself, casts a disillusioning charm and her body blends into the wall. Then she, presumably, casts the spell on me because a cold feeling runs through my body.

I listen to the voices because presumably that's why she dragged me down here.

"…That lying, cheating, bastard." One of the boy's voices was saying.

It wasn't a voice that I knew right away, but it sounded vaguely familiar.

"He's the scum of the earth; he shouldn't be allowed to be accepted into that kind of business! Think of all the things his father did! He's going to end up just like that scumbag!"

"We should make sure that he never fucking breathes again!"

"Hell yeah. We'll make him want to die before joining them!"

The boys sounded vicious, like they would stop at nothing to stop this "lying, cheating, scumbag of the earth bastard" from joining undefined sources. Why did Matilda lead me here and have me listen to this?

Just as I'm thinking this, I feel a swift shove to my chest. Matilda is back in regular form and the toilets are flushing in the boys' bathroom. She waves her wand at me and I become visible again, and she sets off at a quick pace back to the restaurant.

I follow behind her quickly, but by the time I get back to the main part of the restaurant, Matilda is gone. I glance over to see that Albus and Lily are at the table with Uncle Harry and Scorpius and I quickly head over there, the drinks still levitating behind me.

I grab Scorpius's drink and place it down in front of him, sitting back down in my old chair, still warm from my Uncle Harry.

"But Daddy!" Lily is whining in her 'daddy's little angel' voice.

"Sorry sweetie, but maybe we can get you a new broom over the summer." Uncle Harry was saying kindly to his youngest child.

"Dad, I was just wondering about that…Hensley can come stay with us over the summer, right? Because his parents are in a right state about him right now for Merlin only knows why and…"

"Come on Lily, Albus; let's leave Rose and Scorpius alone now." Uncle Harry says kindly, smiling at us. "We'll go talk over there." Uncle Harry sets down a galleon on the table. "Drinks are on me you two." He smiles at us and then leaves, dragging his two children along with him.

"Thanks," I mutter and Scorpius smiles widely. "How do you think it went?" I ask, leaning in to talk to him. It's hard to hear under the bangs and clashes of the crowded pub.

"I don't want to talk about it." Scorpius says, shaking his head. "I don't know if it went well but I don't think it went badly….I just don't want to think about it until I get my letter." He says, shaking his head.

"Well obviously it didn't go too badly if Uncle Harry wanted to pay for our drinks." I muse, looking at my uncle fondly.

"Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It." Scorpius enunciates every word like he's speaking to a three year old.

I roll my eyes and take a swig of my drink. I set it down and raise my eyebrows at him.

"I don't know what I want to talk about, stop looking at me like that."

I continue to stare at him, not willing to give up my upper hand in this conversation.

"How about those Cannons?" He offers weakly, smiling at me.

I giggle. "They're just as awful as usual, you know that."

He nods at me and gulps down the rest of his Butterbeer.

"Let's get out of here. I'm done with Hogsmeade for the day."

We walk back to the castle in silence, his arm over my shoulder. I'm really curious as to how he thinks the interview went, but I decided to leave him be. I know that sometimes you just want to be left alone, to your own thoughts.

My thoughts wander back to those two boys in the restroom. Who had they been talking about? I can't even begin to imagine who the 'scumbag of the earth' could be. Maybe I'll just keep a watch out for anything suspicious.

I look over at Scorpius who seems pale, paler than usual. He's licking his lips nervously and I take his hand and squeeze it, trying to reassure him. I'm sure he did fine. There's no way he didn't do well on that interview.

I consider for a few seconds telling him about Matilda and the boys in the restroom, but I decide against it. I don't want to add just another weird, stressful thing on to his plate. Plus, what if it turns out to just be nothing? Some guys talking crack about another Quidditch team?

"When did Uncle Harry say he'd get back to you?" I question, unable to resist.

Scorpius groans, pulling his arm off my shoulder. I grab onto his hand to keep him from marching away from me.

"Last question. I promise."

"Next week." Scorpius says curtly.

"Alright." I smile at him encouragingly. "So how about those Canons?"

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter! Whoo!**

**So, many of you have been asking how long this story is going to be. Truth is, I have no bloody clue. Could not tell you. It still has more chapters and I have a few more ideas for it, if that helps. Otherwise just keep it on story alert until I have a better clue!**

**Obviously the conversation heard in the boys' bathroom is important...just a little clue.**

**As always, let me know what you think!**

**~wwccd**


	9. Chapter 9

_When the world stops turning_

_And the fire stops burning_

_And ice is nowhere to be found_

_Know that I care, even if I do not dare_

_Face the wrath of those who love me, of those to whom I am bound_

_Even if they strip me bare,_

_I will choose them, even if they have soured_

_Because they hath loved me _

_I am a coward_

_For that I apologize_

I stare down at my piece of parchment and tap my quill against my chin. Where on earth had that poem come from? It had been awhile since I'd written poetry and I felt a little rusty. The strangeness of this poem confused me. I had no idea where the words came from; they simply slipped out of my head and on to the parchment in front of me. Usually, I need some kind of inspiration, something specific, in order to write. I usually know what my poems are about, but not this time.

The sudden appearance of a person across the table drags me from my thoughts.

Scorpius. Of course. I turn back to my notebook, tweaking some of the words, frowning slightly as I try to concentrate. He's shaking his legs again. I've come to realize it's his nervous/excited habit, and it happens to be quite distracting. I try to ignore him for a few moments to ignore him, but his presence is flustering, so I set down my quill and look up at him.

He's not looking at me, but instead at all the other people in the library. He glances around quickly; his head rotating as he quickly scans the library for only Merlin knows what.

"Scorpius?" I ask tentatively and his grey-blue gaze settles on me.

There's something dark in his eyes, behind his neutral face that disturbs me a bit. I can't quite put my finger on it.

"Is everything okay?" I ask immediately.

"Great," he smiles a fake, calculated smile. It doesn't reach his eyes.

I look at him disbelievingly and choose not to say anything. He knows that I don't believe him.

"No, really, everything's fine. Perfect even." He states. I hear a slight hint of sarcasm in his tone and I'm understandably curious. If everything is perfect then why isn't he happy?

"Sure," I say, returning to my notebook.

His legs immediately start shaking again. I look up once more, trying to figure out how to ask him what I want to know without saying it so outright.

"Excuse me?" A small, quiet voice behind me breaks into my train of thought. I swivel around to see Beatrice, Lily's friend behind us.

"Hello, Beatrice." Scorpius answers cordially for us.

"Um, hi. Rose? Lily actually wants you. She's in quite a state and no one knows why, but she asked for you."

I furrow my brow, glancing sideways at Scorpius. He looks just as confused as I do. However I'm usually Lily's go-to girl when she wants to run something by me. Something about me being a good listener, seeing as I rarely ever talk.

"Alright." I say quietly, closing my notebook. "I'll talk to you later, Scorpius."

"Sure," he shrugs. I can still sense something is off about him. I don't know what it is, but I will drag it out of him somehow.

I squeeze his shoulder before I follow Beatrice and even flash him a small, reassuring smile. Whatever is wrong, it can't be something that can't be fixed. When I see is happy smile smiling back at me, the one that sends flutters through my body, I know that everything will be okay.

I follow Beatrice out of the library, up a few staircases, around a few corners, and into the old abandoned classroom that Lily and her friends had claimed as theirs in third year. They had brought cushions and good smelling candles, and created their own little hideaway from the rest of the castle.

As I enter through the door, I see Lily at the back of the classroom, sobbing hysterically. Liz is sitting beside her, looking a bit uncomfortable, like she doesn't know what to do. Lily can be a bit emotional; I don't blame Liz for being a little frightened. I walk up to Lily and place my arm on her back, my hand rubbing circles on her back to try and calm her.

Liz and Bea motion quietly to me that they are going to leave and I nod, allowing them to leave me alone with Lily. She shudders and gasps, trying to regain a sense of normal breathing, but fails miserably as the tears continue to stream down her face.

"Rose…" she cries, and the rest of her words are drowned out. I can't understand a word she's saying, so I continue to rub her back, sitting there quietly on a bubblegum pink cushion as my cousin cries.

When she finally, after a few gasping breaths, begins to calm down, I ask a question.

"Are you okay, Lils?"

Her childhood nickname slips from my tongue and even though she's yelled at Albus and James countless times for calling her that at Hogwarts, she ignores my slip now and breathes deeply.

I've found that asking if she's okay works loads better than "What's wrong?" "What's wrong?" leads to more tears as she's reminded of the terrible thing that just happened, and the tears come again.

"I don't know." She whispers, wiping some of the tears off her face. I transfigure the pillow beside me into a handkerchief and hand it to her. She smiles at me gratefully, her swollen eyes and blotchy skin shows me just how long she's been crying.

"Rose, what do _you_ do when the boy you like, likes someone else?" She questions softly, sniffling a bit.

I stiffen beside her. She makes it sound like I would have experience at that. Is that why she called me in here? Because she thought that I knew how it felt to be rejected by a boy?

She glances at my face.

"Oh, I didn't mean that like it sounded!" She protests miserably. "I just meant that you're older than me and you have more experience and it's happened to everyone at some point, right? I can't be the only one!" She shakes her head dishearteningly.

I bite my lip and try to figure out what to say. It's true that for awhile I had feelings for a certain boy…and he had never given me the time of day. But I couldn't really say anything about that now because said boy and I have slowly become friends, and now…well…I don't know what my feelings for him are anymore.

"Of course you're not the only one, Lily." I try to think of something else to say, but I can't think of anything that won't bring up memories of what had made her cry. She needs to tell me what happened on her own time, otherwise bring on the onslaught of tears.

"It's just that…." She trails off, looking away from me. "If I tell you a secret, will you swear not to tell anyone else?"

"I swear."

"Cousin swear?"

Being in such a tight knit family caused many of my family members to create many rituals and rules, which made us look more like a cult than ever. One of these things was the "cousin swear" in which the two cousins would shake hands, hug, do that strange muggle dance, the Macarena, and then hug and shake hands again. If one broke a cousin swear, they were subject to the many punishments and pranks that went along with the broken swear. It changed for each person, and the punishments depended on the crime, but soon everyone agreed that breaking a cousin swear was possibly one of the worst and humiliating things to do.

"If I must."

We shake, hug, dance, hug, and then shake again and Lily settles back on the ground, grabbing a pillow and wedging it between herself in the wall as she makes herself comfortable.

"I like someone. No, don't roll your eyes at me." She said in response to my facial expression. "I have to start from the beginning." Lily loves telling stories. "It started a few months back, with all the usual signs and symptoms. I would blush ferociously whenever he was near, I stumbled on my words, but I managed to flirt at the same time. You know how I do that thing with my hair? Anyway, he's off limits. Majorly off limits. As in, Albus would possibly kill me if he figured out I liked this guy."

I run through the list of who Albus hates in my head. It's not a long list; Al pretty much gets along with everyone. But to my frustration, everyone on that list was extremely unattractive; Lily would never fall for any of them. Or would she?

"…and then when we were talking today I made my move. I asked him to Hogsmeade. Not really though, he just mentioned that Al was going with some girl and he didn't have a date so I offered to go with him. And then Albus showed up and laughed at my proposition and said something along the lines of 'she's kidding, mate. Why would my little sister want to hang out with my best friend?' and I had to laugh along with him because Albus absolutely couldn't know that I liked him. And then I realized that I'll never have Al's blessing and I'm already really emotional so I made some lame excuse and I came in here and started crying. And once I started I couldn't stop." Her lower lip trembles as she finishes her story, and I pray that she won't begin to cry again.

Wait a minute….Al called this kid "mate", and wondered why Lily would want to hang out with is "best friend"….did Lily like…Hensley?

"Lily, do you like Hensley?"

She stares up at me guiltily.

"_Oh._" I say quietly.

"See? I'm so screwed! Hensley doesn't like me and Albus would take the mickey out of me if he ever found out! You made the cousin swear, you can't tell anyone!"

"Of course I'd never tell anyone, Lils, but I think you might be wrong on the Hensley front." I confide in her and watch as her eyes grow large with interest.

"What do you mean?"

I hesitate, wondering if Hensley would want me to repeat what he said to me at the Shrieking Shack. But when it comes down to it, family is first and if everything works out for the better Hensley will probably thank me.

"He likes you, Lily. He told me at the Shrieking Shack the other week. I tried to convince him to ask you out, but he's worried because you're taking your OWLs and he's leaving soon."

She stares at me wide-eyed, for a few moments. "But I don't _care_ about any of that!" She exclaims.

"Tell him that, not me."

She jumps up the second I say it.

"I will! Right now!" She rushes to the door but turns back, sees me watching her, and walks quickly back. "Thank you, Rose!" she hugs me tightly. "You're the best listener ever! And you're the best cousin too." She smiles winningly at me. "How do I look?"

If I hadn't watched her practically cry her eyes out, I wouldn't have even known she had. She looked beautiful.

"Fine, Lily." I nudge her. "Now go get him!"

She laughs and scans me for a moment. "There's something different about you, Rose. I just can't put my finger on it."

I open my mouth to reply but she cuts me off. "And no, it's not the hair."

I roll my eyes and point to the door, hoping she'll get the hint.

"I'm leaving…I'm leaving…before I chicken out! I love you!" She calls as she opens the door and hurries away, off to find her future boyfriend.

I sigh quietly, thinking over the events of the night in my head. I venture out the corridors and walk slowly down through the castle I call home, thinking about nothing in particular. I see a figure ahead of me, walking really slowly. It seems almost…painful.

It doesn't take my long to catch up to the mysterious figure. Turns out he's not so mysterious after all.

"Scorpius?" The minute I say his name, he straightens up and smiles blankly at me.

"Hi, Rose." He smiles again, but it comes out more of a grimace.

"Are you okay?" He ignores the question, avoiding my gaze.

"I got a letter from your uncle." He says with enthusiasm, his smile real now.

I look at him, studying him critically, trying to decide if this will be good news or bad news, but his facial expressions don't give anything away.

"And? What did it say?"

"I made it in. I should get a letter from the Academy in the next few days." He says proudly.

"Scorpius! That's wonderful!" I smile.

"Yeah." He flushes slightly, looking down at the ground.

I pull him in for a congratulatory hug, but as my arms wind around him, he hisses. I pull back immediately, and see that his face contorted in pain.

"Scorpius? Are you okay?" I ask, slightly hysterical.

And then Scorpius Malfoy faints in my arms.

* * *

**A/N: Cue the dramatic music! *Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn***

**So...what do you think? Dramatic enough for you? I really love writing this story. Still not sure how long it will be, but it definitely has many chpaters left in it. Maybe I'll actually be able to write a long story for once...wouldn't that be strange?**

**Oh and I changed the summary of the story because it seemed like the whole story was about their romance...which apparently it's not, now that I've written more and more chapters. Weird how things turn out differen than you anticipated them.**

**Anyways, I'm dying to know what you think about this chapter (as always). So feel free to send telepathic messages! Or reviews, they work too. But I think telepathic messages are cooler.**

**~wwccd**


	10. Chapter 10

The minute he had fallen, I opened my arms to catch him. He was heavy, and I almost crumpled to the ground under his dead weight. I had to levitate him to Madame Picoult in the hospital wing. Now I stood beside her as she slowly examined Scorpius, waiting to hear whether he would be okay.

"Miss Weasley, would you please hand me the small bottle with red liquid in it?" Madame Picoult asks me.

I search on top of the cluttered counter for the bottle matching her description as Scorpius lies before her, unmoving. The counter is so cluttered with bottles of every shape and size that I can't find the "small bottle with the red liquid anywhere". I frantically move the bottles around, almost knocking over some of them in the process.

"Miss Weasley, it's on the table right next to you."

I blush delicately as I notice the lone small bottle with red liquid in it sitting on the table and I hand it over to Madame Picoult.

"This will make him wake up. From then on it will be your job to keep him awake. He's going to need to stake awake for an hour or so while I administrate to his wounds and I've found that with many students it's helpful to have a friend with them." She looks at me meaningfully and I nod.

She opens his lips and places just a drop of the liquid on his tongue. I hold my breath as I wait for him to react, hoping that it's normal for the reviving process to usually take a few minutes. Soon enough, his body twitches and he blinks blearily.

I rush over to his side, grabbing his hand.

"Scorpius?" I can hear the fear in my own voice as I grasp his hand tightly.

"Rose?" He croaks. "What….happened?" He tries to get up and hisses with pain again.

"Mr. Malfoy I would advise you to sit still and tell me where it hurts, okay?" Madam Picoult orders him.

He nods weakly but manages to glance wearily at me and roll his eyes. I try to keep myself from smiling in relief: Scorpius is still himself. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"Do as she says." I whisper.

"Aw, Rose, are you worried about me?" He whispers, smiling delightedly at me.

I glare at him. "Just minutes ago you passed out in my arms, after telling me you got into the auror academy and then hissing in pain when I tried to hug you. I think I have the right to be worried."

"Absolutely." He smiles widely at me.

"Now, Mr. Malfoy, this might hurt a bit."

"Ah!"

I wince as I hear his sharp scream. He clutches my hand tightly and I watch as my knuckles turn white. Madame Picoult continues to prod at his toned stomach, and each time he squeezes his eyes shut, grasping my hand.

"Just as I thought. You seem to have broken a few ribs, Mr. Malfoy." She diagnoses him. "Do you remember what you might have done to obtain these injuries?"

I watch Scorpius's face as he closes it off. "Quidditch."

"Of course," Madame Picoult mutters something about 'stupid Quidditch players'. "Well, we'll just have to repair these then. It's going to be a bit painful."

Scorpius nods and she heads off to find the rib-repairing ointment.

"Liar." I whisper as soon as she's out of earshot.

"What?"

"You lied. You didn't even have Quidditch practice today." I say condescendingly.

"Wow, you've memorized my schedule?" He winks.

"I hang out with you all the time; I tend to pick up on it." I smile.

"If I tell you will you promise not to tell anyone?" He asks hesitantly.

"Who would I tell?" I tease.

"It was Vaisey and Zabini." He whispers to me. "They heard about me getting in to the auror academy and they weren't very happy. They didn't use any curses but—"

Scorpius breaks off as Madame Picoult brings some nasty looking green ointment to the table. I crinkle my nose at the nasty smelling stuff as she takes two fingers and begins to administer to his wounds. He grabs blindly for my hand and I slip my fingers through his again.

"I'm going to have to put this ointment on your ribs, Mr. Malfoy, and it might sting a bit. Then I'm going to have you take this potion, it will help with the inside repairing of your ribs. The ointment will only help the broken skin."

Soon, the treatment is complete.

"Keep him awake for another half an hour, Ms. Weasley. Then I will come back and see to it that he goes to sleep. He seems to have been through quite an ordeal."

I nod as she walks away. Again as soon as I'm sure she can't hear us, I turn back to Scorpius.

"They did _what?_"

"Rose, don't make a big deal out of this, I can handle myself."

"That's bullying Scorpius! They could be expelled something could be done about this!"

"Rose, I don't need anything to be done about this." Scorpius says determinedly. "I'm trying to make it through this year without disturbing anyone. I don't want to do anything that could put my position with the academy in jeopardy. It was just some idiots who want to make my life miserable because I'm going to become an auror and they're not. Relax. It's two months."

I study him but soon see the amount of stubbornness in his eyes that assures me that he will not budge. He's not going to let me tell anyone about this.

"I think you're being ridiculous." I tell him.

"You can think whatever you want; don't tell anyone."

I stare into his eyes, looking through his tough façade to see the pleading emotion in their hidden depths. He just wanted to be like everyone else.

"Who would I tell?" I whisper, holding his gaze.

"Mr. Malfoy, I think it's time that you go to sleep."

"Can Rose stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?" He looks up at her pleadingly.

She smiles fondly at him; I swear he has the strangest effects on people.

"Close your eyes Mr. Malfoy, you'll be asleep in minutes. Miss Weasley may stay if she wants."

He complies immediately but doesn't loosen his hold on my hand, basically giving me no choice in the matter. I was staying with him.

Madame Picoult walked back into her office and Scorpius's eyes opened again.

"I can't sleep."

I rolled my eyes at his childishness. And then got an idea. It had been so long since I had had the opportunity to sing someone to sleep, and now that I had the opportunity. I didn't want to waste it."

"I'll sing you to sleep." I whisper. "I used to sing Hugo to sleep."

I avoid his eyes as I clear my throat. "Close your eyes first." He complies and I begin to sing.

_Starlight, starbright,_

_All day, all night_

_I will be right next to you_

_Here forever_

_I will never leave_

_I will never leave_

I continue to repeat the chorus of Hugo's favourite lullaby and I soon hear his breath begin to even out, his hold on my hand relaxes and I can only assume he's fallen asleep, just like Hughie used to when he was younger. Scorpius looks so innocent when he's asleep. He doesn't look like the bitter young teenager he's grown up to be, hidden beneath his 'everybody's friend' façade. He looks peaceful and I feel happy as I continue to sing the song, again and again, feeling my vocal chords rejoice in their use again.

My breathing becomes labored as I continue to sing, quietly, so as not to alert Madame Picoult that I'm still here.

"You used to sing that song to me."

I look up at the sudden voice, halting my singing, and see my brother Hugo staring at me strangely.

"Yes, I did. Whenever Mum and Dad were fighting." I smiled fondly at the memory. "It was the only way to get you to sleep."

"I remember." Hugo says smiling sadly at me. "You…um…" he breaks off leaving an uncomfortable silence. "You're a good sister Rose." He whispers, staring at Scorpius instead of at me.

I stare at him, unshed tears filling my eyes. I feel so touched. Hugo and I are a lot closer at home than we are during the school year, due to him having a social life. I love him dearly and i miss his company throughout the school year, but I understand. Sometimes in life you just have to let things be. He's a great younger brother.

"Thank you," I say, my voice cracking.

"That's why I have to tell you this, Rose." He tears his gaze from Scorpius and stares at me intently.

"What's wrong, Hugh?" I ask, catching on to his serious tone.

"It's Lily. She's playing you like a marionette." He says scornfully, looking at Scorpius. "Lily's the reason that Scorpius is talking to you."

I stare at him, completely confounded.

"Rose, listen to me. Lily and Scorpius got in a fight. She hexed him again, I don't think you were there, and then he felt really bad about it later, so he asked what he could do to make it up to her. She wanted him to talk to you. Said he was the only one who could talk some sense into you, seeing as you loved him and all. He's only been paying attention to you because she asked him to." Hugo finished nervously. "I'm sorry, Rose. I just…thought you should know. Lily's been blackmailing me not to tell, but I can't do it anymore. I don't care if everyone finds out that I like Tallie Chapman."

I let my hand fall from Scorpius's cold one. He didn't like me at all. Of course, I should have seen this coming. Why would someone with so much charisma, so much life, so much promise want to hang out with me, the shy girl who hangs in the back of the classroom, never living up to her full potential? Lily. Lily would do this. Lily is a little interfering wench. Did she really think she had the right to go meddling in my life? To meddle with my _feelings_?

I thought…I thought Scorpius had liked me. He wanted to hang out with me! He hung out with me every day! We were rarely ever apart and he confided his secrets to me! Had it all been some kind of vicious lie?

I feel like I've been betrayed. But by whom, really, have I been betrayed? I've been betrayed by my own family. My own flesh and blood. The people who are supposed to be there for you no matter what. Who does something like that? It's sickening.

My mind flashes back quickly: the whispered conversations Lily had in the halls with Scorpius, she repeatedly pointing at me. It all made sense now. How could I have not seen it before?

I was always there for Lily and here she was trying to mold me into the person that she wanted me to be. The new haircut, the new clothes, it all fell into place now. What sort of teenage boy would randomly ask me if I wanted a haircut? One that was working for Lily.

Did he know how I felt about him? Was he enjoying this is some kind of twisted way?

"Rose? Rose are you alright?" Hugo asks frantically, waving his hand in front of my face.

"Fine, Hugo, I'm fine. I suppose I should have expected this." I say in a controlled voice. I won't let him know how much this has hurt me. I can't even believe this is happening.

If Scorpius wasn't already in the hospital wing, I'd want to put him in here. I want revenge on Lily, I want…hell I want revenge. Lily wanted to see the real Rose Weasley? She wanted someone emotional and passionate? She was about to get her.

"I'll see you later, Hugo." I say, exiting the hospital wing with a swish of my cloak, not even glancing back at the sleeping boy behind me.

Things were about to get messy.

* * *

**A/N: Oohh my chapters are starting into the double digits! This is so exciting! :)**

**So...were any of you expecting that? Does anyone even remember my tiny mention of their hallway conversations? Hmm? Are you on the edge of your seat waiting for what's next? Let me know!**

**I love you all, thank you so much for your reviews. I'm so pleased that you seem to be enjoying this story, I know I'm love writing it.**

**Let me know what you think-a-dink!**

**~wwccd**


	11. Chapter 11

That conniving, evil, diabolical little wench! She thinks she can interfere with my life? I'm not her problem! I'm not her little case to solve! There isn't any conceivable reason as to why she might think that! I was doing just fine until she came along and shoved Scorpius in my face! Sure, I enjoyed his company, but I can do just fine on my own. I don't need my little cousin to make my friends for me.

And Scorpius! I thought he actually cared! He proved himself to be quite the actor, really. I should have seen that he was just playing me the way he played everybody else. I'm so….incredibly stupid. For someone who prides herself on being observant, I obviously missed everything.

I slam myself onto my bed in the dormitory, covering my face with my hands. Everyone else had already left, it was almost noon and they were sure to be heading to lunch. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. So I get out my notebook and quill and ink bottle and I write. I write so quickly that the ink smears on the parchment, running down onto my hands. The words pop into my brain in an everlasting train and as soon as I think them, they are copied down to the parchment. I can barely even breathe.

The words are indistinguishable, the smearing of the ink protecting my awful thoughts from the prying eyes of anyone who would try to glance at them. Soon tears begin streaming down my face and I refuse to wipe them, letting them fall from my face and onto the parchment, smearing the ink even more.

I take a few deep breaths to steady myself and wipe the tears from my eyes. This inadvertently causes the ink on my hands to seep onto my face, mixing with the fresh tears. I silently thank Merlin that none of my dorm mates are here and sneak over to the showers.

The water is scalding as I step inside, scrubbing the ink from my skin, feeling the familiar pitter pat of the water slamming against my body. Fresh tears come as they mix with the water and I bury myself into the stream of water, trying to calm myself.

I stand there for what seems like hours before I take a few more calming breaths and step out of the shower.

I pat myself dry and turn to catch my reflection in the steamy mirror. For the first time since my haircut, I feel a sad longing for my old hair. I pick up the limp ends scornfully—who was I to think that I could change? Who was I to cut my hair, to talk to people, to sing to _him_? I reach for my wand and mutter a hair lengthening charm, watching as my auburn hair returns to its original length. Take that, Lily. Try and change me now.

I step back into my dormitory, throwing aside all of the new "fabulous" clothing that Lily helped me buy in Hogsmeade as I reach to the bottom of my trunk and pull out a pair of ratty, comfortable pajamas. I throw my hair back with a ribbon and grab my red notebook from my bed. I tear out the piece of parchment that I had decimated with my tears and ink, and burn it.

I watch the parchment turn black and begin to shrivel up as the red orange light slowly gobbled the entire piece of parchment. I throw it into the wastebasket as the last of the paper was burning, and douse it with water as the dormitory begins to lightly stink of smoke.

I pull a fresh quill from a new pack my mum gave me, it's eagle with a nice pointed tip, and I dip it delicately into a fresh bottle of ink. I twist and turn it around, watching, mesmerized, by the turning of the feather. I pull the quill out of the bottle and hesitate on the top of the blank piece of parchment. It makes just a small dot as I try to gather my words.

What should I write? And then, suddenly, the words all come to me at once, floating through my mind, pestering me to write them down. And so I do.

_My Dearest Cousin Lily,_

_As much as I appreciate your love and care, I have simply had enough of your interfering with my life. I am not one of your dollies that you can dress up and make up, and do her hair, and make her walk and talk. I am a person. A person with feelings. A fact that you seem to forget every time ou try to meddle in my life. Hugo told me everything, so don't you even try to deny it. It makes me sick to even think of you._

_You blackmailed my brother, but he told me anyway. You tried to make my own brother turn a blind eye to the fact that you were playing with my feelings. I can't believe you coerced Scorpius into trying to change me. You knew how I felt about him! Now I have to sit here and wonder whether everything he ever did was because of you. Did he talk to me at your suggestion? Did he smile at me because you told him to? Did he laugh and share secrets with me because you thought that would be best? _

_Was this all just some ploy to get Scorpius for yourself? I don't know what you're capable of anymore, Lily, if you're capable of doing this to your own flesh and blood. I don't know if I can trust you again, and that scares me, deep down into my core. _

_I don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't want to hear anymore of your problems. At least, not for awhile whilst I try to wrap my mind around this. Frankly, I don't want to see you either, but it will probably be inevitable as this castle seems to shrink as soon as you begin to avoid people. _

_So this is the passionate me you asked for, though perhaps you have a different definition of passionate. You want me screaming at the world, telling them everything, telling them about how much I feel. But I just don't work that way. I can't do that because I'm not like you, Lily. Or anyone else in the family. I do things my own way. You can't change me, even though you tried. I'm my own person with my own opinions and my own personality and my own thoughts. I don't __want__ to be you, any of you. I want to be myself. I would greatly appreciate it if you would just let me be. _

_Leave me alone, Lily. I'll come to you when I want to._

_Passionately,_

_Rose_

I inhale deeply to steady my shaking hand and glance over the letter a few times to proofread it. Then I throw on a cloak and fold the letter, grasping it tightly in my hand as I exit my dormitory with quick speed. The sooner I send this letter, the less of a chance that I will have second thoughts before sending it. I pass faceless people in the halls, they blur together in a sea of black robes. People that don't care about me, people that I don't care about. So many people.

I climb the stairs to the Owlery and ignore the young boy off in a corner, writing a letter as I whistle for Calista. She flutters toward me and I give her a quick treat. She devours it quickly and I give her the letter. "Lily" I whisper.

If an owl could look confused, I know Calista would be looking at me like that right now. It's rare that I ever give her a letter to deliver inside the castle because I see the people here so often and would normally have no reason to send them a letter. I just couldn't think of another way to convey everything I wanted to Lily.

I give Calista a quick nudge and she flies away, making one loop in the sky and then heading off in the direction of the Gryffindor dormitories. Now it's only a matter of time.

I sigh and then leave the Owlery, deciding to head towards the library. I know I can't stay sequestered forever.

I open the library doors and glance around, trying to see if a certain blond head was anywhere to be found. He wasn't, so I took a seat a table on the opposite side of the room from where we usually sat, and took out my notebook, beginning to write.

It seemed like I had just sat down when a person plopped themselves down in the seat across from me. I didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

"Rose is that you? You grew your hair out long again!" He was probably smiling, I wouldn't know because I refused to look at him. After a few moments of silence, he tried again.

"Hey, Rose. I never got the chance to thank you for saving me. Or at least not letting me fall to the ground and crack my head open." His familiar voice is easygoing, and I realise that I never had the opportunity to mail him a letter. Now that I think about it, I don't think I would. If he really wanted to know that badly, he could have discovered another way to figure it out, like talking to Lily.

I ignore him and continue to write, determinedly trying to not looka t him. If I look at him just once this whole charade could be up.

Suddenly I heard the library doors open with a whoosh, and the pitter patter of footsteps went directly to our table. I risked a glance up to see Lily, her hair in disarray, her eyes ringed with read and unshed tears in her eyes making her way over to us.

I felt incredibly angry. How dare she show up here? If she tries to talk to me, I don't know what I'll do. I finger my wand, just in case. Instead she only glances at me as she approaches us. I see a crinkled piece of parchment in her hands with my script all over it.

"Scorpius." She whispers, ignoring me.

I take the opportunity to close my notebook and pack up my things, silently happy that Lily had created such a diversion.

"Lily? What's wrong?" He sounded concerned, I decided scornfully.

Of course he would be concerned for her.

I grab my bag forcefully from the ground and pull myself up, stalking away from the two people who deceived me.

"Rose? What's going on?" his voice cracks a little and I feel myself give in.

The moment I look back, I wish I hadn't. He looks terribly confused, and Lily won't even look at me. His head swivels between the two of us as I turn around again, forcing myself to leave. With each step, my heart breaks a little more.

Oh how I wish I hadn't been so trusting.

* * *

**A/N: Hello there, lovies :) Thank you all so much for your wondrous reviews! **

**I know you guys were probably all expecting Rose to yell and scream and pout, but honestly I just couldn't see her doing that. Not yet, anyway. It's just not in her nature. She had a whole rant a few chapters ago about how much she hated yelling and screaming and how much she liked writing, so I found this solution more appropriate. But don't worry...the drama continues!**

**Let me know your thoughts, **

**~wwccd**


	12. Chapter 12

I had quite forgotten what loneliness felt like, but I suppose it's nice to have a reminder.

If I thought I was lonely before, nothing could have prepared me for this. The list that I had so laughingly kept before of how many people I spoke to has diminished incredibly. I don't think I have talked to anyone but my professors in days. I've been avoiding pretty much everyone.

It wasn't that difficult to return to the pattern that I had so desperately clung to before: talk to no one, study during free time, and spend most of my life in the library or my dormitory. But something is significantly lacking in my life now: conversation. I never thought I would see the day when I would miss speaking, but here it is. Maybe it's not so much actually speaking but the people with whom I spoke.

I have been avoiding everyone- my family, the people who I used to call my friends, just everyone. Every time I see Lily in the halls, I duck into another corridor or find some way to blend in with the crowd. I don't want to see her, even though it seems as if she's always looking for me. I've been avoiding Scorpius too, but he makes it easy.

Scorpius has been avoiding me too. I'm not quite certain whether he was forced to leave me alone (I wouldn't put it past Hugo) or because he simply has no desire to see me, but either way I have not seen or heard of Scorpius Malfoy for the last couple of days. Not that I have any burning desire to see the boy anyway; even the mere thought of him makes my face flush and my stomach churn, but it's difficult to suddenly not be in the company of a person that you had grown so accustomed to spending time with.

In short, I might just possibly miss him. It was kind of…nice to have him around. Well, until I realized that he definitely did not genuinely care about me. He kind of ruined everything with that little fact. I had even begun to sing to him! Perhaps it was a good thing that his intentions turned out to be bad, now I've learned a very important lesson: things are never as they seem.

But I just can't seem to bring myself to tell anybody. Well, anybody who doesn't already know or hasn't already figured it out, that is. I have my suspicions that the Hogwarts rumor mill has started churning out some outlandish things once they realized that Scorpius and I were no longer attached at the hip.

I would probably be curious too, if it wasn't my social life that they were all curious about.

It seems that all my thoughts keep going around in circles: I miss Scorpius, I hate Scorpius, I want to talk to him—to hear his side of the story, but I'm so disgusted with myself for falling into his trap that I cannot bear to look at him.

This morning I decided to rejoin most of my classmates in the Great Hall for breakfast, something I haven't done in days. I've gotten annoyed with eating by myself in the kitchens for days on end. It involves eating at strange times during the days, and remaining completely secluded from people entirely. Something that's hard to do when I need to write and I need inspiration.

"Morning, Rose."

I turn my head to see Al sit down beside me and begin to fill his plate up with food.

I study him for a few moments, trying to figure just what he's doing. Al and I used to be really close, especially when we were younger. We are the same age, so our parents seemed to think that that was enough of a friendship prerequisite to force us together. I quite enjoy Al's company, but it's something that I had grown so used to not having that this surprised me.

I see Al glance over at me from the corner of his eye.

"Don't overanalyze this, Rosie."

I almost hold back a chuckle. I had forgotten that Al had once been the person who knew me like the back of his hand. He had to, since we spent so much time together. He could easily be the one person in the world who knew me best.

"I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it." He chuckles at his own joke. He knows my feelings on talking. He used to know my feelings on practically everything; I used to talk to him more. I suddenly miss Al's company more than I have in the past few years. I miss the stability his friendship gave me; I always knew where Al would be and that he would help me in an instant.

"Not particularly." I agree with him, twirling my fork around my plate, deciding to talk to someone finally.

Al smiles a little, the corner of his mouth lifting up into a somewhat half smile.

"So you're talking." This time he full on grins at me, raising his eyebrows. "Good. Mum says it's not good for you to bottle your feelings up."

"I wrote a letter."

He winces. "Nasty letter."

"Oh did you have the chance to read it?" I knew Lily would be parading it around to the rest of the family and her friends, begging them to hear her side of the story and see what a completely awful person I was. Perhaps this was just another fight for her to win.

"Your anger was so eloquently put." He inclines his head toward me. "But isn't it easier just to yell?"

He is genuinely curious. He's never understood why I chose to be silent. He calls it my 'vow of silence' or something equally as ridiculous.

"No. I've found that when you yell your anger escalates and you tend to say some horrible things."

"What about the letter? Didn't you say some bad things in there?" He queries, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Every single thing I put in that letter, I meant. At the time, that is. Everything I put in that letter I wanted your sister to know. I didn't say anything I didn't want to."

Al puts on his thinking face. His eyes go all squinty, his eyebrows furrow even more and his bottom lip protrudes just a little bit as he stares off into the distance to consider my words.

"Wait. This doesn't have anything to do with that one fight with your parents when…." He trails off.

"No." I say curtly, turning my head away from Al's penetrating gaze.

"Yes it does!"

"Leave. It. Alone. Albus."

"Full name, I see how it is." He nods, turning his head away from me to glance at the table where Lily sat.

I follow his gaze and look at her, really look at her, for the first time in days. She looks awful. Completely awful, honestly. It seems she forgotten what beauty charms are, she throws her clothes on half heartedly, not even glancing to see if the outfit looks put together, her eyes are always rimmed with red, and she hasn't been speaking. It's a big deal for Lily not to speak, because she always talks so loudly, trying to gain the attention from everyone around her.

"I've been avoiding her." Albus says, stabbing his food with his fork for extra emphasis.

I take the time to really look at Albus now. His hair is disheveled, even more so than usual, and he has the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes.

"You shouldn't avoid her little sister."

"I can't stand to look at her." His voice breaks and he runs a hand through his hair tiredly. "I can't even stand to look at my own sister. I can't even believe we're related." He shakes his head.

"I'll get over it eventually, Al." I lie easily, trying to assuage his…whatever it is he's feeling. "Don't avoid her on my account."

He smiles sadly at me. "I used to think you were kind of barmy, no offense. I thought that you were overreacting about this whole family-is-obnoxious-and-overbearing thing, but you weren't. Merlin, Rose, you come off as such a pushover because you don't talk and you're quiet, but you're not. I'm the fucking pushover. You're the one who always stands by what she thinks." He sighs deeply, putting his head in his hands.

"What do you mean, Al?" I whisper.

"I mean that one of these days my little sister is going to catch up to me and cry and give me her bloody puppy dog eyes and I'm going to give into her." He avoids my gaze delicately as he's saying this, but I already knew this would be true.

No matter how irritated you are with a family member, you forgive them, that's how it is in our family. We believe that there are so many more important things to be worried about. There are so many outside forces that can tear you down, there's no reason to have inside forces ready to destroy you too.

"I understand, Al."

"I know." He whispers. "I just wish I could be a better friend."

I smile sadly at him. "Is that what we are? I thought our bond went deeper than that."

He bumps my shoulder lightly with is.

"A better cousin."

"Well, I still think you're a pretty great cousin. Like I said, eventually it will all blow over."

This time he rolls his eyes. "No one can hold a grudge like you can, Rose."

"Same to you."

We laugh lightly at our little inside joke. Albus can't hold a grudge to save his life. That's another reason why I knew that Al's time beside me was limited. There's only so much time you can hold a grudge against your little sister.

"There's just one thing though." He says hesitantly.

I silently sit, allowing him to continue.

"And I haven't talked to Lily yet, but I still can't see Scorpius doing anything like that. Maybe Lily, to get something she wanted. But Scorpius? It's just hard to believe he would do that."

I consider this for a few moments. "The things people can do will surprise you."

"Well, yeah. I know that. It's just that he spent so much time with you and you didn't realise it? You're so good at picking up when people are faking things! And then not one of the rest of the family members felt something weird about him? In your books, doesn't at least one person feel something off about the bad guy? Like…what do you call it? Shadow something?"

"Foreshadowing." I correct him.

"Right. Wouldn't something like that have happened?"

My thoughts are beginning to swirl out of my control. Why didn't I pick up on Scorpius's fakeness? Why didn't I realise that something was off about him? If I pride myself in being observant, I shoud have realized something! And what, really, are the odds that nobody else realized?

"I have to go." I say, standing up.

"Library?"

I let a small smile grace my lips again. He knows me so well.

"I'll see you later…?" I trail off, letting him call the shots.

He nods once. "I'll put off talking to Lily until you've done you research."

I give him another smile, feeling my lips stretch widely for the first time in days. It's nice to be able to show a happy emotion again. "I'll see you at dinner."

I grab my bag and start rushing through the halls. I stop short as I hear a strange noise reverberating through the halls. It sounds like…smacking? I follow the noise, desperate to figure out what is going on when I suddenly halt at the beginning of the deserted charms corridor.

Two boys, so tall and strong they look like men, are beating the living hell out of a third boy on the floor, as I look a little more closely I recognize the boy on the floor. It's Scorpius Malfoy.

* * *

**A/N: Dun dun dunnnnnnnn! **

**Okay so last chapter wasn't supposed to be a cliffy, but apparently you all felt it was. And then I wasn't going to do a cliffy for this chapter, but again the idea just popped into my head and so now it is! **

**You guys are so incredibly edibly amazing! Some of your reviews even made me tear up! (How pathetic is that?) Thank you all for your amazing support of this story, I love hearing everything you have to say on it! By the way, I do believe that I was offered half a box of virutal cookies for an update...I do think that I will collect that now :)**

**Okay enough of my bumbled rambling! Let me know what you think, lovies!**

**~wwccd**


	13. Chapter 13

I've never been to a point of such emotion that I cannot think of the words to describe what I was feeling. Words come as a second nature to me, winding through the crevices of my brain, nestling themselves into the contours of my thoughts, pestering me until I either speak them aloud or write them down.

But I can safely say that as I watched Scorpius Malfoy get beaten to a pulp in front of me, I was completely speechless. I had stood, frozen, like I had been petrificus totalused as I watched punch after punch, smack after smack, kick after kick. I had stood by and done nothing.

I toss over in my bed, fluff my pillow, and rearrange myself again. Every time I close my eyes, the scene plays in my mind like a nightmare.

_There I stood, watching those vile boys, Vaisey and Zabini, hurting my one-friend, when suddenly there were footsteps, pounding and even, like the person was running in our direction. Vaisey and Zabini, froze, and then disillusioned Scorpius with a swipe of a wand. They fled the corridor quickly. Within a moment, the footsteps stopped and the panting began._

_It was Lily. She was running, tears streaming down her face as she gasped for breath. She stopped and crumpled to the floor, hugging her arms around her as she continued to cry._

_Now I was even more confused. Who was Lily running from? _

_My mind seemed to jolt back into gear and I waved my wand quietly, muttering the incantation that would reveal Scorpius. His body slowly reappeared, he moaned a little and then he saw me. His grey blue eyes looked at up at me with a tortured kind of despair. He stared at me for a few seconds as if he couldn't quite believe that I was standing right in front of him. _

"_Ro.s...e." he mumbled, his eyes begging me to come over to him._

_Lily jumped, and stared in shock at the boy behind her._

"_Scorpius? What on earth? Who did this to you?"_

_His eyes flickered to her, but immediately he looked at me again. "Ro…." He gasped for breath again, wincing at his attempt to talk._

_Lily frowned from her concerned place above him, wiping the tears from her eyes._

"_I'm not Rose. I'm Lily! Lily!" She said desperately, her voice cracking as she wiped his hair out of his eyes and off his bloody forehead. "Who did this to you?"_

_More footsteps now, just as hurried as Lily's. I quickly waved my wand over myself, disillusioning my body. It didn't take long for the next person to join us in this already crowded hallway. _

"_Darren! Help me move Scorpius! We need to get him to the Hospital Wing!" Lily exclaims, clutching her boyfriend's arm._

_Hensley immediately levitated Scorpius's body into the air and Scorpius tried one last time to say my name but is shushed by Lily. _

"_Shhh. Rose will come soon…she'll be there when you wake up. Just close your eyes. " Lily whispers to him consolingly._

"_Lily…." Hensley says in warning tone, but she just waved her hand to dismiss his comment and they tottered down the hall towards the Hospital Wing._

I had stood, practically rooted in my place as she made promises that she couldn't keep. Why would I want to be anywhere near the pair of them? They had betrayed me—the people that I thought were my good friends.

I try to close my eyes again but I saw his body, lifeless, being levitated away from me.

I sigh heavily and draw the curtain around my bed, throwing on my trainers. I throw up my hair and grab a book, my wand and I quietly tried to exit the dormitory.

"Rose?"

I stopped, looking back to see Matilda, her face shadowed by the light of the moon.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"Did you find out who they were talking about?"

I stood, pondering quietly what on earth she meant. I hadn't talked to Matilda since Hogsmeade, she had seemed to be avoiding me for some reason and now she wanted to carry on a conversation in the middle of the night, like nothing was wrong.

"What?"

"The boys in the bathroom. They were talking about Malfoy." Matilda whispers avidly, trying to gain my attention.

I remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

"People say things in front of me, Rose. I'm quiet and invisible. You try to be invisible but everybody knows who you are anyway, you're Rose Weasley. Nobody knows who I am, so what do they care if they say horrible things in front of me? I thought you should know about it though. You're friends with him and all."

"We're not friends anymore." I say coldly.

"Friendship just doesn't disappear when one decides it does. True friendship winds itself so deep inside your heart that you can't tear it out, no matter how you try. It's like a loose thread in a sweater. You try to tear it out, but it only scrunches up the sweater. When you try to tear out friendship from your heart, your heart just constricts in pain. I always try to smooth out the sweater when I do that, don't you?" She questions mildly.

Then she looks me right in the eye. "There are two sides to every story. You have yours. You need his." And then after the longest speech that I've ever heard her give in her years at school, Matilda turns around and goes back to bed.

I watch the blue curtain fall behind her, probably looking like I had just gotten hit with a bludger. Had Matilda just said all of that or was I hallucinating due to lack of sleep? I stare for a few more minutes at the blue fabric and I realise something terrible.

I decided at a young age that I would never assume. Assuming leads to multiple mistakes and pain, it always ends in pain and isn't that what I'm in now? I assumed that everything thtat Hugo told me was true, I assumed that I knew everything that was going on in Lily and Scorpius's heads. I assumed too much, and maybe that was my fault.

Albus's words are ringing in my head. _Wouldn't somebody have noticed if he was fake? _Wouldn't I have noticed? Is it possible that….Scorpius actually cared? That maybe this whole thing wasn't for some bet or whatever it was that Lily called it…wait. I can't get my hopes up. I can't…I just can't. But I will hear them out.

And then I leave the dormitory and I know exactly where I'm going.

* * *

I've never had a favourite colour.

Honestly, I've always had a preference for sky blue, but I've never declared a favourite colour for myself, even as a kid. I had too much difficulty deciding and once I had actually decided, I felt bad about all the other colours for showing a preference, even though I had nothing against them.

So, now that I've established the fact that I've never had a favourite colour, I can safely say that I've decided on a least favourite colour. I'm sitting in the Hospital Wing, curled up in a chair, my feet underneath me as I distractedly hold a book in my hands. The light is streaing through the window and I have acquired a crick in my neck from sitting attempting to sleep in this chair. I've been here a long while and I've been attempting to read all afternoon, but my book just isn't holding my attention the way it should. My eyes keep straying to the unmoving body in the cot beside me.

Everything in here is white. White curtains, white bed sheets, white everything. White is decidedly my least favourite colour.

He's lying there, covered in white—and if everything hadn't happened, I would have thought he was an angel. The blood is gone, his eyes are closed, and he looks innocently peaceful in his slumber.

"Rose?"

I stiffen and turn my head and nod curtly at Lily, armed with flowers, looking at me hesitantly.

"Lily." I nod to her and she gasps at me.

"You spoke to me!" She smiles in delight but it fades as soon as it appeared on her face. "I mean…uh…"

Her hazel eyes look at me imploringly and she bites her lip. "You're here for Scorpius?"

I stare listlessly at the boy in front of me. "I don't know why I'm here." I whisper.

She takes the seat beside me, setting the flowers on the floor. She twists her hands in her lap until her knuckles turn white and I enjoy her fidgeting silently. She deserves to feel a little awkward at least.

"I should explain."

I acknowledge her comment only by blinking.

"Rose, you're my cousin and I love you. Scorpius came to me because he was interested in you, fascinated by you for some reason—he wouldn't tell me—and he was _intimidated _by you! Can you imagine, Rosie? Only you would intimidate Scorpius Malfoy! Hugo was right. Scorpius did owe me a favour, but Hugo was also wrong. I asked Scorpius to plan the idea in Albus's head that Hensley and I would be a good couple. The favour that Scorpius owed me didn't have anything to do with you!" She took a deep breath. "I didn't try to change you, Rose. I know that's how it looked. I was thrilled when you came up with the idea of cutting your hair short. I suggested the haircut to Scorpius, I didn't think he'd actually say anything about it, but I only suggested it to him! I thought you short hair looked fab! I was ecstatic that you wanted to go clothes shopping—"

I snort and disbelief and Lily giggles a little.

"Alright, I forced you clothes shopping, Rose. But you enjoyed the results, right? I love you Rose. You are a great cousin."

My eyes begin to water embarrassingly.

It was all just a misunderstanding—of course. Everything that I was worrying about, losing sleep over, stressing out about was all a misunderstanding. It's strange how often that happens, how just a little communication could change everything.

"How is he?" I ask.

"He's going to be fine. He'll be out for awhile, but ultimately he'll be fine. I don't know what happened to him," her voice quivered, "it was awful."

I sigh quietly, and watch as Scorpius breathes evenly in his deep sleep.

"He called out for you. I found him, battered and bloody in an empty corridor and he was calling for you. He kept saying your name." Lily whispers beside me. "You should hear him out too. I know he wants to talk to you."

I nod and grip my book, deciding to go back to reading, but Lily stands up and I can't help but to look at her curiously.

"I was going to stay with him, but you're here. You're all he needs."

I open my mouth to contradict that statement, but Lily gives me a quick hug and practically runs out of the Hospital Wing.

I see the bouquet of flowers that she left on the floor and I pick them up gently, fingering the velvety petals of the flowers and I smile to myself.

They're red roses.

* * *

**A/N: Heh. Hi :) *ducks head ashamedly*. I know it's been a long time...heh...and I have a million excuses, but I won't bore you with them. I've rewritten this chapter about a thousand times and I've never actually been satisfied with the final product.**

**Sigh. **

**Anyway, let me know what you think of it. The anticlimactic resolution to the cliffie from the previous chapter, I mean. Grrr. **

**Next chapter might, possibly involve Scorpius *hint hint* ;)**

**I love you guys, and I hope that you're not giving up on this story just because I didn't update for awhile, that would be awfully sad.**

**~wwccd**


	14. Chapter 14

The constant, steady pounding of rain sounded like a drum.

The hospital wing remained decorated in white, and I could barely stand the sterile atmosphere and the disgusting smell of medicine that coated the room. I had spent so much time in there the past few weeks that I had walked around the halls reeking of smelly potions and lotions, warranting strange looks from people.

The rainy weather seemed to correlate with my crummy mood. Scorpius still hadn't woken up and I spent almost every waking moment beside his white cot, waiting for him to show signs of life. Madame Picoult was certain that he would be up soon, but I don't think she was fully aware of what happened to him. She seemed to be under the impression at Scorpius had a really awful fall during Quidditch practice.

How falling off a broom produces black eyes, broken ribs, and countless scratches continues to mystify me, but I think Hensley told her that Scorpius fell int a tree on the way down. It wouldn't be the first time.

I set my bag down on the spare chair beside Scorpius's cot and throw myself down on the other, more comfortable chair, and pull out my tattered red notebook, ready to write down the day's events. I had been doing it a lot recently, it was almost like keeping a diary. Subconsciously I think I just wanted Scorpius to know what was going on with me while he was completely out of it.

"Rose?"

I jolt, my quill making a long, dark mark across the blank parchment as I stare up into the grey-blue eyes of Scorpius Malfoy.I stare at him listlessly, determined to commit ever single speck of those grey-blue eyes to memory. For a while I had wondered if he would ever wake up, if I would ever see those beautiful eyes again.

"When Madame Picoult told me a pretty redhead came to sit by my side every day, I thought she was talking about Lily." He smiles childishly and blushes a little bit. "Was it you?"

I nod slightly.

"Did you leave me the roses too?"He asks excitedly, pointing to a delicate vase on his bedside table that was filled with red roses.

I shake my head. "Lily." I mouth to him.

"Merlin, Rose, I'm so sorry! I don't know what Hugo told you, but I didn't do anything to hurt you! I wouldn't! I just..." He runs a hand quickly through his stringy blond hair, "...it's a long story." He admits in a low voice. His grey-blue eyes are shining at me with what seems like regret.

I study him for a few minutes, he looks like he hasn't slept in days,though I know through my own good authority that he's been out cold. His bruises are yellowing, almost gone, but he has dark bags under his eyes an his body looks frail, weak. He doesn't look like the Scorpius I knew so well a couple weeks ago. It's strange how a few weeks change everything.

I feel a lump settling itself in my throat, the threat of unshed tears making itself known to me.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" I whisper cautiously, finally ready to hear his side of the story. Matilda's advice was starting to make sense to me. I needed to hear him out, I needed to, for the meantime, give him the benefit of the doubt before I went along judging him. I may not be exactly ecstatic to do so, but it's something that has to be done.

He breathes deeply, expelling air in a big gust as he sighs and presumably tries to decide where to start.

"Alright. Fair enough. The beginning. Hell I don't know where the beginning is."

He smiles slightly,looking out the window and chuckles to himself, then pats the space on the cot beside him. "Sit up here with me. It's quite a long story, you may as well be comfortable."

I shakily stand up and sit next to him on the cot, painstakingly aware of how close his thigh is to my own.

"Did you know that you always have ink somewhere on your body?" He asks, chuckling. "Sometimes it's the side of your hand," he grazes said skin with the side of his hand, "sometimes it's your cheek," his hand moves to my cheek and I feel as if my skin is on fire with his touch. "One time you even had ink on your leg. Merlin only knows how you got it there." He laughs lightly, skimming the length of my calf with his calloused hands.

"I guess that's when I really saw you. That one day that you had blue ink your leg. I was arguing with Lily about how the Chudley Canons were going to slaughter the Holyhead Harpies during that week's game, and then she called you over. You looked exhausted, like you were struggling to remain standing and you had an ink stain on your leg." Scorpius shakes his head and smiles at me good naturedly.

"And I kept thinking, 'What is she writing all the time?' that's literally the only thing that was running through my mind while Lily kept prattling on about exit strategies and you kept standing there like you wanted to be anywhere else. And I decided right then and there that I would learn more about you. But you're so bloody intimidating! I had to beg Lily to tell me what you were interested in so that I could strike up a conversation with you! I talk to so many people, but I couldn't talk to you, Rose. I just couldn't. "

I stare at him in disbelief as Scorpius Malfoy confesses his interest in me. Quiet, reserved, happily alone (until he came along) me. Could this get any weirder?

Scorpius shakes his had a little, but he still hasn't moved his warm hand from my calf.

"Do you remember that one night when Lily was trying to convince you to go to that one party in the Slytherin common room?"

I nod slightly, interested in what his thoughts on the scene would be.

"I told you it was a shame that you wouldn't come, right? Well I was sitting there a few hours later, and all I could think about was what you were writing. It couldn't have been essays for school because what sane person would refuse to go to a party just because they wanted to write an essay on the properties of Wolfsbane? So I ditched the party and then there you were, inth kitchen with me and you dropped your notebook."

I mentally make a note of how he conveniently forgot the nice snog he had in what he thought was an abandoned room with the curvy brunette girl.

His other hand not resting on my leg suddenly clenches into a fist.

"That poem that I read was amazing by the way."He whispers to me quietly. "But it drove me insane. Who had kissed you? Who had betrayed you? Who had loved you and then left you so cruelly? I thought that once I had read something that you had written, my curiosity would be satiated and I wouldn't care anymore," he sighs, "but I was wrong. I was as enthralled with you a ever."

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from interrupting him. Would he continue his confession if he found out that the poem wasn't about one of my lovers after all?

"So I made myself a part of your life. I forced my company on you and didn't even give you a choice the matter. And you seemed to warm up to me. You talked to me and you don't talk to just anyone," he smiles brilliantly at me, "and I thought that was enough. But the minute that somebody told you that I was screwing with you, you believed them." He sounded hurt, like I should have known better than to believe my own brother.

"It was my brother, Scorpius." I whisper. "My own brother. Why would he lie to me? What reason would he have to screw with my mind?"

"Lily is your cousin!" He counters ferociously. "What reason would she have to do anything to you?"

"Lily often means to do the right thing, but goes about it the wrong way when it comes to me. I honestly would not have put it past her to encourage you to hang out with me against your will. Plus, you're you. Why would you want to hang out wit me?" I gasp for breath at the extended use of my vocal chords, but it felt good to finally explain to Scorpius my reasoning.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He laughs at me scornfully. "I'm me? Who exactly do you think I am, Rose?" He smiles almost mockingly at me.  
"You' Scorpius Malfoy. You hang out with funny, pretty, personality filled people."

"I don't see why you don't fit in to any of those categories." He frowns at me.

I feel crowded. He's much too close to me now, I can feel his body heat coming off of him in waves and floating towards my own body. His grey-blue eyes are piercing me and this whol situation feels far too intimate for a white cot in the hospital wing.

"I'm leaving." I say quietly, pushing myself off the cot.

"Rose, wait!"

"I'll come back in a few days, when you're not on medication and saying crazy things." I fumble with my books, throwing them into my bag.

"Rose, I'm not-"

But I don't stay to hear exactly what Scorpius Malfoy isn't. Instead I practically fall over my feet running to the door of the hospital wing, desperate to get out of there. He was obviously still on his meds.

A part of me knew that Scorpius wanted to tell me something important, but my brain was sending me a message that clearly meant "ABORT ABORT" and I just couldn't bring myself to stay around and hear how much he likes me as a friend. Not when I got butterflies my stomach when he touched me. Not when my skin burned under his touch. Not when I felt like I could be feeling so much more than friendship for him.

Maybe my lack of courage was the reason I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor.

* * *

**A/N: Hello there lovelies :) I updated promptly this time, isn't that wonderful? I apologise for any grammatical/punctualisation/capitalisation errors as I'm not typing this on my usual computer with my usual things. **

**Anyway, I hope this clears up a bit for you guys...and there is still more to come! Many questions still left unanswered.**

**I know a few of you are disappointed on how the last chapter turned out, but I would like to point something out. A common theme in this story is communication. Actually, the major theme in this story is communication. Basically this whole story is about communication and how different people communicate. I'm sure I'm not the only one with personal experience about how with just a little bit of communication, things can turn out very differently. Just a theme of life I seemed to have picked up throughout my years on this planet and one that seemed to translate heavily into this story. I didn't even realise this until halfway through writing this story. Anyway, I hope some of you now understand now why I chose to write this story the way I did.**

**Wow, this is a ridiculously long author's note.**

**Enjoy the chapter, let me know what you think! :)**

**~wwccd**


	15. Chapter 15

_Betrayal of the deepest kind_

_Strikes through my heart_

_I know that you were never mine_

_I was doomed from the start_

_Your easy smile, your pale pink lips_

_Not so easy to resist_

_Your charm, your humor, jokes galore_

_I melted straight into the floor_

_But you weren't mine_

_And so you went_

_Yet I can't whine_

_My tears are spent_

_I betrayed myself_

I wish I could damn him to hell, though I suspect he's already living there. Though he's out of the hospital wing, he's still only a shadow of his former self. Maybe no one else sees it, maybe only I do. Certainly no one else has ever said anything to me, yet. Then again, I don't talk to many people and I don't exactly have an "in" with the Hogwarts Gossip Vine. But can no one really tell that he's paler than usual? That he doesn't smile as much? That he almost constantly looks behind him, as if he thinks he might be being followed?

I knew that what he's been dealing with had to have affected him. There's just no way that what he's been through hadn't had some kind of effect on him.

He won't leave my mind. My writings revolve around him. And he's staring at me; always staring at me with these sad, puppy dog eyes like that will make me pity him. He wants me to talk to him again, he's made that glaringly obvious. But before I do anything I have to talk to Hugo, who has been mysteriously absent these past few days.

While my brother has disappeared, Scorpius is everywhere: in the halls, in my classes, right behind me in the line at Honeydukes on Hogsmeade weekend, constantly just _there_.

I'm sorely tempted to just turn around and yell at him. To ask why he's practically stalking me in Hogsmeade, but the thought fleetingly crosses my mind—"what if he's not? What if I'm just overreacting?—so I turned around and left the shop.

I shake my head and try to return to the present time. I scan over the poem I wrote (the poem _he_ inspired, unknowingly) and slam my red notebook closed. Biting the inside of my cheek, I stand up and head over to the Gryffindor table where my family and Scorpius are eating. They all look up at my presence and send me questioning looks.

"Hugo." I say and everyone nods.

"He's on the pitch." Lily smiles at me brilliantly. She's happy that things are good between us again, but is still constantly trying to convince me that I should re-cut my hair.

I can feel his eyes on me and my neck begins to heat, the beginning of a blush rising to my face precariously. _Stop looking at me. Stop looking at me. Stop looking at me._ I can still feel his heated gaze on my back and it's extremely distracting.

I nod at Lily and the others and head toward the Quidditch pitch, looking for Hugo. I take my time walking outside, enjoying the cool breeze. I hum to myself quietly as I make my way painstakingly up the bleachers.

Hugo is flying around, the breeze ruffling his hair as he chucks the Quaffle toward the hoops and then dives maniacally after it, trying to capture it before it hits the ground or gets out of his grasp too quickly. His face is flushed and he's so focused on his practicing that he doesn't even notice me watching him. Not that I blame him, the bleachers are a vast sea of empty seats completely surrounding the ovular Quidditch field. It's doubtful that the players can even see individual faces on game days.

I watch Hugo for awhile, silently amazed at his dedication. I've never known someone as dedicated as Hugo. Even as a child, I remember he used to focus on one particular thing and make sure that he was amazing at it. Honestly, he's the reason we have a good meal at home during the summer months, as for awhile he was focused on learning how to cook. My father and mother have as much skill in the kitchen as a niffler, so we're all grateful for Hugo's fascination.

But James, being the prick he is, convinced Hughie that cooking wasn't "manly" enough, and ever since Hugo's been focused on making the house Quidditch team.

Hugo circles the pitch, picking up speed as he grips his broom, heading towards the goal posts once again and I grip my cloak closer around my body, feeling the breeze from his speed-by.

When he throws the Quaffle through the hoop I clap appreciatively, and his head whips in my direction, squinting to see who snuck up on him. He waves and flies in my direction, slowing to a stop as he reaches me and he plops down next to me, breathing hard.

"You're practicing hard." I smile, handing him his bottle of water that I had summoned earlier.

He swipes at the sweat on his forehead and gulps down his water.

"Yeah."

He suddenly seems to remember that he's been hell-bent on avoiding me for the past couple weeks and avoids my eyes, even going so far as to scooch a little farther away from me on the bench.

"Hugo."

He sighs, and runs a hand through his hair, as if knowing what is coming.

"We have to talk."

"Oh, so now you want to talk to me." He scoffs harshly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" My voice is a whisper, confused.

"Nothing." He says petulantly. "It means nothing."

"Well obviously it means something; otherwise you wouldn't have said it."

"Whatever, Rose. What do you want to talk about?"

I study him briefly, from his flushed face, to his defeated posture, to his hands that are gripping the empty water bottle so hard that his knuckles turn white. His jaw is clenched and he still won't even look at me.

I word my next sentence carefully, knowing far too well that the second he senses confrontation, it will set him off.

"About what you told me in the hospital wing."

He grunts, just a low, grumbling noise to let me know that he knows exactly what I'm talking about, but he says no more, so I decide to guide him a little bit.

"What you said about Scorpius…was it true?"

"He was going to hurt you, Rose!" Hugo bursts out of his silence, glaring at me with his green eyes. "He was going to hurt you and you would be powerless to stop him!"

"But was it true, Hugo?" I'm desperate to know, clenching my fists together. Was it all just a lie? Did Scorpius even care about me? Was Lily lying to me again? So many things I'm desperate to know revolve around his answer.

"No." He says it as a whisper, and if I hadn't been waiting so ardently to hear his answer, I wouldn't have even heard it.

I let out a breath I hadn't even known that I was holding and my body sags with relief.

"But… Rose. Malfoy…he's, he's going to hurt you." He looks at me earnestly, begging me to believe him.

"And how is Scorpius going to hurt me?"

Hugo winces at my use of Scorpius's first name, but ploughs on. "You've seen him go through girls like he goes through food. As soon as he gets what it is he wants from a girl, he dumps her. He'd just do the same thing with you.

"Don't you think that I should be the judge of that?" I say coldly. Hugo doesn't even know what he's talking about. Yes, Scorpius has had girlfriends before…and yes, none of those relationships were exactly long-term…but we're only teenagers! He's not exactly supposed to be settling down already!

"I'm just looking out for you."

"You don't have to."

"I'm your brother, of course I have to."

"You're my _younger_ brother, Hughie. If anything _I _should be looking out for _you_."

I regret my words almost the second they come out of my mouth and I see the hurt in his bright green eyes. But then the anger takes over him, and he flashes me a scowl.

"Well, I was just looking out for you; I'll remember not to do that in the future."

"Hugo!"

He storms away from me, straddling his broom to get away from me quicker.

"_Accio broom!_"

His broom is ripped out from under him as it flies into my outstretched hand.

"You don't get to run away from this conversation, Hugo." I spit at him, finally angry at him.

"I was planning on flying away." His eyes flash with anger as his face gets redder by the second. "This conversation is done."

"No. It's. Not."

"What more is there to say?"

"I'm sorry."

His glare softens and his eyes sweep over me, as if reassessing me.

"What?"

"I know you were just looking out for me, and I appreciate it. I do." I say as he scoffs at me. "I love knowing that I can count on you to have my back when I need it the most. But I think you might have overstepped the line a bit. I would appreciate in the future if you would just tell me your suspicions ahead of time instead of making up a vicious lie about someone. Believe it or not, I am very capable of making my own decisions."

"Whatever," he says, rolling his eyes.

"Fine. Whatever." I roll my eyes back at him, throwing him his broom and mirroring his biting tone. "Go find Tallie."

He smirks at me. "Tallie?"

"Or was that a lie too?"

"Nah, Tallie's cool. But she's dating Smith."

"_Noah Smith?_" I try not to show my disbelief but Hugo hears it in my voice and he chuckles.

"Yeah. Lucky bloke, huh? She must have a thing for fags."

"I could've sworn that he was hitting on James during his Christmas celebration three years ago! And fag is not an appropriate word." I exclaim walking next to my brother as we head to the top of the bleachers in companionable conversation. I know that whatever happened between us is already forgiven, if not forgotten. With Hugo everything that's said and done is forgotten the moment the conflict is resolved. It's one of the things I love about my brother. No grudges. He and Al are quite similar in that way.

Hugo chuckles as we reach the top. "C'mon, I'll give you a lift down."

I straddle the broom behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist, and squeal as he nosedives toward the ground. "Hugo!" But I'm laughing, finally feeling free from this huge burden that has been on my shoulders.

When we reach the ground, the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team is staring at us from their huddle on the in the middle of the pitch.

"You should go join your team, Hughie."

"Later, Rosie!"

He jogs toward the rest of his team, and I catch a pair of certain grey-blue eyes staring at us intently.

It seems I have one more relationship to repair, and soon.

Or the image of his grey-blue eyes will never leave my head.

* * *

**A/N: Heh...hi! :) Long time, no update, as I'm sure you all know. I don't have any excuses. I know that this chapter isn't all that great...but it was necessary to the story. Rose and her brother shouldn't be fighting! I promise that Scorpius is in the next chapter...so be ready!**

**Please drop a note and let me know that you haven't totally forgotten about this story...I would love to know what everyone thinks!**

**Take a look at my profile to see the plan for this story and my other stories.**

**Sorry again for the delayed update. **

**~wwccd**


	16. Chapter 16

How do you stop ignoring someone? I know the basic gist of it, of course, suddenly you start talking to them again, eating with them at meals, joking with them in the halls, all the things that one could expect to do with a person that they're decidedly not ignoring. But how do you get back to that point, the point where you're friends again and it's not awkward?

How do you just go up and start talking to someone again like nothing happened? Because something happened. There was a reason you were ignoring them. How can some people just overlook that in favour of less drama?

This is why I'm pacing the library now, trying to get up the courage to go and sit down next to him and act as if nothing happened, as if I wasn't just ignoring him. He's sitting at a table not too far away, studying, it seems. The NEWTs are fast approaching and his table is absolutely covered in books. Knowing him, he probably is just now cramming instead of following a carefully planned schedule like my mum always suggests.

I weave through the shelves, walking slowly, debating what I should do. Just sit down? It seems almost too easy, like I should have to work harder. I go down another aisle of books, still near him yet too far away for him to actually see me, or so I think.

"Are you going to sit down or just continuing pacing?"

His blond head swivels in my direction, his tired blue-grey eyes piercing me as he rubs his forehead exasperatedly, a hint of a smile ghosting his face.

Apparently my stealthy pacing wasn't so stealthy after all.

I step forward cautiously, waiting for him to…explode or something, but he just turns back to his book, slumping over the desk. I sit down next to him, my heart thumping as I pull out a book of my own, a pleasurable reading book. I've already done a lot of studying, and since I don't exactly know what I'm doing with my life anyway…I'm not straining myself to study for the NEWTs.

Everyone already knows what they're going to do. Some have known since birth, some have figured it out along the way. But everyone knows. Or at least, everyone has a plan. A big master plan that they stick by, because plans are good, solid things that everyone should have. Plans make it easier to think, plans make everything neat and organised and I don't have one.

So while Al is studying to become a potioneer Scorpius is keeping his grades up for the Auror Academy and Lily is preparing for her Healer classes, I read and I write. Some days I think that's all I know how to do.

"Are you going to sit there and pretend to read or actually say something? Because, no offense, but the finger tapping is driving me a bit mental."

I shoot him a withering glance, and turn back to my book, stilling my unconsciously moving fingers. I reread the last few sentences again, knowing all too well that I wouldn't process them any more than I had the last few times. This was just too strange; shouldn't we be trying to work it out?

We sit in silence and I eventually put down my book. I take to staring out the window at the grey sky. We're much too high up to see the ground without standing right by the window, looking down, so I stare and the grey swirls and dark clouds that seem to forecast a storm on the horizon. The darkness outside is a bit disorienting from the warmth of the sun that we had been blessed with for the past few days, but no one inside this library cares about the weather outside, they're all studying.

Studying.

Precisely what Scorpius is doing right now.

I glance over at his lean form slumped over his book and marvel at the changes the past few months have made. Generally I would be the one studying while he would sit there beside me, watching out the window and yet here we are, our positions switched. And even just a few weeks ago I was sitting alone. And now here I am.

I turn back to the window as soon as his eyes flicker to mine.

"You want to talk."

It's a statement, not a question. He just knows.

"It can wait." I whisper. "You should study."

He nods and turns back to his book, flipping through a few pages at a quicker pace, like he wants to finish faster.

I watch the window again as the rain begins to fall lightly, something that I wouldn't have even noticed unless the raindrops didn't slide down the window glass, dripping slowly to the stone below. I remember how, as children, Al and I use to race raindrops. We would each choose one and watch as they slid down, down, the first one to reach the window sill won. Of course this only happened when we were bored and alone, once James had finally stopped teasing us and Lily was occupied with something else.

"Alright, I'm done." Scorpius said after awhile, grabbing his books and putting them away. He grabs his cloak and throws it on tiredly, looking back at me to make sure that I'm following him as he leads me out of the library. Once we close the library door behind us, he grabs my hand, causing my heart to thump wildly as he leads me through the corridors.

"I'm going to put my bag down in the common room and then we'll talk, yeah?"

I nod in response and allow him to lead me quietly, trusting him as I didn't seem to be able to do just a few days ago.

He disappears behind the painting and I wait in silence, surprised at the seemingly deserted hallway. He reemerges just a few moments later and grabs my hand again, pulling me into the corridor where we sat and talked about his fate as an auror. He slides down the wall, much like he did the last time, and pats the empty space next to him.

I slide down, pulling my legs up to my chest, holding them there tightly as I try to phrase and decide what I want to say.

"I'm not quite sure how to do this."

"You say 'I'm sorry Scorpius'. Then I say 'It's no problem Rose.' And then we go on with our lives and forget about this."

I shake my head. "It just doesn't work like that."

"Says who?" He smiles at me. "Who says it can't work like that? Maybe you're just making this a bigger deal than it really is."

I shake my head and smile lightly against my will.

"Then, after we make up, I can ask you why you're boycotting the NEWTs." He continues, nudging my shoulder with his.

"I am not boycotting them. I'm just simply not studying as intently as some of our classmates are for them. I have no reason to."

"Miss Smartypants doesn't need to study. She could do the NEWTs with her eyes closed unlike the rest of us lowly students."

"Now you're just lying."

He laughs quietly. "Fine. What did you want to talk about?"

I sit there silently, again contemplating how to bring up the subject. In my mind's eye I see Scorpius in the hospital, dressed in white, his hand on my calf, stroking it lightly. Our last conversation had resulted in me running away from him and I promise myself that I will stick this conversation out. I had two Gryffindor parents after all, most of my family resided in Gryffindor as well, and I am a Weasley for Merlin's sake. Weasleys don't run away from measly conversations.

Scorpius grows impatient quickly, "Don't think about it, and just say it. I don't need a perfectly sculpted sentence Rose."

My face burns as I feel a blush rushing to my cheeks. "I wasn't perfectly sculpting a perfect sentence."

"You were."

His tone is determined and again, he just knows. There are so many things that he just knows.

I fiddle with my fingers, "It's odd for me to want to talk to you. I don't like talking."

He laughs. "That's a bit of an understatement."

I shoot him what I hope is another withering glance.

"I'm talking now, so I expect you to listen. I don't talk often, but when I talk, I like to be heard."

I'm staring straight ahead as I say this, decidedly not looking at him but from the corner of my eye I see his head turn to look at me. He studies me for a few seconds and then nods.

"Fair enough."

I take a deep breath and continue.

"My family is a very well-known, very unique family." I half expect him to snort at this, but true to his word, he remains silent, letting me talk, letting me explain. "My family, for the most part, is loud, obnoxious, meddlesome, and I completely love every single member, despite their loud, obnoxious, meddlesome personalities."

I shrug and laugh a little. "You know they fight magnificently? Some families do that whole silent treatment thing, but not mine. With mine, the best way to have a fight is to include the whole family, grab teams, take sides, and yell over the other people as you try to justify your opinion. I used to be a part of that. I used to yell too.

I've always been more…reserved than the lot of them. Something they've never quite understood. But they're my family and they love me and they try their best. They try to understand me because they love me and I honestly could not ask for a better family than them.

But you're a great friend, you've always been a great friend and I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm sorry that I didn't give you the benefit of the doubt, but you have to understand: it was my family. When it comes down to it, family is important to all of us. We thrive off of our family, despite our fights, however stupid, despite our faults, however big; our family is the most important thing. It's just a part of being a family. We have enough people trying to break us down; we don't need our family trying to do that too."

I clear my throat as I begin to tear up just a little bit.

"Hugo told me that he lied. He's really sorry but he'll probably never admit it to you…just a bit of his Gryffindor-pride getting in the way of everything, no offense."

I glance at Scorpius, only to see him staring straight ahead, just like me, focusing on the wall in front of us.

"So, I'm sorry. Hugo lied about you and I'm sorry."

He clears his throat and I say nothing more.

"Why'd he lie about me?"

I knew this question would come up. It was what I was expecting, but it didn't mean that answering it was any easier.

"He thought you would hurt me."

He shakes his head. "I wouldn't hurt you! I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, I promise!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"What?" His voice cracks, "you think I would hurt you?"

"No, of course not. Not intentionally. But people do things without knowing, people hurt other people all the time, through thoughtless words and actions. It's just something I've observed throughout my years of observing. There's nothing we can do about it, we hurt other people. The key is forgiving them. Why don't you instead promise to try and forgive me?"

He shakes his head again, running a calloused hand through his blond hair. "Why'd you stop yelling?"

"What?" I'm lost at the sudden turn this conversation has taken.

"You said earlier, you said that you used to yell with your family. Why'd you stop?"

I falter for a few seconds, trying to repress the memories that flash through my mind. My mum crying, my father yelling, Hugo staring at me as if I was the scum of the earth.

"I said things. I said terrible things." I single tear streams down my cheek, quickly followed by another and Scorpius reaches for my hand again. "That's why I hate yelling. That's why I wrote Lily a letter. I told my mother that she was weak. That it didn't matter if she had been tortured, it didn't matter that she didn't go to her last year of schooling to fight evil, she didn't prove anything to anyone because she was weak. She was weak when my father and she would fight and she would break down in tears." Another tear streams down my cheek. "It was a cheap shot, because my mother is one of the strongest women I know, but I was angry with her. I was angry with her because she wouldn't let me go play with my muggle friend over the holidays because we had a family gathering. Then I called all the Weasleys, my family, obnoxious, meddling and loud in probably the most unaffectionate way possible.

I had the nerve to insult the woman who gave me life, the family that gave me love, because I was being a selfish, spoiled brat."

"That's why you don't talk?"

"That's why I don't yell." I swipe at the tears on my cheeks with my free hand, sniffling a little.

"But they forgave you."

I shake my head. "Family has to forgive you. It's like an unwritten law. Others don't. The hardest thing about that fight was trying to forgive myself. It was hard to forgive myself for the things I said."

"So that's what this silence thing, is? Some kind of _penance_?" He spits the last word out.

"No." I smile sadly. "I've forgiven myself now. It took awhile, but I forgave myself. The silence thing is just me; I'm too shy for my own good. The yelling thing, that's my way of trying to put it right."

"Well I think it's stupid."

I look up at his steadily serious face in shock. He seems almost irritated, which is strange.

"Pardon?"

"I think it's stupid. Yelling, fighting, it happens. It's part of being human, it's part of communicating with other humans. The yelling and the fighting, it gets things out of the way. It says things that need to be said. And yeah, some people don't forgive you. And yeah, some people will hurt you. But some things just need to be said. You can't edit everything you say. It just doesn't work like that. The people who care enough about you, they'll forgive you for whatever you yell. It's one of the ways you find out who the people in your life really are, when you fight. I think it's stupid."

I'm sure that the expression on my face is utterly priceless.

"I want you to yell, Rose."

I remain silent.

He raises a hand to my face, wiping away an excess tear that I seemed to have missed and immediately my heartbeat spikes. I vaguely wonder if he can hear it as he stares at me intently.

"I don't want to hear you edited thoughts. I want to hear them all. It's what friends do; they listen to what you say, and even sometimes, what you don't say."

He leans in closer until I feel his breath on his face, his eyes flicker from mine to somewhere a little farther down on my face.

"Because, Rose. I want to know. I want to know…everything…" He makes eye contact with me again, his hand repeatedly brushing my face and I remain frozen in his arms, staring at his suddenly close face intently, trying to remember everything. The slight scar about his eyebrow, the paleness of his skin, the pinkness of his lips.

"Rose?"

Scorpius jerks away from me, and I look up, startled to see Albus standing a few metres away from us.

"Yes, Albus?" I clear my voice to make it sound less breathy.

"Family meeting." He looks at me significantly with his piercing green eyes and I jolt in shock. I had completely forgotten that Albus called a family meeting earlier today.

"Right. Sorry, I forgot." I look at Scorpius sadly, "I catch up with you later?"

His smile seems slightly forced as he looks back at me, "Sure. I still have to figure out why you're boycotting the NEWTs."

"I—"

"Rosie, seriously, Lily is going to flip if we don't get there soon. I've been gone ten minutes as it is, looking for you." Albus nudges me. "I'll see what I can do about the NEWT thing, Scorp. I've been wondering the same thing." He stares at me sternly, reminding me a lot of Uncle Harry.

"See you mate." Scorp nods and then heads off in a different direction, while I'm pulled along to my family meeting.

I don't even pay attention throughout the family meeting, I couldn't tell anyone who asked what topics were even discussed. The whole time I was there I was wondering what would have happened between me and Scorpius had Albus not interrupted us.

* * *

**A/N: Well, would you look at that! A prompt and LONG update! With Scorpius!**

**I would love to know your thoughts, as always. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**~wwccd**


	17. Chapter 17

_Miss Weasley,_

_Please report to my office this evening after dinner for a meeting concerning your future. Please arrive promptly._

_Professor Longbottom_

What struck me about the note is the fact that Professor Longbottom, Uncle Neville, really, is head of the Gryffindor house and therefore has no reason to be holding a meeting with me "concerning my future". Why would Uncle Neville want to talk to me about my future? And then it hit me-mum. She would definitely have something do with this, I'm sure of it.

I'm consumed by thoughts of the meeting throughout the day, wondering what I'm going to say, thinking of plausible excuses to not be studying for NEWTs, only of course I can't think of any, and debating how to tell Uncle Neville that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Who would practically throw their future away by not studying for the NEWTs, the most important exams of your life?

Everyone can tell I'm on edge. Lily keeps giving me significant looks, like I should be able to tell what she's thinking by the way she widens her eyes at me slightly. Albus is being quietly considerate, something I'm grateful for, giving me reassuring smiles every time he sees me. Hugo spends his time studying me critically every moment he can get, probably assuming that Scorpius spends his free time secretly bullying me or something else just as ridiculous. Only Scorpius is giving me space. Lots and lots of space.

Things have been better since our talk, but something just isn't the same and I can't help wondering that that…moment, for lack of a better word, has something to do with it. He seems distant, not just to me but from everyone, and he's always studying- cooped up in the library, pouring tirelessly over books and just in general being more and more reclusive, definitely something unusual for him.

It doesn't help that I saw him sporting a black eye earlier this week, proving that those disgustingly vile boys haven't given up on their favourite past time. I'm often shocked by how violent some people can be, so filled with hatred that they can barely stand to exist on the same planet on others…how is it possible to hate someone so much that you wish them, their loved ones, their families, and everything associated with them, dead?

A question, I'm sure, that many people ask everyday as they mourn for their loved ones lost in the horrific events of the past.

I knock tentatively on the door to my pseudo-uncle's office, curious to see how this meeting will go.

"Come in, Rose." The voice is faint and muffled.

I hesitantly twist the handle and the door opens inward, allowing me to catch a glimpse of Uncle Neville under his desk, half of his body hanging out, the other half disappearing under the humongous piece of furniture. His feet are kicking wildly as he yells out to me again.

"Could I have some help, Rosie? I'm in a bit of a predicament…"

I quickly rush forward, grasp his legs and pull as his body forcefully, and he slowly slips out from under the desk. His face is flushed a bright red and he looks around embarrassedly.

"Dropped a quill…" he says lifting up said quill sheepishly. "Should have just summoned it…I suppose. Sorry about that."

I smile kindly at him and go back round to the other side of the desk, sitting down the chair opposite of his and fold my legs underneath me.

"Right. You're here for the meeting…hold on…I placed my notes somewhere…."

It's quite amusing to see the difference between Uncle Neville in the classroom and Uncle Neville in his office/at family gatherings/anywhere else but his classroom. In his classroom, he is more composed and literate. Once he leaves the classroom where he is always in control he becomes an affectionate, bumbling, kind man. He always makes time for any of my family at school, if we were to ever need him. Obviously he can't do anything, nor would he ever try, to get us out of deserved detentions or trouble, or bad marks, but he was always there to be someone to talk to, a friendly face at school.

He shuffles around his office, sorting through multiple stacks of parchment, most likely looking for a letter from my mother. He finally finds what he's looking for and triumphantly lifts it into the air, happily walking back to his seat with a small smile on his face that soon fades as he sits down, rereading the letter again.

"Rose, are you not studying for your NEWTs?" He seems more composed now, more at home behind his desk as his face becomes serious; his professor mask now on his face.

I figured this subject would be addressed. If Scorpius and Albus had noticed, surely they had talked to either each other, or one of my other cousins and inevitably the information would make its way back to my mother.

I shrug my shoulders, and Uncle Neville takes my response under consideration, composing himself, becoming more serious by the second. I know what is to come.

"Rose, the NEWTs are some of the most important exams of your life. These exams will help you to become the woman you are meant to be. If you do well on these exams, it could make your career, if you do poorly…."

I want to mention terribly how Uncle George never even took his NEWTs and he's doing just fine, but I manage to restrain myself.

"Doing poorly would be very bad, you know that right?"

I nod in affirmation.

"So you'll do your best to study." He nods, like this topic has already been decided and he did something about it.

I open my mouth to tell him. I want to let him know that I have no idea what I want to do with my future, so studying and doing well on my NEWTs isn't exactly my top priority. I need to tell someone, and who other than this kind man who has always been almost a part of my family, only not directly related to me.

"Uncle Neville I—"

The door opens, typically, right as I try to say something. Instead of it being one of my many annoying cousins, however, it's Aunt Hannah, Uncle Neville's wife.

She smiles at me.

"Hello Rose. You look beautiful. How are you today?"

Aunt Hannah is so kind, she makes everyone else look inherently evil.

I smile and wave to her, before making my way out of the room as quietly as possible as she walks over to Uncle Neville and kisses him on the cheek. They get so little time together as it is…they can't be bothered by my presence at the moment.

I slip out of his office quietly and run an exasperated hand through my hair. Now I'm being reprimanded by my mum, through my professor/uncle. What am I going to do? Should I study, even though I don't know what I'm doing? I've never had a problem with exams before…I've always done well. Is there any point to studying when I'm not going to do anything with them anyway?

I find Scorpius in the library. His head is on his desk, his eyes closed in a peaceful slumber. He looks so serene that I am tempted not to even wake him, but I know he would like to be woken up to study some more, so I tap him on his shoulder.

His body jerks and he looks around wildly, trying to piece together what exactly is happening.

"Wha—?"

I place a calming hand on his shoulder, attempting to calm him as he awakens from the dream world.

"You fell asleep."

He sighs and sits back in his chair, covering his hands with his face. "Bloody hell." He throws his head back, looking at the ceiling for some kind of guidance.

I take the opportunity to sit down next to him.

"would you like some help with your studies?"

He looks at m inquisitively, "are you studying now?"

I shake my head. "No, what's the point?"

This seems to irritate him further as his eyes flash angrily at me and his hand clenches into a fist at his side.

"No point." He clenches his jaw and begins to pack up his books. "No point at all."

"Scorpius…"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it Rose." HE puts on a bright smile, a mask, I can tell. I wonder how many other times he has faked his happiness without anyone noticing. But I notice now. I can't help but realise how obvious it is. His eyes don't crinkle when he smiles, he carries himself differently, he seems more uncertain.

"What, Rose? Why are you staring at me?"

"You just seem really adamant that nothing is wrong…do you have a black eye?" I just notice now, it's yellowing a bit and concealed under heavy charms so that it's not noticeable to someone just glancing at his face.

"I'm going to the common room to study."

He stands up and walks away, just like that and I'm left staring at the empty table that he had occupied just moments ago.

I turn to see him turning around to look at me once more before he quickly retreats from the library.

Now I know there's only one thing to do for certain when something is the matter with Scorpius: talk to Lily.

* * *

**A/N: Another prompt update! Okay, so it's a day late...but that's better than a month and a half, right? Anyway, not my favourite chapter, definitely more of a filler chapter, but again necessary to the plot. Hopefully next week's will be easier to write. This chapter was just messing with my flow or something.**

**Also, for any of you who read my other stories: there is a poll on my profile that you should look at. As this story comes to a close, I will be look to my current avid readers to help me decide which story to finish next. **

**So...blergh. Okay, yeah that's it.**

**~wwccd**


	18. Chapter 18

Impulses. Involuntary tendencies that prompt action. From a young age we are taught to control our impulses. Impulsiveness leads to recklessness and recklessness will inevitably lead to a downward spiral, an emotional, stress-induced, downward spiral. We are led to believe that impulses, for the most part, should be ignored.

Don't scream out loud in the midst of a boring class, it's disruptive. Don't burst out laughing at inappropriate times, it's unseemly. Don't lash out in anger at your loved ones, it only leads to regret. Don't, don't don't. But is it better to be impulsive sometimes? I wish I could be a bit more impulsive. So often I want to do things and I just can't…something, I'm not sure what, is holding me back. Perhaps it's myself. Perhaps it's all the training that I've gone through, telling me not to do things, telling me to restrict myself, maybe that's holding me back….

* * *

"Well isn't it obvious?" Lily twists her coppery hair into a low bun at the nape of her neck and steps away from the mirror to look over herself again, her brown eyes critically looking over every centimetre of her skin, searching for imperfection.

"No." I reply because quite frankly, I have no idea why Scorpius is acting so mad.

"Rose, it's so obvious." She says decidedly, pulling her hair out of the bun again, for the umpteenth time and twisting it around her finger.

"Then just tell me, please."

"I can't, though. It's just one of those things that you have to figure out for yourself." She sighs exasperatedly. "You know him. Probably better than I do, actually. You don't need me to tell you what's going on. You already know."

Trust Lily to try and be cryptic now, just when I need her to tell me things straight.

"Maybe that's it…" she trails off as she bends over, running her fingers through her hair to give it more volume. "You're too close to the situation. Try to objectify yourself."

"What?"

What is that even supposed to mean? Objectify? Surely she doesn't mean turn myself into an object.

"I mean…try to distance yourself from the problem at hand. Be objective!" She smacks her lips as she says this, finally casting an approving glance at her reflection.

Okay now, being objective is totally different than objectifying myself.

"But I—"

"I have to go, Rose. I'm late for a date with Darren and you know I can't miss it. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to see him!"

"Lily—"

"You'll figure it out. Trust me."

And with a swish of her cloak, she is gone, with only the scent of her sweet perfume left in the room. What could she possibly mean? I have absolutely no idea what is going on with Scorpius. We were getting along so well and then. Maybe I'm over-thinking things. He was probably just overstressed from exams and he was obviously tired. I'm probably reading way too much into this.

I find him outside, under the tall oak creek on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, still technically in-bounds, but close enough to out-of-bounds that the younger years won't bother him. He has books surrounding him, something that seems to be the norm for him recently.

And then it hits me. The reason why he's been so…aggravated. Lily was right. It is so incredibly obvious. While he's been constantly studying, forever pushing himself to do better, I seem to be slacking off. Not studying for my NEWTs, not having a significant plan for my near-future. He worked so hard, despite his name to succeed and here I am, doing what looks like throwing away my potential, slacking off.

"I have something to explain." I say as I approach and he looks up, a worried expression etched on his normally extravagantly happy face.

"Sorry?"

"About the NEWTS, I know how it looks. I know it looks like I'm sliding by because of my surname." My voice shakes, the threat of tears making its presence known.

"Rose…" He interrupts.

"I wouldn't do that."

"I know." He says earnestly, his eyes silently prodding me to believe him, but I can't. He has to hear me out now. I have to explain.

"I just…don't know what I'm going to do with my life. You know. You've known for a long time that you want to be an auror. And I've studied. Year after year, I've studied. I'm still studying today, just not for the NEWTs. Bloody hell, studying is all that I have done these past few years! I know the information for the NEWTs and like it or not, I don't have to study for them. I'm smart. That's my identifier. Lily is beautiful, Albus is kind, you are charismatic, and I am smart. That's all anyone ever sees when they look at my marks: Hermione Granger's daughter. But I don't need to rely on my surname. I'm smart enough to do whatever I want. I've worked too hard, studied too hard for that. I don't have to rely on my surname to do my work for me because I've already done my work for me. I just don't know why I did the work because now I haven't a bloody clue what I'm going to do. I did all that work…for what? For nothing. So I'm not studying for the NEWTs. And I don't think I have to apologise for that."

"Rose, I understand."

"Then why…?"

"I have to study. You don't, lucky girl. So while I'm very happy for you and your studying techniques that allow you to not cram like the rest of us, I have to study and I must say…I'm a bit jealous. Sorry."

At that I almost start laughing, but resist the impulse. Who would have thought? Scorpius Malfoy jealous of me! Scorpius Malfoy…jealous of me.

"I'll help you then.. Half of doing well on exams is studying and I am a very experienced studier." My face feels like it's about to split in half, my smile is so big.

"Rose, you don't have to."

"What else am I going to do? Knit you a sweater?"

"I like green."

I giggle and see a smile crack his previously very anxious, pale face. He looks good, his black eye has faded and his eyes seem bright and clear, without any bags under them for the first time in a while. His body seems to have no signs of physical harm, another bright side.

"Are you serious about the studying thing?"

"Are you serious about the sweater thing?"

"No of course not." He rolls his eyes. "You don't have to knit me anything."

"Hmm." I muse out loud. "Actually that could be quite a productive use of my time. It will give me something to do to take my mind off of the NEWTs."

"Green."

I nod, already envisioning the sweater and the spells I would use to go about making it.

"Rose, I hate to ask anything of you."

"It's just a sweater, Scorpius." It's my turn to roll my eyes.

"No, not that. It's the studying…"

"I'll help you with that too. I have flashcards that I use, my mum made them when she was our age and I have adapted them. I'm sure they will prove to be quite helpful."

He smiles at me then. His genuine, eye-crinkling, caring, beautiful smile that I have been longing to see all week. It seems like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders and I'm proud that I had something to do with his happiness.

"Deal. But in exchange for this, I'm going to help you out. We're going to figure out what you're going to do with your life."

I roll my eyes and sigh heavily, lapsing back into silence as I pick up a random book from his huge pile, looking anywhere but at him. I don't what him to see me like this. So indecisive, so completely and utterly at a loss for who I am. I am sure of myself. I have always been sure of myself except for now…when I'm not. It's not exactly something you want to advertise to the guy you fancy.

Oh my. I did not just—

"Rose. You can't just ignore this in the hopes that it goes away. It's your future."

"Thanks, mum." I say bitingly and then immediately throw a hand in front of my mouth. "Merlin, I'm sorry that was uncalled for."

He chuckles warmly and I see the hints of a smile in his eyes again. "Don't be sorry for your opinions. You're always writing, maybe you could do something with that."

I shake my head immediately. No one has ever read my writings, with my permission, ever. There is only one exception to that rule and he stood right before me. And that is only because I had a momentary lapse of judgment as it was late at night and he had just gotten out of the shower.

"I'm not very good." I say instead.

"You have to be at least halfway decent. No one who practices as hard and as often as you do at writing isn't at least halfway decent."

"It's not practicing," I frown deeply at the word. It doesn't seem right. Writing isn't practice….it's just what I do.

"Isn't that better then?" he counters. "Most of the time writing doesn't even feel like work to you—that's what we're all supposed to be striving for. Work that you enjoy so much it doesn't feel like work.

I make a noncommittal noise in the back of my throat in response. The thought of someone reading, even critiquing, my writing seems absurd, horrifying, and oddly like an invasion of privacy because I didn't write those stories, those poems, those half-written probably never to be finished stories for anyone other than myself.

"Fine. Then here's what you do." He begins with such authority, such enthusiasm, such charisma that it shocks me. It's like he's turning on a bright light inside of himself, endearing him to his audience. He does it subconsciously but I know that I will be, without a doubt, entirely convinced by his following argument that I will have no choice but to agree with him.

"Do whatever you want. Seize the day! You want to write? Write! You want to raise your hand in class? Do it! You want to dance in the halls? Fine, do that too! Whatever you want, do it. Then maybe you'll find something that you enjoy doing. Something that you can make a career out of. Or maybe you'll find that the thing you want to do the most has been right there the whole time. But what's the worst that can happen, right? You find some things you don't want to do, you eliminate some options. But you could find the one thing that you really want to do, the thing that you have a passion for. Carpe Diem!"

"Carpe diem…" I murmur quietly, already getting used to the idea.

Be impulsive. When would I ever see any of these people again anyway? We are all leaving in just a short time, we are all eager to leave this castle, to start our own lives. I could do whatever I want. I could scream, write, dance in the halls…except for I couldn't…not unless…

"Only if you do it with me."

His grey eyes study my face fervently.

"Fine."

"Fine." I nod my head decisively. Fine.

"This means everything, right? Everything that we want to do?"

"That what you said." I shrug.

"Right." He nods decisively now. "Right then, do me a favour, will you?"

"What?"

"Don't go mental."

"Why would I-?"

He cups my face with his big, warm hands and pulls my face closer to his as he bends down to my height. "Just...don't."

And then he presses his lips to mine. Slowly, gently, as if I'm the most fragile thing in the world. And my eyes flutter closed at the feel of his lips and I seize the day. Carpe freaking Diem.

He pulls away, slowly, gently, as if I would start convulsing or turn into a raging lunatic.

"Oh." I gasp.

"Yeah, um." His hands leave my face quickly as he brings them to his hair to run his fingers through it. "We're seizing the day right?"

And then, on impulse, I stand on my tiptoes, wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to my height. "Carpe Diem."

"Carpe Diem." He whispers against my lips.

Impulses can be a good thing, is my last coherent thought before I'm pulled back into the intoxicating presence of _him_.

* * *

**A/N: Does anybody read these anyway? Alas...**

**Here you go, my lovelies! An update! Granted, about a week and a day late, but an update none the less. A LONG update at that! AND THEY KISS! Something we (we'll I know I certainly have, at least) have been waiting to happen for 17 chapters! AND THEY MADE IT! And I made it! Eighteen chapters. **

**But this is NOT the END. I REPEAT: THIS STORY IS NOT OVER. We've still got some underlying issues to deal with, of course. They leave Hogwarts in a short amount of time, Rose and her future...and so many other things. Will Lily and Hensley make it? Will Scorpius go on to be an auror? See, I told you. We're not done just yet.**

**I got a new keyboard, which I was very excited about. I'm sure none of you care, but this new keyboard made typing this chapter So. Much. Easier. So you should be happy for me.**

**And, for those of you who asked (though I'm not quite sure why) yes, sometimes I do listen to music when I write. Particularly for this story, I listen to Bon Iver, all of his songs, on loop. Forever. Until I have finished the chapter. But during this kiss scene, I kept listening to Catch Hell Blues by the White Stripes, purely because I think that would be an awesome song to have a good snog/make out session to. You know which part I'm talking about.**

**So this author's note is getting very long. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please vote on my poll on my profile if you care.**

**Let me know what you think!**

**~wwccd**


	19. Chapter 19

_Lonely hearts and lonely minds_

_Find solace in each other_

_Led down paths that wind_

_Through winds that do so wuther_

_They become a new kind_

_A spouse that does not hover_

"What are the ingredients in the wit-sharpening potion?"

His grey eyes narrow as he thinks intently for a few minutes before answering semi-promptly. "Ground scarab beetle, cut up ginger root, and armadillo bile."

"Mhmm." I study the other side of the card to ensure that he named all the ingredients and then place it in one of the two piles, the one to my left, the 'correct pile'. Fortunately, this pile is substantially larger than the 'incorrect' pile; he really has been focusing on his studies.

I fidget a little as I feel his gaze on me and try to ignore his steely grey eyes, but I can't. Every time he looks at me, I just imagine that one kiss that we shared in the corridor yesterday. We haven't talked about it, or replicated it, since and I just don't know what to say around him. Are we together now? Does he want to kiss me again? Does he want us to be together? Or am I just like the curvy brunette girl he got off with at that one party earlier this year—is he already over me? He hasn't made a move since…

"You know," he shifts closer to me from his chair right beside mine, his grey eyes penetrating mine. "Studies have shown that rewards increase motivation and improve performance…"

I fidget some more and avert my eyes from his, desperately glancing down at the study cards to avoid looking at him. I feel so small, so uncertain and tiny next to his taller, stronger frame combined with his charismatic personality.

"Hmm." I say noncommittally, continuing to pray to whoever is listening that he would just be quiet and let us continue to study without any distractions or needless conversations. Anything to keep him from staring at me like that.

"I think I deserve a reward," he shifts even closer as I continue to ignore him, his voice getting softer and deeper.

I take a deep breath to calm myself before I answer him hesitantly.

"You want to take a break?" I ask, grimacing as soon as the words come out of my mouth in a squeak.

"I think I have a better idea," he says and I feel the whisper of his breath on my cheek as he grasps my chin in his large calloused hands, lowering his lips to mine gently. His lips linger hesitantly after pressing the chaste kiss on my lips before he pulls away slowly.

My eyes flutter open as I feel the cool air that signals the absence of his body near mine.

"Oh." I whisper, my eyes wide in shock as I take in his childish smile and the warmth in his grey eyes.

He chuckles deeply in response. "Is that what you're going to say every time I kiss you?" He teases me lightly.

I take another deep breath to steady my shaky hands and thumping heart.

"Right. Next question. What is the most common use for bubotuber?"

"Treating acne."

Out of the corner of my eye I see him moving closer again and I reach out to put my hand on his incoming mouth. I turn to him and catch the confused, hurt look in his eyes and I immediately regret my rejection.

"I'm just collecting my reward." He says, pulling my hand from his mouth as he smiles devilishly at me.

"No."

"No?" He smirks, looking some kind of strange combination of surprised and amused.

"No. If a person receives too many rewards, the novelty of the rewards wears off. The novelty of the rewards must be preserved. Plus, if I gave you a kiss every time you answered a question correctly, we would never get anything done. That would be too much kissing."

"There's no such thing!" He sounded scandalised.

"Every five correct questions."

I am firm in my answer, but a small smile graces my lips despite my utter determination for it not to. There is just something about his reactions and facial expressions that make denying him thing he desires so amusing. The way he pouts is just so…attractive and childlike.

"What?"

"It's more of a challenge."

…

"You know what I just thought of?" He asks as his hand slightly grazes my lower back as we continue packing away our books to leave our secluded study corner under the oak tree.

"Hmm?"

"Selling my correct answers for kisses kind of makes me a whore doesn't it?"

He sounds so genuinely concerned that laughter bursts forth from my lips as soon as what he asks registers in my mind. I continue to giggle for a few moments and he chuckles with me uncertainly.

"Wouldn't selling my kisses for correct answers make me a bit of a whore?" I counter.

He pauses to consider this for a few seconds and then nods his head.

"We can be whores together then."

We continue to walk on in a slightly awkward silence. We're standing next to each other, close enough to touch but I don't know if I should reach out and hold his hand. Should I make the first move, or should he? I'm racking my brain trying to think of good conversation beginners, but of course as soon as I'm desperately looking to have a conversation, conversation topics escape me. Why isn't he saying anything? Is he bored with me already?

I hear him sigh quietly before I feel his fingers brush against mine as our hands pass each other form swinging them as we step. I feel his fingers brush mine once more and soon my small, cool hand is completely encased in his large, warm one.

He ducks his head down and whispers in my ear, "I like you better closer."

I feel heat prickling in my neck as the beginnings of a flush make its way through my face.

He stands up straight and swings our conjoined hands between our bodies.

"So, how's the impulse thing going?"

I sigh exasperatedly at the change in conversation.

"I don't think I'm meant to be impulsive," I lament.

He laughs warmly. "Well, what have you done so far?"

I contemplate for a few moments, knowing that I hadn't done much. Trying to completely change and go against everything you have believed in and made habit of for so many years proved to be intensely difficult. It would be like trying to use your wand with your other hand instead of your wand hand—it just feels wrong.

"I raised my hand in Charms. Professor Donnelly was so surprised that he called on me. I got the answer right." I shrug. It really wasn't much. For some reason, I had expected something big and life-changing to happen, perhaps an epiphany of sorts, but the lesson just went on as usual and I am still nowhere closer to knowing what I want to do with my future than I was before my Charms lesson.

Scorpius pulls his hand from mine only to slip his arm around my waist and give it a light reassuring squeeze.

I squeal and jump out of his arms and he stares at me incredulously for a moment before he breaks into a wide grin because apparently every reaction I have is amusing to him.

"Are you ticklish?"

I rub my side self-consciously.

"Possibly," I say uncertainly as I cautiously approach him, a part of me worried that he will strike again.

"I'll remember that." He smiles widely again, pecking me on the lips and entwining my fingers with his.

Then he shrugs. "It's okay about the impulse thing anyway. I really only said that so I could kiss you."

I let out a strangled laugh and lift my free hand to slap him lightly on the stomach.

He grabs my hand and kisses it quickly before letting it free and I feel the beginning of the blush on my face again and a warming in my belly. I never imagined him to be so affectionate, though I certainly should have expected it now that I think about it. He is so childish and happy, so charismatic all the time that it would make sense that he would be as affectionate as a child, always seeming to want to be in contact with me. Not that I am complaining in the slightest…as long as he doesn't mind my slightly sweaty palms.

We walk a bit further in silence until I get up the courage to ask a question that has been bothering me since he kissed me yesterday.

"Will your father care?"

His hold on my hand tightens slightly, and he continues to face straight ahead as he answers me.

"My father has always wanted me to have a different childhood than he had. Well, actually, he just wanted me to have a different sixth year than he had. He's always said that his childhood was perfectly fine. My point is, he is just happy that a crazy snake tongued man hasn't come around demanding that I join in his ranks and murder people because of their blood type. I think that this point he's just happy that I'm alive and seemingly not affected by the negative connotations of my last name. But I don't really know how he'll react about…us. What about your dad?"

What about my dad?

One thing about my dad that is very well-known: he has very little tact. So no matter what, I would probably warn him ahead of time of this…situation…just so that I would be able to censor what he said should censoring be needed. But what would he think? I know that he often worried about me ending up alone ever since my first boyfriend broke up with me, during the summer before fifth year. Some irrational part of him believes that because I am so reserved, boys won't be falling over themselves to get with me. Not that they are, but I'm still young, he really doesn't have anything to worry about. Just because he met mum at school…

"Rose?"

Scorpius looks worried now and I laugh.

"Sorry, I drifted there for a mo. I don't know what my dad will say…I can never predict his reactions to anything. Sometimes the slightest things set him off. You know he warned me about you before first year?"

"What did he say?"

"Something along the lines of beating you in every test and thanking God that I inherited my mother's brains." I laugh silently as I remember my father's _other_ warning: not to get too friendly with him. Too late.

Scorpius chuckles lightly.

"Well it could be worse, I suppose."

You have no idea, I think to myself.

"I think he'll just be happy that I have someone. When Jean-Luc and I broke up he was worried that I would break or something."

I feel Scorpius stiffen beside me.

"Jean-Luc?"

I forgot that the two never knew each other. Jean-Luc was the son of one of my Aunt Fleur's friends from Beaxbatons and consequently he went to Beauxbatons instead of Hogwarts.

"He was my first boyfriend but we ended things before the beginning of fifth year."

"What's his surname?"

"Dumond."

"French," he mutters under his breath.

"And long since forgotten," I assure him, tightening my grip on his hand.

He flashes me a brief smile probably thinking that I was just saying that, though I really wasn't. It had been a long time since I first thought of Jean-Luc. Jean-Luc was nice enough, and a very good kisser, but I wasn't in love with him. In the long run he and I were just better off as friends, and for awhile we kept up a lengthy correspondence until an envious current love interest of his insisted that we sever ties.

By this time, we've walked all the way to the spiraling staircase that leads to my common room.

Except now that I think about it, there is one similarity between Jean-Luc and Scorpius.

"Now that I think about it, Jean-Luc wanted to be an auror too."

Scorpius scowls at me.

"Really?"

"I seem unable to escape that particular profession. My uncle is one, my father was one, Louis is one, and you want to be one…so dangerous." I step up on one stair so that I am more level with Scorpius's face and take his face in my hands. "You won't make me regret helping you get in by getting yourself killed, will you?"

He smiles at me reassuringly.

"I'll do my best."

"I'll hold you to that."

"I will be the safest auror for you. You have to be safe in whatever you end up doing as well." He says seriously, his grey eyes pleading with me.

I'm tempted to roll my own eyes, but I resist.

"I'm sure that whatever I do won't end up being nearly as dangerous as an auror." I assure him.

"Still." He says imploringly.

"Fine. I will be the safest whatever I end up being for you." I say a bit petulantly.

"Good." He kisses my cheek. "I'll see you after dinner."

"Don't pester Albus and Lily too much about Jean-Luc!" I call after him.

He waves a hand to acknowledge my comment but doesn't turn around.

I continue up to my common room trying to ignore the burning jealousy in the pit of my stomach. The little voice in the back of my head that reminds me that Scorpius knows exactly where he wants to go in life, that reminds me that he is ambitious and already has his life planned out—probably down to how many kids that he will have while I barely know what I will be doing next week. The little seed of doubt is already planted in my head—what will I do in the future? And will Scorpius be able to cope in the long run with the fact that I don't have plans?

I push these thoughts away, but I know they still linger, deep in untouched crevices.

But for now I focus on the present, I focus on how he wants me now.

* * *

**A/N1: Yes, this is the same chapter. Unfortunatley, was having errors so some people were unable to read this chapter the first time around. Sorry if you got all excited for nothing. Side note: I have been thinking about ging back to my original updating day-Thursday (hint, hint, cough, cough, nudge, nudge). Anyway, review again if you so desire. Or just review for the first time if you were unable to see it before. Or review even if you saw it before but you didn't have the time to review. I like long reviews.**

**Okay, beg session over. **

**A/N: A prompt update! It's amazing!**

**Yeah, so I don't have that much to say...I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Vote on my poll-seriously the top two are tied...your vote counts!**

**Let me know what you think!**

**~wwccd**


	20. Chapter 20

"If you say one more word, so help me God, I will bat bogey hex you so fast you won't even know it's coming" She swiped a hand over her forehead, kneading her temple for a moment before continuing. "I'm stressed enough, as it is Darren. I don't have time for this."

Hensley watched Lily dejectedly as she threw her books into her bag and stormed out of the joint common room.

Everyone in this entire school is stressed. It's just that time of year and up until now, I would have been one of those people on the edge, desperately trying to cram in just One More Hour of studying. But not this year.

This should be the most difficult week of my life. I should be frazzled, running only on fumes of exhaustion and a little caffeine, looking like I'm about to break down in tears the second someone says something to me. But I'm not. Because for some reason, I can't.

I slug my way through each exam, not second guessing myself, going with my instinctive first answer. They are so long, so brutally long that I can't even stand to think of them when I finally leave the exam room. I can't stand to go over every single question, so I put them out of my mind.

I put everything out of my mind. I'm not even writing right now. Right now, I'm just trying to get through the day.

I watch idly as Lily gets up and storms out of the room, leaving behind a confused and irritated Hensley. He looks around wildly as the other people in the library gaze at him unabashedly, undoubtedly wondering what exactly he had done to warrant that kind of treatment from his girlfriend. In all honesty, I don't think even he knew.

I give him a sympathetic glance as he sits down with a _whoosh _beside me, sighing loudly. His eyes are rimmed with red, the I-haven't-slept-well-in-days kind of red and he rubs them before letting his head hit the desk.

"Mfghmsghg."

I hold back a giggle, knowing that this would be the completely inappropriate time to laugh at him. Instead, I touch his arm in what I hope is a reassuring gesture.

He lifts his head slightly and the only thing I see is the top half of his face, his brow furrowed, his eyes despaired. I squeeze his arm and flick my head towards the doors, gathering up my stuff and waiting for him to follow in suit.

We wander in amiable silence for a while before we find my favourite deserted corridor and I sit down against the wall. He slides down next to me, and rests his head against the wall, closing his eyes.

"If I have to take one more bloody exam, I'm going to…" he considers for a moment "die." He finished lamely.

I hum in assent, stretching out my legs in front of me, pointing and flexing my toes, enjoying the feel of using the muscles after spending so much time sitting down writing recently.

His eyes flutter closed and for once, he looks peaceful.

Hensley is so rarely peaceful. Forever working hard for the future. Faking illnesses just to get into the Hospital Wing to learn which potion is which, which cream helps what injuries. Darren Hensley: the What Happens Next guy.

We sit in silence for a while, comfortable with it. It's not the studying silence we've grown so accustomed to, but in fact the peaceful silence where you can just sit and not feel pressure to do anything. You can just sit there and be completely relaxed, completely at peace, because you've earned the right to do so.

"Rose." His voice is low, a whisper. He doesn't want to break this peace either.

My eyes flicker to his face to see that he's in the exact same position, eyes closed, head tilted against the wall.

"Yes?" My voice, a whisper too, the 's' sound echoing in the corridor as only whispers can.

"Have you ever thought about when we leave here?"

Of course, the subject that I have been avoiding, the subject that he thrives on.

"Not really."

He opens his eyes, studying me intently.

"I think about it."

I hold back a giggle.

"Yeah?"

"I used to think about it." He sighs again, closing his eyes. "Used to be all I would think about. Getting out of here, moving on with my life. But now it's time to get out of here, well, almost, and all I want is to stay.

I consider this for a few beats.

"You can't stay."

"Merlin, I know that. I know that. I'd probably drown myself in the Great Lake if I ended up staying. But for something I spent seven years waiting for, it's not as great as I thought it would be."

The silence envelopes us again.

"Two exams. That's what stands between me and the future."

The future that he—we—had worked so hard for. The future that neither of us were quite sure that we wanted any more. Before this year, the future was the one thing that we had had in common. We studied hard so we would get there. He would be a healer; I would be a member of the Wizengamot. My mother had pulled some strings and last summer I shadowed one of the members only to find, much to my disappointment that everything I had dreamed it would be was exactly what it wasn't. The exciting cases that they supposedly heard, according to the _Daily Prophet_ only happened occasionally, they actually spent most of their days sitting around and discussing Wizardring Law—something that I found out all too quickly that didn't exactly interest me.

So I pulled away from the future and everything I wanted it to be.

"Just one exam for me."

"So what's in your future?" He looks at me inquisitively.

I sigh somewhat exasperatedly.

"Come on, you haven't answered the question all year and I've let it go. So, now there's only a matter of days left and I'm asking again."

I fiddle with my hands, clasped tightly in my lap, avoiding eye contact with him at all cost.

"When did you decide to become a Healer?"

"Come on, you know the story. Fell off my broom at practice, watched Healer McKinley heal it with just a flick of his wand. And then I just knew because we're not as sturdy as we think we are, you know? We need more healers 'cause with all the breaking, we need someone there to heal." He considers for a few moments before adding. "Well, that and at Mungo's all the healers wear these really cool white robes. Figured it must be a sign because my favourite colour is white."

The image of Scorpius, unconscious in the hospital wing, surrounded by white, dressed in white flashed through my brain and the words were out of my mouth before I even stopped to consider them.

"White's a tone not a colour."

For a second I sat there in silence, shocked that I had even said that.

"Well then, white's my favourite _tone_." Hensley said good-naturedly rolling his eyes at me.

It was something Jean-Luc had always said. His brother, Etienne had been a painter and I figured it had been ground into his brain on almost a daily basis. It was so strange, I hadn't thought about Jean-Luc in months and just the recent remembrance of him was enough to get my memory going. Funny how once you start remembering something, it's really hard to stop.

"You know before I wanted to be a healer I was convinced that I wouldn't find my profession." Hensley said, readjusting himself against the stony wall and getting back into our previous conversation. "I decided if I hadn't figured things out I would do a gap year and travel around the world."

"Where would you have gone?

"Maybe around Europe or maybe the Americas if I felt like it, I think. I'm not sure. I was young and it was just an idea. I was never really serious about it, otherwise I would have started planning it and picking out places. I think that's one of the reasons I'm glad I found healing. I could never narrow the places down. I mean, where do you go if you can go anywhere?"

"I'm not sure." I say quietly, mulling this over.

"I used to think that if this healing thing fell through I could still do it but more and more I realise that it's just not possible. I didn't have any money saved up and you can't just stop your life, right? You have to have a plan. And now I have that plan."

I remain silent, clasping my hands together again and again before asking the question.

"What's the plan?"

"I think I have to break up with Lily."

I can't say that I'm not surprised. I knew that this was an inevitable problem from the beginning. I encouraged them both to go forward with it though, for a reason. At least for a little while they would be happy. They deserved this chance at a relationship simply because what better time to experiment then now when the consequences wouldn't be as bad as they would in the future? Except now, looking at Hensley looking so heartbroken, knowing how torn up Lily would be about it, I couldn't help but wonder if that short period of happiness was really worth it.

"I mean, God. She's two years younger. I can't tie her down. She's sixteen and I think I might…love her." He flashed a quick glance at me, but I let my face betray nothing. "So I think it's time that I let her go."

"You love her so you want to leave her?"

"No, I have to leave her because I love her. It's different."

I just stared at him, unconvinced.

"She has to get out there, see her options. I don't want her to be with me ten years from now and wonder if she made a mistake. I want her to know. Hell, I want me to know. In a few months, she'll be back here and I'll be at Mungo's doing my research hours. We'll be in different places in our lives and that always tears people apart. It will be better this way."

To be completely honest, I could actually understand his logic. I'm not sure I approve of it, but he definitely has made up his mind. Anything I say will fall on deaf ears.

"If that's what you think is best…"

"It's the way it has to be."

I won't just let him continue thinking this is his only way out. That this is the only way that it can be. I accept that he thinks this is the right solution but he cannot just justify it because he thinks there is only one way to handle this. I will only let him do this if he has considered every other way and is still convinced that this was his only solution. Because, really, this is my cousin we're talking about here. My obnoxious, meddlesome cousin, but my own flesh and blood nonetheless who made me cousin swear when she told me about her feelings about _him_.

"No, it's not. There are other solutions. I know you've already made up your mind, but you have to admit there are other solutions. You could at least try to talk to her about it."

He avoided my eyes again.

"I tried but…it didn't go so well. And then she ran off crying, telling me she didn't want to talk about the future for once in her life. Then we found Scorpius in the corridor and…" He trailed off glancing at me sympathetically. "Sorry. And then we just never brought it up again."

He had thought about this. He wasn't making this decision on a whim.

"Man, I wish I could just forget this all." Hensley shook his head again. "It would be so nice just to forget about this for a little while."

_Where would you go if you could go anywhere?_

This time I just hum in agreement. For once, just reveling in the presence of the person beside me, letting my own thoughts take me places I had never been before. Eventually Hensley got up and went to study or find Lily, or do whatever it was he wanted to do, but I still sat there.

Where would I go if I could go anywhere?

* * *

**A/N: God, I know. I know I know I know. I'm late. Very very, incredibly, inexcusably late. And I have absolutely no excuse. Okay, just one: Writer's Block. It's so important that it deserves to be capitalised. Because, really. It was awful. Terrible. Excrutiating. And then when I finally write a chapter, it doesn't even have Scorpius in it! I know! And I say again: awful, terrible, excrutiating. Sometimes the muses just don't cooperate.**

**But I will let you know: this chapter is important. Hell, they all are. And I assure you, some Scorpius scenes are to come. But. What are your thoughts on Hensley? Eh? I know he seemed like such a minor character and you might not even remember him...but I think he's adorable and deserved some mroe time. Well, that has been my plan since I created him. **

**Anyways, I'm sorry for the late update and the no Scorpius thing. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway! Fingers crossed that this was the cure for the awful, terrible, excrutiating Writer's Block.**

**Let me know what you think!**

**~wwccd**


	21. Chapter 21

"We're done."

He sits down beside me, burying his face in my neck, taking a deep breath before exhaling noisily against my pulse point, making me giggle squeamishly. He knows exactly where my ticklish spots were and he uses them to his advantage.

"Mhmm," I hum contentedly in agreement, snuggling further into his side, clutching my book tighter to so it wouldn't fall in my lap.

Scorpius tilts his head against my neck so he had easier access to read my book with me and I hear him chuckle softly.

"_I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees._"

His voice gives me the chills as it glides over the vowels and consonants slowly, deliberately, enunciating every syllable in a poetic, almost lyrical, tone. Even though I know that the line was meant adoringly I can almost sense the meaning that Scorpius most certainly thinks it means and all I can imagine right now his him, his smell, his feel. And then I roll my eyes.

"It's not meant to sound that way."

"What way?" He widens his eyes innocently.

"In the way that you are implying."

"And what way am I implying?" He nuzzles the crook of my neck and I sigh in resignation, no longer caring about winning the argument.

"Whatever,"

We sit in silence for a moment longer.

"We still going to the shack soon?" He mumbles against my neck.

I sigh and consider for a moment, the temptation of skipping the preposterous gathering much too strong, but the guilty, logical side of me wins out. This is the last time. So I nod and snuggle further into his side.

"Yes."

"We don't have to stay long." He entwines his fingers with mine.

I feel that sometimes he enjoys freaking me out by practically reading my mind. It's truly quite frightening.

"Okay."

I continue to read one-handedly which is actually quite difficult until I feel a warm, wet sensation on my neck.

"Scorpius!"

He sniggers devilishly, licking me again.

"I just wanted to taste you." His breath is cool on my neck and I shiver slightly.

"You are ridiculous." The look he's giving me makes my stomach flutter and I long to throw my book to the other side of the corridor despite being so enthralled in it just moments before.

"Only for you." He smirks before effectively closing my book and engaging me in another enjoyable activity.

* * *

The clearing of a throat caught our attention and caused a halt in our activities.

Al stands before us, a slightly sick look on his face, before he turns away for a few moments so that we could rearrange ourselves into a more...proper position. I still remember when my family found out that Scorpius and are were doing…whatever it is that we are doing.

Lily found us and of course, as per her usual manner, the entire school knew within a few hours. For the most part my family, the small circle of them actually present in the castle, was completely fine with it. They like Scorpius and that was that and though Scorpius never officially got down on one knee with a bouquet of roses (how romantic!) and asked me to Hogsmeade or anything, that he was with me is common understanding. We snog, we talk, he's the only one I'm seeing, I'm the only one he's seeing, and so we're whatever it is that we are.

We're both glad that my family approves, but also very grateful that we don't have to do the awkward meet-the-parents situation just yet as neither of us is quite sure what our parents will say about our relationship. One of the many pros to going to a boarding school, I suppose.

When I think about it like that, it kind of makes it seem more complicated than it really is.

"Right, time to go to the Shack?" Scorpius asks, regaining his sense of normality faster than I.

"Yeah," Al grunts.

Scorpius hops up and extends his hand to me, which I take gratefully.

Al and Scorpius start talking about Puddlemere United's chance at the World Cup while I tune them out and enjoy the soft breeze and Scorpius's hand around my waist where it sits in just the right place where I won't squeal girlishly every time he squeezes lightly. Our steps are in sync with each others—him, walking a little more slowly, me walking a little more quickly than usual, but at a comfortable pace all the same.

By the time we reach the Shack, Al and Scorpius have decided that Puddlemere's chance is very slim to none, much to their chagrin.

We enter and see the usual group: Hensley, Lily, Liz, Bea, Hugo, and Calvin. Hugo also brought Tallie and Noah who seem to be a happy enough couple. Also in the far corner, huddled amongst themselves were a few other people in Scorp's and my year, whom I have rarely ever held even a polite conversation with, but he seems to know well enough.

Lily and Hensley were standing sort of in the middle of the room. Lily had her back to Hensley, but she was completely encased in his arms as he held her to his body tightly, looking like he never wanted to let go. Then again, he probably didn't.

Scorpius and Albus make their rounds, while I meander over to grab a Butterbeer for Scorpius and myself, smiling shyly at people along the way.

Bea and Liz both wink at me when they see Scorpius heading my direction, and I try to fight the blush that I know is overcoming my face.

Scorpius takes the Butterbeer from me with a thankful smile and sits down near the rest of the group, motioning for me to sit on his lap which I promptly do.

"…just so happy NEWTs are finally over so I can relax this summer before I start at _The Daily Prophet_." Nicole Armstrong is saying.

Albus pulls out a chair and is looking at her admiringly before he catches my glance, scowls and looks away.

The conversation continues to flow easily as I look around and observe. Bea is watching Al, Al is watching Nicole, Nicole keeps glancing at Anthony Miller, who seems to have a thing for a crack in the ceiling, and Hugo keeps looking over at Tallie.

If this isn't a huge setting for repressed teenage romantic angst, I don't know what is.

The soothing circles that the pad of Scorpius's finger is drawing on my wrist cause me to look down at said boy and smile. He glances up at me and smiles back before returning to the conversation at hand. He's the mouthpiece of our duo.

I turn my attention instead to Lily and Hensley who seem to be in their own little world, whispering in hushed tones to each other. Their earnest expressions seem a bit too harried, too agitated, too…something else I can't quite seem to pin down.

Then, Hensley grabs Lily's wrist and pulls her into the hallway.

Immediately, I spring into action. I can't believe that he would choose _here_ of all places to do this, but I want to be on hand just in case.

I jump up, startling Scorpius, and give him a harried whisper of my own telling him that I'll be right back before bustling off to the hallway. I get there just in time to hear Lily.

"No. You listen to me Darren Hensley. I know what I'm doing! You think I haven't thought of this? You think that it hasn't been in the back of my mind since we got together? I _know_ that you're leaving! I know that! Merlin!"

She begins pacing up and down the hallway in front of him.

"I thought about it. Long and hard, especially have what you said the other month."

"I think that this is the best—"Hensley starts.

"Bull! That is complete bullshit! You didn't ask me what you thought is best! You're taking the easy way out! You're being practical!"

"But if you just—"

"No Darren! I know what I want. I want you. I don't see that changing anytime in the near future. So, unfortunately for you, you're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. I don't care that I'm two years younger than you. I don't care about all these stupid facts that you're spitting out about how long distance relationships never work! I care about you, I want you, and it can be that simple."

Hensley's voice lowers and he cups her face with his hand. "But what happens on those lonely nights, or when you hear through rumors that I'm sleeping with someone else? What happens when I can't see you every minute of every day? What happens if you start to regret this decision?"

Lily sighs. "I don't think I'll regret this, but if for some reason, I do," she rolls her eyes, "I'll know that this is my decision. _Our_ decision. I'll know that it wasn't a decision that was made for me, but something I chose. I think I can live with that."

And then she is in his arms, hugging him tightly, and the shocked expression on his face is enough to make me giggle. He looks like he can't believe his luck. I'm proud of Lily, she stood up for what she believed and forced Hensley to realise that there were two people in the relationship, both with feelings that needed to be addressed.

Who knew Lily could have such a mature relationship?

I practically skip back to Scorpius, happy to have part of the knot in my stomach loosened by the fact that Lily and Hensley are going to be okay for now.

"Ready to leave?" Scorpius asks me as I approach him.

I nod enthusiastically, extremely pleased at the prospect of leaving the Shack and spending some more alone time with Scorpius.

We stand up, say goodbye to the group and head on our way.

I explain to Scorpius everything that happened in the hallway with Hensley and Lily but after I finish the story he seemed strangely quiet.

"What about us, Rose?"

"What about us?"

He turns me to face him and looks me dead in the eye.

"What about us during the summer? What about us after we leave here?"

He looks so deadly serious and I start fidgeting with my hands.

"Well…" I say quietly, "I wouldn't mind seeing you frequently over the summer."

He chuckled.

"I wouldn't mind seeing you either." He says, resting his forehead on mine.

"I'm waiting on a letter from my parents though; it should be coming soon, so the finer details will have to wait."

"I can deal with that." He smiles and then presses his lips to mine in the most earth-shattering, toe-curling kiss that I ever experienced.

I pull away from him and giggle, but he just pulls me even closer than before and we resume the activities that we were doing before Albus so rudely interrupted.

* * *

As I make my way up to my dormitory after leaving Scorpius I feel a kind of adrenaline high that I get only after spending time with Scorpius. I smile at nothing and even begin to sing as I creep in, determined not to wake any of my roommates.

"Rose?"

Caught. I turn around to see Matilda standing there, the shadows casting an eerie light on her figure, yet again.

"Hi Matilda," I say softly.

"Your owl came. It dropped this off for you, and I gave it a treat so it flew to the Owlery."

"Okay, thanks."

Matilda smiles and me before climbing back into her bed and pulling the curtain behind her.

I tear open the letter excitedly.

_Rosie,_

_After some careful consideration, your father and I have decided that you're right, this could be a fantastic opportunity for you. You could broaden your horizons and learn more about the world around you both in present time and throughout history, and maybe even learn a little about yourself along the way. Do not, however, take this as a free-for-all. We will have to set some guide lines, especially if you are doing this on our galleon. We will discuss this more when you come home in a few days. And don't think you're off the hook about the Scorpius Malfoy thing either—it seems we have plenty to discuss when we see you again!_

_Love, _

_Mum_

Well, there go my best laid tentative plans.

* * *

**A/N: Ta-Da! A chapter with Scorpius! And this one only took me three weeks to write! Blergh. I know, I know, I suck. Writer's Block reared its ugly head again. But I persevered and wrote this chapter. Which actually turned out differently than I had originally envisioned it. I also had written myself into a corner at the beginning of this chapter and it took forever for me to figure out my way out of it (which turned out to be changing ONE word, seriously). I literally thought about it every day. But anyway, it's over now.  
**

**So let me know what you think, as per usual. I really do appreciate your reviews and they do encourage me to update faster.**

**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**~wwccd  
**


	22. Chapter 22

"Scorpius, we need to talk."

No, that's not right.

"Scorpius, there's something I have to tell you…"

"Look I really like you…"

"Ugh!"

I flop down on my bed just as Hugo bursts through my door his face red with…rage? Irritation? Running up the stairs?

"Will you shut up? Just tell him already!"

"It's not as easy as you make it out to be! In fact, it's complicated. There are some things that have to be said with great caution." I explain for the thousandth time, rolling my eyes.

He rolls his eyes right back at me.

"Some things just need to be said! Stop thinking so hard about what you're going to say and just say it!"

And then he storms out of my room, slamming the door behind him. I suppose he has a right to be angry, considering it's 02:00 and everyone else is asleep. I probably had just awakened him with my incessant talking, a rarity for me.

Not five minutes later my door creeks open again and I see my mum standing there, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Rose, sweetheart, it's late. What are you still doing up?"

"Nothing."

She gives me the mum stare, the one that tells me that she gave birth to me (after suffering through eighteen hours of labor; the stare that shows that she knows when I'm lying and this time she's not going to let me get away with it.

"Rose, you have to tell him."

I resist the urge to whine 'but I don't want to!' like a little child. Instead I sit quietly on my bed and my mum sits down next to me.

"It's in a week. You've been planning this since the end of school. You two tell each other everything and you've kept this from him. He's going to be hurt that you didn't tell him and the longer you wait, the worse it's going to get."

I sighed. "I know, but how do you even start that kind of conversation? 'Hey Scorpius, I know we're boyfriend and girlfriend, or friends that just make out and tell each other everything, or whatever the hell we are to each other, but I've been keeping something from you for a few weeks that will completely change our lives…so here goes!'?"

My mum is silent for a few minutes, slowly stroking my hair that is so like hers except auburn. I know she means it to be soothing and comforting, and it normally is except today it just makes me feel like an animal being petted.

"Maybe that's not the best way to word it." She says finally.

"Well then what do you suggest?" I feel as if I'm in near hysterics by now. Conversations were never my strong point, especially huge, epic, life-changing conversations.

"Maybe…'Scorpius, I have some news. What I'm about to tell you _is_ happening. It will happen, but I hope you'll be able to understand why it needs to happen…'"

"I dunno mum that sure has a lot of "happens" in it."

I can see her purse her lips in irritation. "Well, it's late, Rosie. Give it some time and it will come to you. I'm certain that being sleep deprived won't help you come up with any earth shattering ideas."

"Thanks anyway, mum." I sigh helplessly, on the verge of tears, or some other sort of mental breakdown.

"I'll think about it some more." She says and gets up off the bed, heading toward the door. When she finally reaches it, she turns around to look at me. "You need to tell him soon, sweet. He won't care how eloquently you say it; he'll be listening to _what_ you're saying. Just think about how you'd like to be told and go from there."

I know that I won't get any further on this tonight so I groan and snuggle further into my bed, burrowing under the warm, clean covers, smelling the fresh scent of soap on my pillow case as I float off into dream world, but not before glancing at the map on my wall just one last time…

* * *

There are colourful pins on each of the places I planned to visit: Athens, Prague, Vienna, Venice, Florence, Rome, Pisa, Genoa, Milan, France, Nice Barcelona, Grenada, Seville, Lisbon, Madrid, Paris, Geneva, Zurich, Munich, Frankfurt, Berlin, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, London, Dublin, Cork….the pins went on and on…multicolored, creating a colourful cluster on the continent of Europe particularly, with a few sparse pins on a few of the other continents: New York, Rio, Sydney, Singapore…

Perhaps I had been a bit ambitious, but mum found this vague plan acceptable as long as I planned to stay in touch. She gave me some contacts that she had in a few countries and I felt my excitement grow in the few weeks that I had been home. I feel…invigorated. Invigorated with independence, drunk with happiness, excited about what lies ahead for me.

I honestly never expected my parents to go for it. Never in a million years had I even briefly considered the possibility they would say yes, but mum says she understands about crushed dreams and a desire to travel.

And I still haven't told him. The most exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my entire existence and I haven't told him, one of the most important people in my life.

It's not that I had planned on not telling him.

In fact, I had planned on definitely telling him.

But my mouth had a slightly different idea. Every time I tried to tell him, something else slipped out ('the Chudley cannons sure are doing well!' 'my favourite colour is blue.' 'Look it's a niffler!') I have decided that I don't much like word vomit.

And so here I sit in McCafferty's Pub in Diagon Alley, eating fish and chips and nursing a Butterbeer, trying to figure out how to tell him.

My family shot down my proposition of writing him a letter—this was the kind of thing that had to be told in person, they said. They also scoffed at the idea of me writing note cards so that I remembered what to say. Lily is all for me just "winging it" and hoping for the best and at this point I'm right there with her because I only have a few days left.

I felt my heart beat nervously at the thought. Only a few days left…only a few days to see him, only a few days to tell him. It had to be now. It had to be today…otherwise…when would I ever have the chance? And above everyone else, he deserved to know. That's why I asked him to meet me here. It had to be today.

Suddenly, a familiar blond head creeps into my line of sight and soon he is standing right in front of me, smiling brightly.

"Hello," he smiles, brushing a quick kiss against my cheek and dropping into the chair across from me.

"Hey." I respond weakly.

"What's up?"

"I have something to tell you." I say it cautiously, trying to gauge his reaction. All I see is confusion.

"Okay…"

"But..um..not here, if you don't mind. Are you hungry or…?"

"I had a late breakfast," he says, raising his eyebrows at my stuttering and stammering. It has been so long since I've been speechless in front of him. I am so comfortable with him now.

"Okay, come on." I grab his hand in mine after leaving some change on the table for my meal and then drag him outside.

I had already decided upon a neutral place where I would tell him so I spin and apparate, dragging Scorpius along with me through time and space.

We land gracefully in the meadow sort of near my house. It's technically our property, but nothing is on here and nobody ever uses it except for when we have family Quidditch games every once in a while. We're far enough away from my house that it's not too close, but still close enough that I feel comfortable.

Scorpius looks around, taking in the surroundings before looking at me expectantly.

And then, with a burst of courage I didn't know I had, I spit out the one thing that's been on my mind for about a month and a half.

"I'm leaving." I twiddle my fingers nervously, not looking at him. I can't even bear to look at his face.

"What?"

"I'm um…leaving. I'm going to travel. I think I'm going to start in Ireland, my parents know some people there and I've always wanted to see the Blarney Stone."

I look at him nervously. He looks flabbergasted, like he can't believe what I'm saying.

"But…why?"

It's as if a fire of passion has ignited in me suddenly and I can't stop the words from coming out.

"Why? Because I have no idea what I want to do with my life! I know you want to be an auror, Al is going to be a potioneer, Hensley is studying to be a healer, even Nicole Armstrong is interning for the Daily Prophet! All I have is a dead dream and the sense of being completely and utterly lost in my own life!"

"Oh." He's staring at me calculatingly. "I didn't know you felt that way."

His voice sounds almost robotic, like he's turned his emotions off somehow.

"I didn't tell anyone I felt that way." I sigh." "And I somehow convinced my parents that this might be a good thing for me to do, to expand my horizons, I guess."

He breaks the stare, studying the ground below us.

"How long will you be gone?" I could swear I heard his voice break.

"I don't know."

It's a whisper, the sadness finally overwhelming me as I finally admit out loud what I'm going to do.

"When do you leave?"

"Tuesday."

I feel as if the passion is contagious as it leaves me and fuels him.

"Tuesday? As in, less than a week? What the hell?" His head snaps up and he's staring at me intensely with his grey-blue eyes, which makes me want to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself right now and never comes out.

I wince as he raises his voice.

"How long have you been planning this?" He practically growls.

"A while…"I mutter, my face flushing.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I—"my voice breaks as the lump in my throat brings the threat of tears. "I didn't think you'd want to know."

He looks furious. His glare is deadly and his face is flushed as he runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

"What the hell do you think we've been doing these past few months, Rose? Merlin! You know what? You're just a small, scared, insecure girl and you…you…you…" he splutters, "you don't let anyone in because you're afraid! And when you do let people in, you're too scared to let anything happen! I'm done!" He screams the last part, storming away from me, like he can't even stand to be close to me.

The tears are streaming down my face now; tears of horror and sadness and pain.

"Scor—"

"Fuck!" He interrupts me, and then spins on spot and apparates away.

I am left by myself, sitting down to give into the tears that threaten to consume me as one of the most important people just walked out of my life. And I only have myself to thank for it.

* * *

It's been four days. Four days since Scorpius. I leave early tomorrow morning. I've spent these four days days alternating between crying and packing. Sleep is evasive as a mixture of excitement and pain stirs in my stomach. I'm just finishing packing the last few things that I might need when I hear a light knock on the door.

My mum pokes her head in.

"Honey, Scorpius is here. He wants to see you…" She looks worried and trails off, leaving the decision of actually talking to Scorpius up to me.

My heart is thumping erratically as I think of him, just downstairs. So close, yet so far. I gulp and try to steady my breathing.

"Okay."

Her head disappears and I wait breathlessly for his appearance.

"Hey."

He looks like death: bags under his eyes, hair disheveled, and clothes crumpled. I imagine that I look quite similar to him, except I hadn't actually looked in the mirror to verify that I looked as bad as I felt these past few days.

"Hi."

Then I'm in his arms, held tight against him as he presses the lightest of kisses to my forehead. We just stand there for a moment, wrapped up in each other, knowing this will be the last time. He speaks first.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." I don't even miss a beat.

We stand there in silence, the longing for more time almost overwhelming.

I feel the tears threaten to release even more as he settles his head in the crook of my neck, breathing deeply and I snuggle further into his chest, embracing the feeling of security that I always feel in his arms.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper against his shirt.

"Me too," He mumbles against my neck.

"I have something for you." I break away from him and grab a piece of parchment from my desk, a letter I had written him a couple of days ago, hopefully explaining everything that he wants to know about my quick retreat. "Read it after I leave. I just…I hope it clears some things up."

We stand there for a moment, staring at each other, taking each other in, drinking up the image of each other's faces, memorizing every line, committing every muscle and contour to memory. Or, at least that is what I'm doing.

"We just had bad timing, didn't we?" He whispers in an agonizingly broken voice. "If we had gotten together earlier…"

A lone tear streaks down my face, and I know that others are soon to follow.

"I guess." My voice breaks and his jaw clenches, like he's trying to keep himself from doing something he might regret. I clear my throat. "But who's to say we wouldn't be doing this anyway?"

He stares at me for a few more minutes, the same calculating look he gave me four days ago and then he cautiously takes the remaining steps towards me, slowly capturing me in his arms, holding me tightly against him, for the last time. I know it's the last time because I have this feeling that just…it just doesn't feel right and I know that this will be the last time.

He bends down and whispers in my ear, "I'll let you go."

I choke back a sob and his arms tighten around me once more before they drop from my sides and he walks out of my life for good, without looking back.

I take a shuddering deep breath, wiping the tears from my eyes as I consider the bittersweet moment. Tomorrow, I will start a new life, one without him in it. I will embark on a new journey, but I will never forget the boy who got me out from behind that dammed curtain and helped me take the first steps to finding myself.

* * *

**A/N: Hello, lovelies. Now, be completely honest with me here...who was expecting that? Hmm?**

**Anyway, I apologise for the time it took for me to write this. I wanted to get this chapter perfectly. Which, I didn't do in the end, but I felt so tortured by it I finally just made myself stop rewriting it and actually post it. I had written the intro three different times, I couldn't figure out if the breaks were too choppy, if this chapter happened to early, should I add another filler chapter in between? My mental agony was endless. **

**Alas, it is finish. Well, almost. There will be an epilogue to be posted in exactly one week. Thank you all for your continuing support for this story. Please let me know what you think of the ending. I can't believe it's over. This has been such a fixture in my life for the past eight/nine months that it's surreal that it's actually ending. **

**I know that I always ask you to review, but I really would appreciate it if you would review, even you silent readers out there. This is your second to last chance to do so! **

**Sorry for the begging. **

**Anyway, cheers to what I think has been a fantastic ride, an epic journey, a rollercoaster of emotions. Stick around for the epilogue and don't forget to review!**

**All my love and sincerest thanks for your support,**

**~wwccd  
**


	23. Epilogue

The night was cold and dreary, fog encompassed the street and a light sprinkle of rain fell over the alleyway where he stood, enamoured by his own thoughts. He was off in another world, a dream world—he was so far gone that even the homeless man in torn clothes begging for change didn't even dare attempt to approach him.

He tied his cloak closer to his body in a failing attempt to protect himself from the bone-chilling cold. The letter in his hand he held tightly, as if letting it go would banish a memory from his mind forever. The tattered, creased parchment looked well read to anyone who saw it and the pain in the man's eyes was plain as day.

If you had seen this man on the street, you would never know his inner turmoil. If you saw him day to day, you wouldn't see it because his actions showed that he was Over her. Except for on nights like these when Over seemed so far away, his actions were no longer controlled by his brain, and the only headway he seemed to have made in his life was not thinking about her constantly.

But this week would be different, more different than he knew. The reading of that well-worn parchment was just the beginning of a week in which the past would seem so very much like the present.

* * *

_Scorpius—_

_You have changed my life. I thought, seeing as I might never get a chance to tell you again, you should know. _

_I really hope you haven't incinerated this letter or something. Anyway, you have changed my life. You have this aura about you, you relate to anyone and everyone, you are so charismatic and funny and I'm not sure you're aware of how every person you touch seems to be a brighter, better version of themselves. The world would be a completely different place without you in it, and I firmly believe that I have no right to take such a brilliant auror from it (I'm only assuming here, but you better be a brilliant auror or my letter to my uncle will be all for naught.)_

_My leaving has nothing to do with you. In fact, I've gone over in my head a million times the different ways this could have gone. I could take you with me, we could attempt long distance, apparate and meet up with each other, I could write, you could write, I thought of everything. You have no idea how badly I wanted this to somehow work out; and I thought about it a lot. It was not a decision I made lightly, leaving you, and I've thought of you almost constantly since you left just a few days ago._

_How do I let you know that it is all my fault?_

_I couldn't have made you leave the auror academy. I wouldn't let you even consider giving up your dream for me (would you have?). I didn't want you to have to make that decision, so I made it for you. I think that a part of me was worried what decision you would make. But what about the other scenarios? I'm not sure, but none of them felt right. I want to be with you, but I want to be with __all__ of you. I don't want to half-arse it. _

_You know the people I mentioned earlier, the ones that I told you that you changed? Though I know you don't believe me.) I am one of them. I'm saying this again because you need to know. You helped me begin to find myself and with you I felt...whole, like everything would be okay in the end. _

_You made me feel safe and it was like a dream come true because I never felt so safe before in my life. But you also made me feel nervous and scared because I knew that the more time we spent together, the more likely I was to fall for you._

_I am falling in love with you, Scorpius, and I didn't even know who I am. You have the future all planned out, something I envy and admire so much. I honestly think it would be a challenge if we started a real, honest-to-Merlin relationship because I know that you would get frustrated and I would get frustrated because I don't know who I want to be or what I want to do. And knowing that is my responsibility alone, I would never burden you with that—you have enough troubles on your own._

_I can see myself staying with you much longer after school is out and I'm not going to lie, that frightened me. How easy is it to lose yourself in a relationship when you know who you are? How easy would it be for me to lose myself in you—with dire consequences? _

_Perhaps I over-think things too much._

_I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner about my leaving, but I had no idea how to tell you. _

_I'm sorry for not being ready for you. _

_I'm sorry that our timing was off…if we had met a year earlier, a year later…who knows?_

_I'm sorry for over-thinking things._

_I'm sorry for giving you the impression that I was too scared to let you in when really I am so scared because I feel I have let you in too far, and I don't know if we could get out._

_But I have this feeling; deep down in my gut that I won't be sorry I made this decision._

_I hope that sometime in the future we will see each other again. I think that we had something special and I'm not just saying that. There's something inside me that feels like we're not done with each other yet (do you feel the same?)_

_I wish you all the best—always and forever._

_-Rose_

* * *

I read the crumpled up note for the thousandth time in the last two years. The parchment is worn and stained and the crease lines are so engraved on the paper that anyone could just tell from looking at it that it was well-read.

The funny thing is, for the longest time I didn't read it. I didn't want to know why she left. I didn't want to torture myself with the reasons she didn't like me enough. Until, one day, I did. It had taken longer than I thought, getting over her. Well, mostly over her. Are you ever really over someone? There are still times when I hear a funny joke or read an article and I think to myself, "Rose would like this." But on the day to day thing, I am over her. I think.

I hadn't read the letter in awhile and I am still not sure why I did today. The content of the letter never changes, the words stay the same. The last contact she's ever had with me.

The letter surprised me when I first read it. There are so many things you don't know about yourself until someone else points them out to you. Rose noticed everything. She was just one of those people who looks at you and instantly knows everything about you, from your favourite colour to your deepest desires. She read me like an open book.

It didn't take a genius to know we were good together. Even my mum commented on how happy I seemed with her.

Not that I haven't moved on, because I have. I've dated, I even had a girlfriend or two; I don't have any reason not to. It's been three years.

Maybe I just need more closure. Maybe I need to see her again and realise she's not as great as I thought she was. Maybe then I can get rid of this nagging feeling in my gut.

* * *

_13:00 McCafferty's Pub. Diagon Alley._

That was the super-important interdepartmental memo I received just now. But it's in her handwriting. I would know it anywhere. Everything about your first almost-love sticks with you.

My heart is pounding and my hands feel clammy and I even fumbled through drills this morning—the first time in a while.

Mr. Potter gave me the rest of the day off, but he gave me this knowing look as he did it, like he knew something you didn't.

He probably does.

That kind of bothers me.

I pack my things and go at quarter till, ignoring the stares and whispers of my fellow trainees as the jealously watch me go. If only you knew where I was going, I think to myself, you wouldn't be so jealous of me after all.

I apparate out of the Ministry and land in Diagon Alley just outside the pub. I take a deep breath before I walk in.

The pub's not very crowded but the late lunch crowd isn't here yet and the regular lunch timers have already left so I see her right away as I enter. She's sitting at a table in the back, twirling her straw in her cup and fiddling with something in her hands. When she sees me, she stands up.

She's shorter than I remember, but I've grown a few inches since I last saw her. Her hair is short, like it was for a few months in seventh year before she grew it out again. She smiles at me tentatively, and reaches her arms out for a hug, but I just smile hesitantly back at her and motion at the table.

I ignore the ache in my chest as she sits down, not meeting eye contact with me anymore—like I've hurt her or something. I didn't mean to hurt her…but hugging her will just…give me hope or something; hugging is reserved for important people only, I guess.

"I ordered you a Butterbeer; I hope that's alright." She bites her lip.

"That's fine, thank you." I say, wondering why, after all this time, I'm sitting here drinking with her like nothing had ever happened at all. Like she hadn't left me.

Like I hadn't let her.

I tear my eyes away from the crack in the table only to see her fiddling with that damn thing again. I lean forward to see what it is and my breath catches as I see it glisten in the light: a diamond ring.

_**No**_.

The word resounds in my head. I knew that I swore I was over her but the thought of her with someone else almost makes me physically ill.

"It's my grandmother's. I mean, it was my grandmother's." She holds it out for me to inspect but all I can do is stare at her whilst unclenching my fists under the table.

She pulls her hand back.

"She died. Just about a week ago. She left this for me in her will. My mum's a mess. I just heard about it and I knew it was time for me to come home after all this time.

So she hadn't waited to contact me.

I felt a bit of relief even though I don't want to.

"I'm sorry." It comes out sort of cold but I don't know what I'm supposed to say to her anymore.

"It's alright." She smiles at me.

_She's so beautiful_. NO—no she isn't, not anymore, I remind myself, not since she left you and didn't even try to make things work.

"Scorpius," the sound of my name startles me, "I—I'm sorry, for three years ago."

I wince. Well, she just goes right for it, doesn't she?

I clear my throat.

"Yeah."

"Did you um…did you read my letter?"

"Yeah," I shift in my seat, knowing it's the understatement of the year. I practically have that letter memorized, and it's not exactly a short one.

"Oh." She takes a swig from her Butterbeer and I know that's my cue to start up the conversation instead of just sitting here watching her uncomfortably.

"So did you…you know…find yourself?"

She laughs, shaking her head and I have to admire the way her hair looks. Soft, red, long enough for me to run my fingers through…

"I forgot I said that. Find myself," she lets out a snort of appreciation for her naïveté. "No. I didn't find myself. I found out a few things about myself though."

I raise my eyebrows, "Like?"

"Well for one, I love Paris. The atmosphere, the culture, the…everything. People are so fashionable and artsy there, it's brilliant. The Eiffel tower is amazing, the cafes are amazing. Lisbon is also a fascinating place and I would give anything to go back to Seville. I can talk to people now without having that funny feeling in my stomach and breaking out in a sweat, which is nice."

I chuckle at her enthusiasm. She's waving her hands around and the smile on her face is…wow.

"I learned that I can fake a French accent pretty well. I learned that actually speaking a different language is a whole other story," she giggles, "I learned that I positively can't stand to stay in museums and art museums for longer than an hour and a half. I learned that muggle history is just as fascinating as wizarding history, and I learned that—" she breaks off suddenly, staring at me for a moment. "Sorry, you've probably heard enough already."

I was enjoying watching her talk though. She never used to do that. She seems different now, I can exactly pinpoint what's different but I know something is. She just seems more relaxed or something, like she's more at ease.

"Don't stop for me," I say.

She smiles that smile at me again.

"I lived in Russia for awhile, with my Uncle Charlie and I learned that without a doubt, I will never be a dragon trainer."

I burst out laughing at the thought of Rose, sweet Rose, training a dragon. It's just one of those things that doesn't seem right, like Voldemort falling in love.

"I can't even see you doing that," I confess.

She joins in my laughter and shakes her head again.

"It was so surreal…I kept a diary of it from day one. You'll have to read it. I rode a camel in Egypt!"

"You better have a picture."

"I have too many. I took pictures of everything, it was completely ludicrous. I even got yelled at once by this old guy who told me I wasn't authorised to take a picture of this giant boulder!"

I laugh. "Was it illegal or something?'

"Not sure," she shrugs, "he was yelling in German."

I shake my head, trying to grasp everything she's told me. I can't picture her old self doing all this stuff, but the person in front of me. Well, the Rose in front of me right now just doesn't seem real. Even I can't deny that these past few years have been good for her.

"Is there anything else I can get you two?"

We both turn to see the waitress looking at us expectantly.

"Another Butterbeer please," I say, thanking her and I look at Rose.

She asks for the same, but I see the faint blush on her cheeks and the way she fiddles with the ring in her hand just a little too much and I know that shy Rose is still in there. She's changed, but she hasn't changed that much at all.

As the waitress walks away, Rose drops the ring and I bend over to help her pick it up.

"I really am sorry about your grandmother."

"Me too." Her voice is a whisper now. "Mum's all bent out of shape because of it. She says that she thinks she didn't spend enough time with her when she was alive. She says the 'being in two different worlds' was really no excuse at all…"

She stares off into space for a little and I let her, thinking about how weird it is that I'm sitting here with Rose after all this time, talking about her dead grandmother.

"Enough about me now. What about you? How's the Academy going?" She says, shaking herself from her stupor.

"I'm top in my year."

I'm glad she doesn't think that I'm being cocky, I can tell from the look on her face. I just thought she should know because she's the one who made it all possible.

"That's splendid!"

"Splendid?" I smirk.

"Splendid! I'm so happy for you!"

I smile back at her and I know that both of us are smiling so hard that our faces feel like they will break.

"Your note didn't go to waste."

"I knew it wouldn't. I've always had faith in you."

Just her saying that gives me a little flip in my stomach, but not the nauseous kind of flip, the good kind of flip.

"So what are you doing now?" I ask. "For a job?'

"I'm writing now, well at least a little bit. Mostly I'm marketing for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes but I occasionally write editorial letters for the Daily Prophet and I'm working on a novel."

"You haven't changed a lot, have you?"

"Merlin, I hope I have! I was looking back at my red notebook the other day, the one I kept all through seventh year and I just kept thinking 'Godric, I was a pretentious, angst-ridden little teenager!'"

I laugh.

"You were not. You just…thought that you had a pretty good handle on life. At least, I thought you did."

"What? You thought not talking to people and writing angsty poetry was having a handle on life?" She shakes her head again. "No, I didn't have a clue what I was doing."

I find it kind of funny that I see a bit of the Weasley temper in her now because I wonder where she's been hiding it all her life. I tell her so.

"I think I just got a moderate amount of it. I mean it's not like I'm like Lily or anything; given the choice I'll still read and stay in for the night or something, but I'm certainly not going to pen long letters to my family members when I'm upset when I could just as easily tell them!"

I laugh at her indignation. She's still caught in the middle: she wants to be like her family, but she doesn't at the same time.

"Well, I think that's progress."

She nods enthusiastically.

"I think I have an idea where I'm going in life but…something's missing." The tone of her voice changes and she looks at me intently. "I spent three years looking for that something but it only took me ten minutes with you for me to know what it is."

I just stare at her dumbly.

"Scorpius, it's you." She breathes out slowly, "It's you I know you've probably moved on—

"Rose, do you really think that I would sit here and talk with you if I had moved on? I mean, not that I haven't tried, no offense, but—"

"I tried too!" She exclaims. "I did, I just…"

Right. This is ridiculous. Three years and I'm still not over her and here she is in front of me saying that she isn't over me either.

I stand up, walk over to her chair and pull her out of it, and kiss her.

She stiffens against me for a second, but then fully gives into it and I hear a cheer from somewhere behind me in the pub, but we ignore it.

She breaks the kiss after a few minutes and we pull apart, breathing heavily.

"Scorpius I—"

"Come on, we'll talk outside."

I notice that we're quickly gathering an audience so I throw some change down on the table and drag her outside.

"Scorpius I—are you sure?"

I study her face for a moment. I see her eyes, the quirk of her eyebrows, her swollen lips.

"Rose, I'm sure."

There are just some things that you follow your gut about, and Rose is one of those things. Our timing wasn't right the first time around but here we are, three years later, and our feelings haven't changed. I can deal with learning about the "new Rose", I can re-meet her. I know she's not the same as she was, but, hell, neither am I. It'd be stupid not to give us another shot.

"We'll need rules and dates and…well other things because it certainly didn't work out for us the first time. We'll need to give each other space if we feel like we're crowding each other…"

I can see what she means by over-thinking things.

"Relax." I place a kiss on her temple.

"I mean I'm still sort of lost, I'm not a great catch—" she blabbers on.

"Can't you see?" I roll my eyes, "I've already found you. I mean granted, the first time I really saw you was when you were running away from me after jumping out from behind a curtain with an ink spot on your cheek…but hey who am I to question magical curtains?"

Her face flushes immediately. "You saw that?'

I nuzzle her neck instead of answering her, feeling the warmth of her blush.

"C'mon Rose, did you think I was so wrapped up in my snog session I didn't see you bolt out of there?"

"Yes!"

I chuckle, "Well what fun would that have been? If I had done that, I never would have seen you properly."

All I can hear from her response is "…so bloody strange."

I lift her chin up, so that she's looking at me clearly.

"Really? You haven't seen me in three years and you're making up for lost time by telling me all the bad things about yourself and calling me bloody strange?"

Her lips quirk in an exasperated yet amused smile.

"Do you have a better suggestion?"

"I can think of a few." I say and then bend down to kiss her once more.

* * *

**A/N: Huh. Well, yeah. Strange, I felt more accomplished last chapter for some reason.  
**

**Anyway, THERE WILL BE NO SEQUEL. Sorry. Just, no. I'm happy with this.**

**I hope this cleared up some of the questions you guys had in your reviews, however I know that I have been total shit about review replying to your questions, so I will grant you an awesome offer! I will reply to any of your review questions! Whoppee! Of course, if you're reviewing a long time after I have published this chapter, no promises. I plan to be leaving this site in May of this year (2012).**

**I hope you all enjoy the epilogue, I know that I enjoyed writing it.**

**I still can't believe this story is over, it's so surreal. You know, I used to think that this story would be seven, maybe ten chapters at the most. Obviously, things did not go according to plan, but isn't that half the fun of writing the story? Sometimes it's funny just to see where the characters take you and Rose and Scorpius took me someplace I never expected them to take me. It was seriously fun writing this story. At some point, I'll edit it, but for now, if I have to see 'Scorpius Malfoy has charisma.' one more time, I'm going to scream.  
**

**Please review. I know I begged last chapter, but I'm begging again. This is your last chance!**

**I wish you all the best-always and forever,**

**~wwccd**


	24. Update

**Hello there my lovelies,**

**I know that it has been ages, but I have finally decided to start editing this piece. Finally; its about time. I've been taking a little (okay, maybe not so little) hiatus for a bit but have recently begun to find inspiration in writing again, something that I have been searching for for about a year now. As much as this saddens me to say, my inspiration has been pulled from a death of a loved one, who always encouraged my writing and reading every at every opportunity.**

**I hope to writing becomes as important to me now as it was back then and as I embark on this next portion of my life (coincidentally my birthday is coming up as well, so I figured this must be a sign) I hope to live up to the expectations of those who love me and to continue to pursue something that once gave me such joy, even if I have been slacking of late.**

**Bear with me, as I am a bit rusty on this whole writing thing. But you lot have always been spectacularly kind to me in the past, and I am so excited for what will come in the future!**

**Definitely be on the lookout for this story, some minor tweaks will be happening here and there and even perhaps an added chapter or two. I hope that you are all as excited as I am!**

**Much love after such a long time, hoping I still have people to read my stories,**

**~wwccd**


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